Here we go again

[mrsmew]

I already shared on Facebook and my blog, so most (if not all) of you probably already heard the news, but in case not: our second baby is due July 1, 2014!

It still doesn't really feel real, but I'm glad to be out of 1st tri and feeling a bit better. 1st tri with a rambunctious toddler was no joke. God bless Elmo and the rest of the Sesame Street gang for giving me some down time.

We'll find out the sex of the baby on February 6, so I'm counting down to that.

Moms of 2, tell me it will all be okay! Ellie keeps me so busy, I'm having a hard time picturing life ever being "normal" again with two little ones. I know people do this all the time and it's totally fine but I'm scaaaaaared. Excited, but scared! Also now everybody is talking to me about potty training Ellie before the new baby comes and moving her to a real bed so we can use her crib for the baby and I just want to stick my head in the sand. That all sounds TERRIBLE. I've still been nursing her at night so first step is weaning (I'm so ready) and then we'll start thinking about all that other stuff. Tips? Advice? (Ellie will be 27 months when the new baby comes)

[sara76]

I'm typing with 1 thumb and under a baby so it's not going to be all I want to say but let me start with congratulations! I think it's great to get it done now while you're still in baby mode.

I guess I'm actually a mom of 2 now so I can share my experiences! Wow that really went by fast. I remember not too long ago I was the one who was scarrrred.

Our kids will be similar, Amelia was 23 months when Ben was born. And I was still nursing her. I had a lot of anxiety about quitting bc that was the only way I ever got her to sleep for naps and bedtime. Once I got the BFP I started getting her to nap in the car. That was I could put my seat back and listen to quiet for a little while when she slept and I wasn't nursing her down. So I was only nursing at bedtime. At her 18th month she finally self weened. I was 20 weeks pregnant and ecstatic. The way we did it was I would do our bath and book routine like normal. Then turn off the light and rock her without pulling out the boob until she asked. Each night she would go longer and longer before she would ask. Then one night she just didn't. I was terrified but I put her in her crib and kissed her head and said goodnight and she went to sleep! I think by that time I didn't have any milk left anyway so it was just a habit we both had to break. She never looked back.

As far as people suggesting you lose the crib and potty train, I decided not to do either. For me, I wanted to keep her routine as comfortable and as close to normal as possible to help with the transition. I knew sharing me in itself was going to be a lot for her to handle anyway. I didn't want to put too much on her at once. Plus I've heard so much about regression that I didn't want to potty train only to have her regress and be cleaning the floor with a newborn. I'd rather wipe her tush than wash the sheets every day until we are both past the survival stage. When Ben is 4 months and eating a little bit of solids and nursing a little less, and being a big sister isn't so new for Amelia, we will start with the training.

Right now Ben is 7 weeks and we are still in survival mode. But he's starting to have a routine. I carry him ALL day. So I suggest you learn the art and skill of Babywearing. And I suggest a woven wrap because it's very versatile and for me it's been my life raft. I used to be able to put Amelia down to take a shower and she would nap, but with Ben Amelia is too loud and interested so that's not an option. But now Amelia goes to bed at 8:30 or 9 and then I can nurse him down and he now sleeps around 10pm-2am, then 2:30am-5am and sometimes 5:30 or 6 until 8 when Amelia wakes up. He has cluster feeding phases where I don't get any sleep and they are hard. But then he'll take a 6 hour nap and I can regroup.

Yes it's hard work. But I do believe it's pretty sweet already to see them growing on each other. And I do love this little boy so very much.

Was that long winded enough? Ha. You're going to do great! I do think the transition from 1 to 2 has been much much much easier than from 0 to 1. Learning to become a mom was hard. We've nailed that. Now it's just learning to balance.

[scjb143]

I don't have any advice since I only have one, but wanted to say Congratulations!

[mrsmew]

Thanks, scjb!

And Sara, thank you. I've been reading all your updates with particular interest over the past few months, because I knew there would be a lot of similarities - similar ages for DDs, still nursing, etc. Your reasons for holding off on potty training are exactly what I'm thinking. I don't want to try to rush her into it before she's ready, and I fear regression, too. Plus I really don't mind diapers - having to be constantly on "potty alert" sounds way worse to me. I have no trouble with 2 in diapers at once. The crib v. bed thing though, I don't know. It seems silly to buy a second crib just to buy Ellie a bed a few months later and put her crib in storage. But man oh man, do I not want to transition out of the crib. I'd rather have her in a sleep sack in the crib until she's 5, if I could manage it. I dread that day. But clearly the more cost-effective option is to get her into a bed and use her crib for the new baby. I just don't waaaaannnnnaaaaa.

And we're going to start the weaning process tonight. I was just waiting for all our holiday travel to be over before jumping in. But my boobs have been huuuuurting so I'm very ready to wrap things up. Plus, she doesn't need it - if my mom babysits, she can put Ellie to bed without a bottle or anything with no problem, so she's clearly not reliant on it to fall asleep. It's just habit. So, time to move on. We made it 21 months and I'm super proud of that.

I also want to learn more about babywearing this time around. I had a Moby with Ellie but she hated the thing when she was little. The only thing she would tolerate as a baby was being bounced up and down on an exercise ball while being held facing out in my arms. Not that she was particular or anything though, lol! I wore her in my Beco Gemini a lot when she was bigger (when we were out and about) but I'd like to figure out more options and find a nice wrap for the new baby. I figure wearing him/her will be my saving grace. I guess I have some research to do. Any good starting points you can recommend?

Glad to hear 1 to 2 was easier than 0 to 1 because 0 to 1 was hell. Beautiful, sure, but hell. But Ellie was a really needy baby so I'm hoping the universe will grace me with one a little more easy-going this time around. At least I'm telling myself that's how it will work out!

[sara76]

A good starting point to learn about carriers and wrapping is a local Tampa girls website wrapyourbaby. She describes all the different wraps and carriers and links to videos. She has a Facebook page too. I started with the Moby with Ben because it was light and soft and I was sore from my c section. But by week 3 I was ready for my woven wrap for more support. It may be too warm for summer so I'm going to look into a lighter material wrap, the Bali Breeze, so I'll keep you updated on how I like that. Hopefully your new baby will like it because it's so handy to have 2 hands to take care of the crazy toddlers. Ben loves it and it is the only way I can get him to sleep during the day. If he's cranky when I put him on at first I bounce and shush a little and he calms down quickly. It helped me a lot yesterday for Amelia's 2 year checkup appt. He was a little fussy in it in the waiting room but I just walked around the room and he fell asleep. Then I had 2 hands to focus on Amelia for her Dr visit and he slept the entire time we were in the room.

Is Ellis showing any signs of wanting out of her crib? Amelia can get out of hers but she doesn't. She likes sleeping in it. She only climbs out if I use it as a time out method which isn't a good idea to do anyway.

[mrsmew]

Thanks again, Sara, for the wrap info!

And no, she doesn't seem to want out of her crib. She even likes to play in there and has never climbed out. (Although in fairness I still put her in a sleep sack to help prevent that very thing...if she wanted to do it, she could, b/c she can both get herself out of her sleep sack and I know she can get her foot up to the top of the crib rail.) So it's another thing I don't want to rush if I don't have to, but it just seems so silly to buy another crib.

[sara76]

The way I justified buying another crib (well..besides I didn't buy it, my mother in law did) is that I can turn around and sell it on Craig's List when we're done with it. A bonus is that Amelia's crib is convertible so I can take off the front and it's like a day bed. We'll be doing that soon but I want to anchor her dresser first before I give her complete free reign in there.

[babybchbum]

We moved Triston to a toddler bed around 16/17 months and he did fantastic. If you think she is ready transition her. It will make potty training easier later on.

T was 21 months when O was born and we had not one bit of sleep regression (thankfully) there was some jealousy but now he totally loves is brother and they are starting to play together and interact more.

It is so worth it to have them close together.

Congratulations!

[lauren9317]

congrats! good luck with everything!

[mrsjenrn]

First of all, congrats!! And ditto Sara! Zoe and Jack are 25 months apart. No time to write more right now, but I will!

And if you need VBAC info, help, support, anything, I am here! Or on Facebook!

[surfbetty530]

I don't have any advice since I just have one but I'm very excited for you. Can't wait to find out if it's a boy or girl! And Elle will let you know if she's ready to sleep in a big girl bed or potty train. Don't stress, Mama!

[etteyam]

Jan 3, 2014 14:21:31 GMT -5 sara76 said:

Yes it's hard work. But I do believe it's pretty sweet already to see them growing on each other. And I do love this little boy so very much.

Was that long winded enough? Ha. You're going to do great! I do think the transition from 1 to 2 has been much much much easier than from 0 to 1. Learning to become a mom was hard. We've nailed that. Now it's just learning to balance.

Congrats! I totally agree with Sara, especially the bolded parts. My girls are 18 months apart. I think by the time DD2 came, we had already transitioned DD1 to a regular bed since I didn't wanna buy another crib. We didn't start PTing until she was 2, but our main push for it was so she can get into preschool (they required for 2 year olds to be potty trained). I also recommend babywearing. I used my Ergo all the time with DD2; that was the only way I could get things done around the house as well as spend some play time with DD1. Now with DS, I wear him using my ring sling.

[kimandross]

Congrats! I probably don't have advice, as my situation with 2 has been a lot different than most if you. And my transition from 1 to 2 was a million times harder than 0 to 1. That's what I get for having an easy-ish baby first. But as others have said, you'll do great and things will fall into place for you and Ellie.

[mrsmew]

Thanks again so much everyone! And mrsjen, I'll probably be hitting you up re: VBACs at some point!

[sara76]

Mrsmew I just read toe blog post about weaning. Great job mama!

[mrsmew]

Thank you!!! It was almost too easy. I still feel bad about it but at the same time, I don't hate not having to deal with awful boob pain every night. She's just so grown up now!!!!

[sara76]

That's exactly how I felt. I felt like she grew up so much right then and there, and while I knew I would miss the moments with her, I was so PROUD of her at the same time

ETA also oddly, I didn't have boob pain while nursing pregnant.  The pain was in my back the moment she latched.  How strange.  It was crippling but it didn't last the entire session.  Just for a minute or 2, but long enough for me to dread nursing some nights. 

[loskadoodle]

Congrats MrsMew! I'm right there with you with all of these thoughts and fears. I'm pretty sure I won't be PT'ing before #2 comes but I'm still debating the crib thing. Can you maybe buy a bassinet instead of another crib until you are read to move Ellie?

[melis74]

I haven't been on in a little bit and just saw this, Congratulations, how exciting!! I'm sure Ellie will be an awesome big sister!

[mrsjenrn]

I had a much harder time going from 1-2 than 0-1. Maybe because Zoe was such an easy baby? Anyway, I weaned her at about 21 months. She will be 3 next month and is still in a crib. Yup, sure is. She hasn't tried to escape, so we are leaving her there as long as possible. She also isn't potty trained yet. Sigh. She pees and poops on the potty every night at bed time but that is it. We could probably be better at it with her, but honestly I still feel like we're in survival mode. We had sitter issues for so long, but they're getting a little better now. My work schedule is erratic, and although H won't admit it, me working FT is rough. I am working on going down to 2 nights a week again. I will take the pay cut for my sanity.