reassure me that this is normal.

[Deleted]

lately (past 2 weeks) my kid tells me that she doesn't love me/doesn't want to be with me all.the.time. she's super clingy with the husband.

this morning on the way to daycare she told me "i don't love you. i do love daddy and elephant and nonna."

i'm sick of this nonsense and it hurts my feelings, so i need reassurance that this is normal. so that i don't cry. this isn't helpful with my current cry-at-the-drop-of-a-hat mood.

she is ALSO super sweet and lovely to me. she came into the bathroom with me this morning while i was getting ready and asked such lovely, sweet questions and gave me a nose boop. she just follows it with being a grade A, killer punkface extraordinaire.

[cbwm1]

Totally normal.

Kids are assholes.

DO NOT let this get to you.

[ECB]

Yes, it's normal. She's not doing it to hurt you. She's doing it because this is a phase most kids go through!

[thebuddhagouda]

Kids are punks. Do not let it get you down.

[evee]

I don't know how old your child is but my DS will be 3 on the 25th. He does this sometimes to me too. Sometimes he'll do it to H. It just his way of being pissy. Especially if I tell him he has to do something he doesn't want to do. Then it's all "I don't like you mommy, I want you go to work"

[Deleted]

Jul 3, 2012 8:30:17 GMT -5 cjoy said:

How are you reacting when she does this? Because I would give her nothing. Or I'd start messing with her little mind and reply "Thank you, I love you too!"

"hmmm. i see."

"i love daddy too."

"love you!"


and then i go cry in a corner.

[cleo29]

This is normal though in our house it is the reverse and she gets super clingy with me.

[mamasaurus]

Not the same thing, but my sister used to do this to me when she was about 3, and I was 13/14. I would say, "Well, I love you anyway, jerk," and sometimes she'd give me a hug and say she was sorry she hurt my feelings. Well, either that or throw something at me. Of course, if this happens with my child I will omit the "jerk."

[partiallysunny]

Normal.

Try not to take it personally.

[Deleted]

Jul 3, 2012 8:32:53 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

I love you, cville.

thanks tamb.

i love you too, and will love you when joanna pulls this nonsense with you or your husband.

[evee]

Jul 3, 2012 8:31:06 GMT -5 cville said:

Jul 3, 2012 8:30:17 GMT -5 cjoy said:

How are you reacting when she does this? Because I would give her nothing. Or I'd start messing with her little mind and reply "Thank you, I love you too!"

"hmmm. i see."

"i love daddy too."

"love you!"


and then i go cry in a corner.

You do the same thing I do. If DS says "I don't love you mommy" I say "Well that's ok, but I still love you" *kiss on the head* go on with your day.

Within 5 minutes he's forgotten and he's hugging me asking for Gogurt.

[Deleted]

Normal.

I would respond by saying "Well, I love you".

[bluesmoothie]

Kids are schitzo at this age. It's normal. You are the center of her world...you know that!

[Deleted]

i'm glad to be reassured here that this is normal. i know it is based on books, but it's nice to hear from real people.

[Nicole]

aw, cville. this would make me cry too. we haven't gotten to this phase but i imagine i would feel just like you.

and i like cjoy's idea of saying, "Well, thank you! I love you!"

[saraandmichael]

totally normal.

when e would say that to me i would just say "oh, evan! that really hurts my heart. please don't say that."

[Deleted]

childrearing is an awful lot like being a spy. false facades of normalcy, long-range psychological warfare, frequent clothing changes.

fight the power!

[Deleted]

Jul 3, 2012 8:48:44 GMT -5 cjoy said:

I'm sure she likes seeing that she has that kind of power over you. I doubt she really understands that it hurts your feelings, she just sees your reaction and thinks "Awesome! I did that!" Like screaming in Target and watching you get all "Shh! Shh!" as people are staring.

Basically kids are jerks. Stay strong, mama.

Yep. I don't think they really have a concept of love yet anyway. It's more like "push this button and Mommy makes a face".

[Nicole]

Jul 3, 2012 8:51:32 GMT -5 cville said:

childrearing is an awful lot like being a spy. false facades of normalcy, long-range psychological warfare, frequent clothing changes.

fight the power!

lol! yes, exactly!

[vanillacourage]

Totally normal.

If DS says it when he's not in the middle of a tantrum (in which case he's usually headed to his room anyway) I nicely and calmly ask him how he would feel if I told him that I didn't love him. He usually thinks for a second and says "Sad..." and apologizes.

Then he does it all over again the next day, so I'm not sure how much it's sinking in.