I think it is a lot harder than people realize to relocate. Making friends is difficult, and especially making good friends.
I relocated in 2007 and 2009. My H is a student here, so we'll be around for a few more years, but then we'll likely relocate again after that. I can deal with the packing, the moving, the apartment hopping and the new cities. It's the making new friends that sucks the most. So, I get it.
I moved to a new city after my divorce - I didn't know a soul here. Almost 5 years later, I have maybe one friend (a coworker's wife) and she just had a baby. I honestly didn't speak to a single person the last two weekends. And now I'm dreading another day home alone tomorrow. I'll probably go to the pool for awhile. I'm actually a pretty social person. I've tried volunteering, young professional groups (I was too old), a running club (I was too slow). I've been doing online dating for 3 years and have had one second date. I just can't break in to this city, no matter how hard I try do I gave up. I'd move if I could find a job. So I try to be positive - I have a house I can afford and a job I like. I'm just lonely as hell.
Have you tried meetup.com? I've met a few new friends that way. Good luck to you! I know how isolating that can feel.
Post by karmasabiotch on Jul 3, 2012 21:15:47 GMT -5
I have gotten such great advice here. Now that I have pretty much reached full disclosure about huge chunks of my life I feel like I need to create a new SN.
njj, do you mind saying where you are? There are some places (e.g. the area in which I grew up) where I feel like if you didn't grow up there, it's next to impossible to meet people. In some cases, it takes a while, a lot of false starts and a lot of effort. We relocate all the effing time, so I know
njj, do you mind saying where you are? There are some places (e.g. the area in which I grew up) where I feel like if you didn't grow up there, it's next to impossible to meet people. In some cases, it takes a while, a lot of false starts and a lot of effort. We relocate all the effing time, so I know
Lexington, KY. It's a nice place to live, people are friendly. But it's such a small city, everybody who lives here grew up here on went to school here. Nobody - but me - moves here in their 30s. Big change from DC!
Post by regencygirl on Jul 3, 2012 21:31:15 GMT -5
My parents divorced when I was two, my dad moved back in with his parents so he'd have help taking care of my brother and me. We lived there up until I went to college, so my grandparents are basically a second set of parents to me.
My grandfather recently died, and the claws came out. Turns out that most of my family has hated my brother and I for years and are jealous of us because they think we are the "favorite" grandchildren. It's been nothing but bitching and complaining about the amount of stuff we were given, and why we shouldn't get anything of my grandfathers because we've already gotten so much. I'm over the whole assholisness of my family. They've completely cut my brother and I off. Deleted us off facebook and blocked us, we're not invited to family get togethers anymore. My grandmother KNOWS all of this. Yet she wants to keep the peace and won't call out her other kids for being such dickheads to us. Part of me gets it, she's getting old and she wants her kids around her. But at the same time, I'm getting tired of hearing her say what assholes her kids are (and how much she hates some of my cousins) and she will not tell them to knock off the asshatery and get over themselves. I'm kind of at the point where I just want to tell her, well since you keep going to family functions you KNOW we are not invited to, you are condoning the behavior and it hurts. I'm almost at point where I'm done with her.
It was the scariest and most exciting night of my life. I ended up needing a c-section because labor stalled when I reached 4cm. As it turned out, Baby Doodle was a hefty 9 lbs 11oz and his head was firmly stuck in my pelvis. He was/is 100% perfect- the health scares were only on me, and I'm so thankful that he's healthy.
We're settling in at home now and everything's going great
Njj- we gave moved ALOT in the last few years, so I understand (at least some of) how you feel. Making fiends as an adult is hard! I hope you find Friends soon
Meetup.com has not been helpful to me bc I don't have kids, I'm not religious, I'm a shitty runner & I don't like to club
I have tried three meetup 3 times, and each time it was a bust! Absolutely - if I were married with kids, I know I'd have friends by now. No church. I actually considered junior league as a way to meet people until a coworker took me aside and said not to bother, because they wouldn't accept me since I'm not from here.
Yeah, he's a chunk. No one was expecting him to be big. My belly stayed pretty small when I was pregnant so he must have been hiding in there really well!