Elementary girls & weight loss

[thom]

I have a class of 3rd graders at our church's Wednesday after-school program. We always start class with a few questions / ice breakers / etc and one of the things I asked last night is if they had any New Year's Resolutions. Two of my six girls said decidedly that they wanted to lose weight.

I was floored. I said something about they were all beautiful and too young to be thinking that, but I don't know if it came across right. I just felt at a loss for what to say or do. Is this common in girls this young? Should I just leave it alone next week or say something?

I should add that while these two are slightly heavier than my other students, I would not classify them as overweight. They still seem active/healthy.

Maybe this is no big thing, and they are probably fine. But I was just so stunned that I thought I could talk it through with you all.

[mrs.jacinthe]

That's so sad. Is it possible they said that because their parents set that as *their* resolution?

[Kore]

I definitely attempted dieting & definitely wanted to lose weight when I was in 3rd grade. Younger than that, even. I've had a very disordered history with weight & food for as long as I can remember.

It makes me ache for them, knowing the lifetime they'll spend struggling with body image.

[jordylee]

Sad enough, I believe it. Kids are really in tune with what is going on around them, and the world around them is saying that you should lose weight around new years. I don't know how I'd handle it in your situation.

Maybe a "write down three things you love about yourself" and "write down three nice things about each other" exercise to share some positive vibes?

[Deleted]

That's sad.

When I was a kid, I don't remember hearing about or being aware of diet/weight loss issues until middle school (grade 7, age 12). It hit hard at that age, though. One girl in my class that year was out of school for a while after being diagnosed anorexic. 

Given all the talk in the weight loss industry in the last 15 years, I fully believe that kids that young are impacted. 

[minion]

This makes me so sad.

[noisemaker2]

I have a first grader and sadly it doesn't surprise me. She had a girl in her class last year--in kindergarten!--who would turn down birthday cookies, cupcakes, etc "so she wouldn't get fat." Awful and so sad!

I think the best thing any of us can do for kids is to talk about our bodies in a healthy positive way. I make sure my girls know I exercise because it makes me feel good and strong and happy. And I make sure their relationship with food is a healthy one; we try to eat good foods so our bodies feel good.

We definitely have an uphill battle!

[kams]

Jan 9, 2014 15:07:04 GMT -5 noisemaker2 said:

I have a first grader and sadly it doesn't surprise me. She had a girl in her class last year--in kindergarten!--who would turn down birthday cookies, cupcakes, etc "so she wouldn't get fat." Awful and so sad!

I think the best thing any of us can do for kids is to talk about our bodies in a healthy positive way. I make sure my girls know I exercise because it makes me feel good and strong and happy. And I make sure their relationship with food is a healthy one; we try to eat good foods so our bodies feel good.

We definitely have an uphill battle!

This is absolutely on point. 

I have noticed my mom say things like, when DD makes pretend cupcakes, "Gramma doesn't need anymore, she's already fat!" It makes me absolutely seethe - especially since I aim to be a huge proponent of health over image. No wonder I have my own issues. As if the media and peers aren't enough, so many girls hear it at home, even if it isn't intentional.

[noisemaker2]

Jan 9, 2014 15:20:03 GMT -5 kams said:

Jan 9, 2014 15:07:04 GMT -5 noisemaker2 said:

I have a first grader and sadly it doesn't surprise me. She had a girl in her class last year--in kindergarten!--who would turn down birthday cookies, cupcakes, etc "so she wouldn't get fat." Awful and so sad!

I think the best thing any of us can do for kids is to talk about our bodies in a healthy positive way. I make sure my girls know I exercise because it makes me feel good and strong and happy. And I make sure their relationship with food is a healthy one; we try to eat good foods so our bodies feel good.

We definitely have an uphill battle!

This is absolutely on point. 

I have noticed my mom say things like, when DD makes pretend cupcakes, "Gramma doesn't need anymore, she's already fat!" It makes me absolutely seethe - especially since I aim to be a huge proponent of health over image. No wonder I have my own issues. As if the media and peers aren't enough, so many girls hear it at home, even if it isn't intentional.

This kind of talk from family kills me too! Even my husband has been guilty of it occasionally, and he gets the death stare from me.

[thom]

Jan 9, 2014 14:17:18 GMT -5 jordylee said:

Sad enough, I believe it. Kids are really in tune with what is going on around them, and the world around them is saying that you should lose weight around new years. I don't know how I'd handle it in your situation.

Maybe a "write down three things you love about yourself" and "write down three nice things about each other" exercise to share some positive vibes?

This is a good idea; thanks! At least now I feel like I can do something pro-active on this.

I definitely think adults, parents, and the media all talk about weight to such an extent that I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. Even the campaign against childhood obesity, which is important and well-meaning, probably makes little kids wonder if they are too heavy. It's a fine line to teach kids to eat healthy / exercise but still love their body.

Le sigh....

Thanks to all of you who are parents for weighing in!

[emuni04]

Sad, but I believe it. I think that was around the age I became "aware" of my body shape, although I don't specifically recall ever wanting to lose weight or change anything about myself.

I do think that we have to be so careful in how we phrase weight in front of our children - particularly our daughters. L is only 13 months, but my H and I are already attempting to make a habit of not saying "fat," "chubby," etc. in front of her. We want to live a healthy lifestyle with our children, but certainly never want them to feel as if their weight or shape is anything less than perfect.

Good for you for being proactive. Such a tough position to be in, I'm sure.

[katinthehat]

I read something the other day that said 80% of 8th grade girls have been on a "diet"

[taratru]

I had to stop myself just YESTERDAY from criticizing my own body in front of the girls. It's a terrible terrible place to be. My oldest is just dying at how "fat" she's getting and there's no telling her anything different. It makes me sad.

The other two don't say anything yet. I really hope to hold off as long as possible. So so sad.

[bostonmichelle]

It is sad. I started dieting and counting calories come middle school (6th grade). I remember one of my friends in 4th grade started counting calories and running on a treadmill to burn more calories. I was slightly overweight come middle school and my mom let me eat all the junk I wanted, so I think it was okay for me to start getting an understanding of food and have a better relationship with food than my parents provided. Not healthy that I started obsessing about my weight but my pediatrician definitely urged me at my physicals to get healthier. I also started doing karate around this time so my training factored into how I ate as well, I definitely had some runger back then and learned how my body reacted to different foods in training.

[jillybean222]

Jan 9, 2014 15:07:04 GMT -5 noisemaker2 said:

I have a first grader and sadly it doesn't surprise me. She had a girl in her class last year--in kindergarten!--who would turn down birthday cookies, cupcakes, etc "so she wouldn't get fat." Awful and so sad!

I think the best thing any of us can do for kids is to talk about our bodies in a healthy positive way. I make sure my girls know I exercise because it makes me feel good and strong and happy. And I make sure their relationship with food is a healthy one; we try to eat good foods so our bodies feel good.

We definitely have an uphill battle!

I have a first grader too (and two younger girls as well) and I talk about exercise and food the same way.  I agree though, uphill battle for sure!