I have a mid week date. Help!

[sharic]

I think this is an awesome first-date idea! What is the location you have picked out? A park? Or indoors? I think it is very thoughtful while still keeping it simple!

[sharic]

That sounds perfect! I am so excited that you have something fun to look forward to on your return home. You should get excited! Also, you're meeting soon enough, that you don't have the long, drawn out anticipation period!

[jojoandleo]

Don't forget the mood music and condoms!

I am excited for you and I hope you have chemistry and he is a super awesome guy. Or else I will kick his ass.

[cuddlyevil]

Yay!!! Midweek dates can be super fun.

I hope there is some chemistry and if not, that he ends being someone cool to hang with.

[doriswe]

The overprotective mom in me needs to say 'be careful inviting strangers to your building'!

[bullygirl979]

Jan 11, 2014 8:56:47 GMT -5 doriswe said:

The overprotective mom in me needs to say 'be careful inviting strangers to your building'!

Xs 2.

I think a picnic is a lovely idea. I just get uneasy about telling a stranger where I live.

[spindle92]

Jan 11, 2014 9:27:44 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

Jan 11, 2014 8:56:47 GMT -5 doriswe said:

The overprotective mom in me needs to say 'be careful inviting strangers to your building'!

Xs 2.

I think a picnic is a lovely idea. I just get uneasy about telling a stranger where I live.

X's 3.
Can you maybe find a place elsewhere for a first date?

[starburst604]

Jan 11, 2014 9:28:57 GMT -5 spindle92 said:

Jan 11, 2014 9:27:44 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

Xs 2.

I think a picnic is a lovely idea. I just get uneasy about telling a stranger where I live.

X's 3.
Can you maybe find a place elsewhere for a first date?

4th Indian. I LOVE the picnic idea but having someone at my building on a first date would make me feel awkward, just in case there's no chemistry. I wouldn't know how to get rid of him if it wasn't working out. "Errrr ok I'm going in my apartment now. You can't come."

On a side note, I had been talking to T for almost 2 weeks online and by text/phone before we met, because I was away and then he was. I was soooo nervous because I really liked him already but was afraid there wouldn't be a connection in person.

[jojoandleo]

If I remember correctly, MP's complex is pretty secure and you have to be buzzed in. Also, she's not telling him her apartment number, so even if he got in, he wouldn't know which one was her.

[bullygirl979]

Jan 11, 2014 9:59:39 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

If I remember correctly, MP's complex is pretty secure and you have to be buzzed in. Also, she's not telling him her apartment number, so even if he got in, he wouldn't know which one was her.

Not to sound uber paranoid but you can still be attacked in a doorway, stairwell, etc. And I've lived in secure buildings before and I was amazed at how many people will hold open a door for someone they don't recognize.

[formerlyak]

I love the date idea, but agree on picking a new location. Better safe than sorry.

[hazel]

Jan 11, 2014 10:29:31 GMT -5 jellymankelly said:

Jan 11, 2014 10:16:23 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

Not to sound uber paranoid but you can still be attacked in a doorway, stairwell, etc. And I've lived in secure buildings before and I was amazed at how many people will hold open a door for someone they don't recognize.

Yeah, didn't dynamoo say that her stalker was able to gain access to her building that night while he was drunk?

I think the picnic date is adorable, but I'd just be careful with inviting him to the building. You know the security of your place better than the rest of us, though.

Also, just in general I wouldn't want someone to know where I live right away whether or not I lived in a secure building.

mp - Hopefully you can find another place to have your picnic. I'm excited for you! I think it's a good sign you both have been able to keep a conversation flowing for this many days without meeting yet.

[mcc]

Jan 11, 2014 10:16:23 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

Jan 11, 2014 9:59:39 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

If I remember correctly, MP's complex is pretty secure and you have to be buzzed in. Also, she's not telling him her apartment number, so even if he got in, he wouldn't know which one was her.

Not to sound uber paranoid but you can still be attacked in a doorway, stairwell, etc. And I've lived in secure buildings before and I was amazed at how many people will hold open a door for someone they don't recognize.

Agreed. Regardless of how secure, don't let someone know where you live before you decide you want them to come into your home. I'd pick another location.

[bullygirl979]

mp, if you can't do a picnic somewhere else, what about going for ice cream and taking a walk? That is pretty chill.

[MixedBerryJam]

Jan 11, 2014 7:23:08 GMT -5 mp said:

Jan 11, 2014 7:19:51 GMT -5 sharic said:

I think this is an awesome first-date idea! What is the location you have picked out? A park? Or indoors? I think it is very thoughtful while still keeping it simple!

Aw thank you! My apt complex has a
roof top deck that is really pretty and I was thinking it would be nice if the weather is nice! It has cool swinging chairs and we can watch the sunset or enjoy the city lights.

I love the Thai picnic idea, but the mother hen in me doesn't like that it's at your apartment complex one bit. Is your apartment complex big enough that him going to it isn't going to get him easy access to your address, and by google, lots of other information about you? I want a Thai picnic with city lights and swinging chairs, though. If you ever want to date someone old enough to be your grandmother, call me!

ETA: I'm glad I'm not the only one thinking about that bolded. I don't know where appropriate lines are, though.

[jojoandleo]

Jan 11, 2014 11:43:11 GMT -5 FormerlyRR said:

I guess I'm a moron. I don't see anything wrong with the rooftop date.

You and me both. When I dated, they always picked me up at my house. I guess I'm lucky I'm alive.

[mcc]

Jan 11, 2014 12:23:12 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Jan 11, 2014 11:43:11 GMT -5 FormerlyRR said:

I guess I'm a moron. I don't see anything wrong with the rooftop date.

You and me both. When I dated, they always picked me up at my house. I guess I'm lucky I'm alive.

In some sense, you might be. Honestly, I've dated people where I let them pick me up or come back to my house and they ended up nuts and I had the uncertainly or whether they were going to come back and find me.  DJ was one, the wheelchair guy was another.  They both went BSC on me and needed to be with me.  There were times I was legitimately scared that I'd come home and they'd be waiting for me (granted wheelchair guy couldn't make it up the stairs but you get the idea).  Better safe than sorry.  Chances that someone is nuts is low, but there's always a chance.

[bullygirl979]

Jan 11, 2014 12:23:12 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Jan 11, 2014 11:43:11 GMT -5 FormerlyRR said:

I guess I'm a moron. I don't see anything wrong with the rooftop date.

You and me both. When I dated, they always picked me up at my house. I guess I'm lucky I'm alive.

I've never had an issue either but it just takes one time. Is this dude probably normal? Sure. But given there ARE crazies in this world, I'd rather not take a chance.

[mcc]

Sorry to be all Debbie Downer mp but for the record, I think it sounds like an awesome date and I'm kinda jealous of the lucky man who gets to picnic with you on your roof!

[spindle92]

I am the last person to think about "safety" (which is probably pretty poor on my part) but I would never have a guy I have never met at my place. Maybe after a date or two but not right away.

[jojoandleo]

FormerlyRR and I are probably SO most likely to get assaulted. Meh. I met guys in bars and came back to my house regularly. Never been stalked,

[kaneen]

All this "I always let guys come pick me up at my house and I've never been stalked" is exactly like the "well, I know a couple who met and got married within one month and they are still together and happy 30 years later. It can happen" argument.

[hazel]

Jan 11, 2014 14:25:47 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

FormerlyRR and I are probably SO most likely to get assaulted. Meh. I met guys in bars and came back to my house regularly. Never been stalked,

I think meeting someone in person first is different. I really trust my gut instinct whenever I meet guys in bars/public. But I don't have as good of reading of guys online, so I just find it easier to meet in a very public place, not anywhere near my neighborhood.

[jojoandleo]

Jan 11, 2014 14:30:26 GMT -5 kaneen said:

All this "I always let guys come pick me up at my house and I've never been stalked" is exactly like the "well, I know a couple who met and got married within one month and they are still together and happy 30 years later. It can happen" argument.

Lol

[Deleted]

I'm excited about this for you!  I agree with PPs, be careful!

[jojoandleo]

Jan 12, 2014 11:32:40 GMT -5 kevin arnold said:

Jan 11, 2014 14:30:26 GMT -5 kaneen said:

All this "I always let guys come pick me up at my house and I've never been stalked" is exactly like the "well, I know a couple who met and got married within one month and they are still together and happy 30 years later. It can happen" argument.

So you're saying that the chances of a new date NOT becoming a psycho stalker after giving him your address are exactly the same as the chances of falling in love and marrying him after only 4 weeks? That him being normal is actually less likely than either of those two extreme scenarios?

What is this word "normal" you speak of?

[kaneen]

Jan 12, 2014 11:32:40 GMT -5 kevin arnold said:

Jan 11, 2014 14:30:26 GMT -5 kaneen said:

All this "I always let guys come pick me up at my house and I've never been stalked" is exactly like the "well, I know a couple who met and got married within one month and they are still together and happy 30 years later. It can happen" argument.

So you're saying that the chances of a new date NOT becoming a psycho stalker after giving him your address are exactly the same as the chances of falling in love and marrying him after only 4 weeks? That him being normal is actually less likely than either of those two extreme scenarios?

Newp, I'm saying both arguments are equally ridiculous.  

[kaneen]

Jan 12, 2014 15:52:48 GMT -5 kevin arnold said:

Jan 12, 2014 15:45:48 GMT -5 kaneen said:

Newp, I'm saying both arguments are equally ridiculous.  

Lol! It's ridiculous to NOT assume that every guy you meet is a psycho stalker?

Oh good lord.

[jojoandleo]

Jan 12, 2014 12:41:13 GMT -5 kevin arnold said:

Jan 12, 2014 12:34:03 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

What is this word "normal" you speak of?

I always get stuck with the normal ones. I guess I'm not desirable enough to turn men into crazed stalking psychopaths.

You and me both. Do you think that means WE are the crazy stalkers in our relationships!?!