Talk to me about sleep

[nancybotwin]

DS will be 10 weeks on Monday. I feel like his sleep has regressed but perhaps my expectations have just changed.

I think my main concern is that 90% of his sleep (day and night) is next to my body (while I am wearing him, sleeping in my bed at night or, like now, on my chest). I do subscribe to the belief that months 0-3 are the fourth trimester and he needs to be close. But I was also re-reading Weisbluth (which is what helped DD learn to sleep 4 years ago) and he has me thinking that DS should go long stretches in his bassinet, and if I put him down awake he will fall asleep independently.

Please help - what are reasonable expectations for a 10 week old's sleep? What should I be doing that I am not?

[pupcake]

I didn't co sleep or baby wear but at 10 weeks most naps were in her crib. I'd say about 75% were in her crib. At night she would go to sleep around 7 and her first wake up was around midnight. I don't know how to get your little guy to sleep longer. At that age sleep is crap anyways, you just never know how they will sleep. I say if you are okay with your current sleep pattern then stick with it.

[greycat]

From about 2-4 mo I could put DS down awake at night (forget about naps). Then we hit the 4MW and we haven't been able to do it since. There's no harm in trying to see if it works but I wouldn't sleep train at that age.

[nancybotwin]

We have tried it - doesn't work. He just gets riled up, becomes over-tired, and the rest of his sleep is ruined. When I put him in his crib or the bassinet he either doesn't stay asleep or sleeps for a short duration.

I'd like for him to sleep in one of those places for longer. Is there something I can do to make that happen? Or is it still just doing whatever he needs/wants?

[nancybotwin]

And just to be clear, definitely not sleep training at this point. Just looking to develop some better sleep habits, if at all possible.

[ssmjlm]

At 10w we nursed to sleep and then she went into the crib.

Would he sleep in a swing?

[Deleted]

Have you tried a swing or a bouncy chair that vibrates? C slept like a champ at 10 weeks...but ONLY in the swing and only if it was moving.

[nancybotwin]

He hates the swing (though I keep trying!) and will sit in the bouncy seat when awake but if I put him in while asleep he wakes up within 5 minutes. The kid seriously has an alarm like "hey! Not on that lady! Must wake up!"

I guess I am resigned to having a baby appendage for more time...someday I will miss these cuddles, right?

[Deleted]

Weisbluth is the worst book to read with a newborn. Ferber is better. HBOTB Sleep is better. Troublesome Tots blog is better. Really, it's a short period of survival and once you hit 4-6 months you can "work" on it if you want. Or you can live with it if you want. You're not going to ruin any children with too many cuddles.

[Deleted]

At 10 weeks I think I was still rolling with whatever worked, so ditto PP.
I never really subscribed to the whole drowsy but awake thing. I rocked my kid to sleep until a year and still do it now. It's never been an issue. For some people it is, but if it's not for you, no need to make it one either.

I will say at 10 weeks, I started a routine. Just a simple bath, bottle bed. I think the fact my kid knew what was coming helped her become a champ sleeper. I also started a "longer" nap routine at the same time everyday. Again, I rolled with it. Somedays it worked great, the next it didn't. I just kept at it.

[schrodinger]

Jan 11, 2014 13:13:46 GMT -5 swizz said:

C has never gone to sleep awake. She nurses or rocks to sleep and I have no plans to stop any time soon.

This was my experience.  DD did all of her naps in the swing until she outgrew it at 5 months.  We then transitioned her to the crib.  I still nurse and rock her to sleep 90% of the time.  Occasionally I can put her down in her "drowsy but awake" state, but that's our exception not the norm.

[dulcemariamar]

My LO did not learn how to fall asleep on her own until I ST her about two weeks before her first birthday. At 10 weeks I would do anything just to get through the next couple of weeks especially with since your LO might go through the 4 month wakeful period?

I miss the cuddles. LO only napped on me the first six months.

[soozy87]

I hear you. My baby is 10 weeks old today and I feel like this week has been terrible for his sleeping habits. I wish he could tell us what his problems are. I don't know if it is his stomach hurting, if he is hungry, if he is just tired, if he wants to sleep on one of us, if he hates his crib, if he is too hot/cold, if he is not tired and wants to get up, if someone is eating his toes off. I just don't know what the problem is. I want to sleep train, but from what I am reading he is too young. If you figure it out let me know!

[hymen]

DS never put himself to sleep until we ST at 10.5 months using Ferber. At 10 weeks I would have no qualms about him sleeping on me. I was lucky though because I could put him down in his crib or pack and play with no issues after he fell asleep.

[formerlyllizzyb]

I respect Weissbluth, but I think you do whatever the hell works the first 4 months. He was helpful to me in regards to understanding newborn sleep needs, but I didn't really use his sleep training techniques until the 4-6 month range.

[curbsideprophet]

I say do what works at 10 weeks. There is plenty of time to develop good habits later.

[Deleted]

They say you can't make any mistakes before 12 weeks so I'd just go with what works for now. We had the best sleeper from week 6-14, then six weeks of hell, but back to pretty good around 5.5 months. They will figure it out eventually.

[osulori]

Jan 11, 2014 13:13:46 GMT -5 swizz said:

C has never gone to sleep awake. She nurses or rocks to sleep and I have no plans to stop any time soon.

AJ didn't start doing it until one night at the tail end of the FMW when he just would NOT go to sleep no matter how much rocking or nursing or both I did.  He was happy as a clam, just didn't want to go to sleep.  I was getting desperate so I decided to try putting him in the crib, turning on the mobile, and leaving...and holy shit, he fell asleep!  Now he does it about 1/3 of the time (and nurses to sleep the rest of the time, and always for naps with me) but I don't think he'd be able to do it if he hadn't found his thumb.

I know all babies are different but starting some sort of a bedtime routine seemed to help AJ transition from sleeping on me or on the Boppy lounger to his crib.  I started a loose routine around 8 weeks (which for him was/is bath if bath night, clean diaper, baby lotion, jammies, swaddle/now sleep sack, nurse/rock/paci) and played around with what time to start bedtime until I found a time that seemed to work the best.  

[nancybotwin]

You all sent good sleep juju! He slept from 8-10 on my husband; from 10-1:45 in his bassinet and then 2:30-5:30 in his bassinet and THEN 5:30-6:45 in his bassinet and...wait for it...7:15-8:30 in his bassinet. I feel like a new woman!

[osulori]

Jan 12, 2014 11:50:52 GMT -5 nancybotwin said:

You all sent good sleep juju! He slept from 8-10 on my husband; from 10-1:45 in his bassinet and then 2:30-5:30 in his bassinet and THEN 5:30-6:45 in his bassinet and...wait for it...7:15-8:30 in his bassinet. I feel like a new woman!

Yay!  Glad to hear he had a good night!

[Deleted]

Jan 11, 2014 12:57:32 GMT -5 @vicmo said:

I think Weissbluth is an asshat, personally. ?

ME TOO. I've read a lot of parenting books and that was the one that made me feel the most like a failure.
Team do whatever works.