I Could Use Some Hugs

[Duchess1]

LMC's mental health is worse than ever.She was so hysterical this morning I couldn't send her to school.

She cannot stay in the house like this but I don't think we have impatient options. I am so tired and done living like this. I literally don't know what to do anymore.

[ct]

I'm so sorry I hope you have a good team of professionals you can lean on for advice and support.

[2brides]

I am so sorry. Yes, getting inpatient admissions are so difficult to obtain...and are often short term and stabilization. Like CT said, I hope you have a great team to work with.

[seattlekari]

Sending big hugs and calming thoughts your way. I hope you are able to get some support and solutions that are helpful for all of you.

[Deleted]

Big hugs Duchess, LMC is in my prayers.

[kershnic]

Hugs to you, Duchess. Do you have any sort of intensive case management? Decent quality respite options? There are just not enough options for families and kid with serious mental health issues.

[Duchess1]

Thanks everyone.

Our team isn't great but we have limited options so I have to work with them. We are adjusting meds and I heard the word bipolar 3 times today.

She's very young but we have always expected that by puberty we would hear that dx. For now we have a bunch of other dx's, we're up to 4, to keep meds and services. I'm sure that those will fade away in time and bipolar will be her true dx.

I really feel like this is my fault. I can't parent her in a way that helps her. I have always felt that I was getting it all wrong and,clearly,I am. She needs to be the only or youngest child and have uber attachment parenting parents. I feel like by fighting so hard to adopt her I ruined her life. How ironic is that? :-(

[twotrue]

You haven't ruined her. You need to give yourself a break - physically and emotionally. Parenting is hard. Add in mental health issues and parenting seems down right impossible at times. Reach out to anyone you can for support, for you, for her, and for the family. (hugs)

[awkwardpenguin]

Oh Duchess, you have done such good things for her. Thinking of you and your family and especially LMC. Hugs to you.

[kershnic]

Parenting any child is hard. Parenting a child with a significant mental health problem is much harder. Nothing about your daughter's mental health is your fault. She has a loving family - you've provided that for her. There's no magical other family out there that would be better for her, and unfortunately a lot of difficult to parent kids in foster care end up with much less capable parents than you. The guilt is a sign of how much you care, but it's not based in reality.