Controversial Clicky: re-merge SN & SNP

[niq]

In case people want something to argue about instead of football

Now that dana86's kid is born, the mini-boom of babies is over. Traffic on Seattle Parenting has died down a lot. More parents now read or post on MMM then a year ago, so a lot of random baby/parenting-related questions are getting answered over there.

Should we go back to having one board? We should be honest though: there would still probably be @ish threads (where are good places to running with a stroller? should I take a job that means more money but also a longer commute? etc) but I think a lot of the day-to-day stuff is now either over with or covered on MMM. Anyway, open thread for pros and cons of going back to being One Big Happy Seattle Family.

[Deleted]

Is this linked over on SNP too? Maybe we should have everyone vote on this? Do the SNP only people want to come back or are they happy?

[niq]

Jan 20, 2014 17:04:47 GMT -5 @uwhuskygirl said:

Is this linked over on SNP too? Maybe we should have everyone vote on this? Do the SNP only people want to come back or are they happy?

I just posted a link to there

[stretchad]

I am fine re-merging the board. I rarely post there and always never really exclusive to that board.

Sent from my SCH-I535 using proboards

[mrslefty]

I vote merge them so long as everybody doesn't mind my endless questions that I know will come in the next months

[niq]

We have more than 12 regulars between both boards, right?!?!

[ashleyp728]

I'm fine as long as the@ posts won't be a problem. They may have subsided a bit now but at some point I'm sure I'll need parenting advice and I'll want to post, and eventually we will try for#2 and I will want to share that too. The SNP board is slow at the moment but that doesn't mean it won't pick up at some point.

[toratoratori]

I'm not voting because I wasn't here when the boards were united and don't feel like I should voice an opinion either way.

But I will say: We do have a baby boom coming this summer. mrslefty is due in ... June? July? And there are three of us due in August. I worry that may be overwhelming for the general board.

[ashleyp728]

Jan 20, 2014 23:52:11 GMT -5 kooshball said:

I have a hard time voting. I want both boards combined but I don't want 10 posts a day about strollers.

This is what makes me want to keep them separate. I don't think there would ever be 10 posts a day about strollers...but I don't want to feel like I can't post because there are people that don't want to hear what I have to say regarding the biggest piece of my life right now. It is sad that there is a divide and it is hard to stay on this board when do much of my life right now it's parenting related...I need to have a place to talk about that where I won't feel unwelcome.

[ashleyp728]

toratoratori that's what I meant in my first comment. It will come in waves and you guys week have questions. I definitely think we should keep the parenting board so we have a place to go with our questions and concerns. I'm sitting in the brink of a teething baby. I'm sure many posters on the main board won't want to hear me talk about him crying our different remedies to that.

[ashleyp728]

I just think keeping them separate will be the best option. But can we do something to bring people back here more often? A weekly check-in (with a reminder link on snp) maybe...or any other ideas? I do wish I knew more people over here but it's hard for me when my world is baby dominant at the moment.

[Deleted]

Jan 21, 2014 1:52:34 GMT -5 ashleyp728 said:

But can we do something to bring people back here more often? A weekly check-in (with a reminder link on snp) maybe...or any other ideas?

But no one's excluding the parents from posting here, they can post as much or as little as they want. As far as I'm concerned snp are still sn in my eyes.

There are quite a few people who post regularly on both boards without prompting, so maybe it's not that a nudge is needed, but that snp don't really want to come to sn?

Not saying that's how it is, but I can see that because, like so many people have said, your baby is a such a big part of your life and that's what you need to talk about right now. And (i'm assuming) everyone only has a finite amount of time to post everyday, so off they need to spend their time with parents then that's ok too.

Tl;Dr: post wherever makes you happiest and everyone's always welcome on sn.

[jennlin]

A lot of good points have been discussed... I voted no, because I like having the place to talk about leaky boobs, and never sleeping at night. That's pretty much what my morning posts usually consist of, and is my life lately, and for the rest of my life, I will always be a mom and have this obsession with breastfeeding. I have very few childless friends IRL, and just find it hard to relate to childless wonders these days. Nothing wrong with being without child, we just have different lifestyles.

As was mentioned before, when we first split, I hate needing to censor myself when I talk, so that separate place has been great. As for needing the poke to come back here, I suppose I could, but really I don't have the time to keep up with this non-baby board anymore. It's too busy, and I'm too type-a to let posts go unread, so it was easier for me to abandon it altogether. Plus I'm super lazy, and via mobile, it isn't easy to switch between the two, and like I said, would require censoring.

The baby board has been DEAD since sarack abandoned us!! And I've been away on maternity leave, and we are usually two very active posters. I would just love-love-love to get the parenting board back in business. I go back to work in two months, and I don't want to go back to cobwebs on the board!

Enough late night rambling yet?

[meshimeshi]

I voted yes, but I am not going to really debate this time. Last time, I think I wasn't great at explaining myself and I offended some people and hurt some feelings.

I will say that I miss the people who left and I miss our big happy family. I'm sad that some people choose not to post here at all. It would be nice if we could all be one board again and hurt feelings could be forgiven. :^)

@ posts wouldn't bother me. If there was something I am not interested in, I will just not open the post. I still do that now. When there are posts that don't apply to me, I just scroll on by...

[Deleted]

I will admit that I hardly check either board anymore. I don't know why really but I think part of it is just that I'm at a way different spot than everyone else. SNP doesn't really help me much because I have my bmb Facebook group plus a Seattle bump Facebook group.

I also think it's easier for me to post on the national boards with people who haven't known me since I was engaged and a young bride. My affair and subsequent divorce just make it so that I feel like I don't have anything in common with people over here anymore, not that I have much in common with the national boards either.

[Deleted]

Ok. new reg sticking her nose in and putting in my two cents. I LOVE to hear about your ladies' baby journeys. I make it a PRIORITY for me to check out HDBD every week because I totally care! In my mind posting about baby woes, leaky breasts, teething nightmares etc..that's all a part of you and I WANT to hear about that stuff. I think its the technical things like recing this or that that a parenting subboard is best for. But we still want to hear about your lives..and that involves your kids

[sarack]

I love being a mom. Don't get me wrong. The reason I left is because I don't want to just talk about bf, my birth story, how my twins aren't identical, how I dont sleep, how fat I am now... But I also don't want to just talk about dogs, drinking wine, sports, food or restaurants I'll never try...

I felt like the board used to be so fun. We talked about real shit. Obviously I am not on either board now and when I have lurked (like 3x since babies) I get overwhelmed and realize that I don't know the majority of the people on the board. I'm also not rich and I don't live in Seattle proper and I feel like maybe I just don't fit in.

All that said, I'm ok with it. I wish the boards would have never split in the first place. We probably should have made an fb page. But now, I just don't belong on either side. My vote probably shouldn't count but I say they should merge. There are things that bug me on both sides. This is all our lives and we like each other before. I feel this huge separation between the two boards and it sucks! If they were combined again I bet I'd come over more often so I could pick and choose from even more threads.

I miss my old friends and often wonder what is happening with them, but I just can't get myself to sign on.... I want our family back!

[sarack]

Btw, I'm still an asshole and didn't read the other posts. I'm at work with piles of shit to do. Plus, I pump every three hours. My life is super busy. Lol. You're welcome for that! Miss you all!

[Deleted]

Honestly there really isn't a way to make everyone happy with this. There is always going to be this split in the boards even if we recombine them. And people will always be worried if they are posting too much @ related stuff. But what's done is done and I think we should just leave it.

[Deleted]

Jan 21, 2014 11:17:54 GMT -5 sarack said:

But I also don't want to just talk about dogs, drinking wine, sports, food or restaurants I'll never try...

I'm also not rich and I don't live in Seattle proper and I feel like maybe I just don't fit in.

Sorry, I swear I'm not being snarky when I ask this, but what else would we talk about? Are there other topics that we used to cover that we don't anymore?

Iirc, some of the feedback that led to the spilt was that people didn't only want to talk about wine, cupcakes and other frivolous things.

And, there are tons of people on this board that don't live in Seattle proper or the state for that matter....

[Deleted]

Jan 21, 2014 14:37:32 GMT -5 @jennuinne said:

Jan 21, 2014 14:18:05 GMT -5 MrsPotatohead said:

ditto - obviously each person can only speak for themselves, but I think sf explained it well and probably applies to the overwhelming majority of pp here.  (I'm honestly not sure how many people said that didn't want to hear ANY baby news at all)

I don't think anyone said it quite like that.  But, some people said pregnancy and baby posts were upsetting due to their own struggles and other said they didn't care and didn't want to hear about pregnancy-related & baby stuff.  Others said they wanted to hear, but didn't want it to over take the board.  Or, at least that's what I remember.  

If I fall into this category then I'm apologizing profusely right now. If I ever said that then I didn't mean it like that. 

I love hearing the funny kid stories and about your kids. The flying spaghetti monster only knows how much mundane stuff I subject you to. 

So, if I did this then I'm super, super, super sorry and I didn't mean it. 

(hug) (heart) (hug2)

Also, FTR, if I'm ever an asshole, please feel free to call me on it. Actually, don't feel free to, I demand that you call me out on it. I really never mean to be an asshole, but sometimes I feel like what I'm trying to say sounds dickish. 

[tacocat]

I am an asshole so feel free to tell me that.

I totally want to hear about all the kidlets but will probably not venture over to another board to do so. I would love to have you guys back but I will do whatever makes people happy.

[larzhope]

I agree w/ pp re: talking about kids on the main board. I think what I saw as the final sticking point was that some folks felt that if they were only supposed to give updates on their kids but weren't allowed to ask the millions of baby questions, that they didn't want to post at all, which made me really sad. Even though I (currently) don't want kids, I LOVE hearing about others kiddos and what is going on with them. Obviously I've never had a loss or trouble TTC so I can't relate as well with the folks that were hurt by the posts due to losses/trouble ttc, so I won't speak for that situation, but I do miss the regulars that disappeared mostly after the board split (yes, I'm looking at you @jennuinne, sarack, jennlin, catbus). Before you were moms, you were people to me, and you still are people that I do care about, and I miss hearing what is going on in your life (kid related and all).

I voted to re-merge the boards, but I do like the idea of having the parenting board as a repository of info. I lurk on the parenting board A LOT (like... try to stop by once a day to see what is going on), and it seems like since the baby boom is mostly over, a lot of the "help me find a stroller" or "I'm having trouble breastfeeding" posts are gone, and it's mostly just morning threads and HDBD (which we could still do over here).

Ultimately, I'm non confrontational so I'll do whatever the majority decides, but I do miss the community that we had, and it sucks that feelings were hurt. I apologize if any of my comments hurt people because that was not want I intended at all.

[sarack]

Jan 21, 2014 12:55:53 GMT -5 @uwhuskygirl said:

Jan 21, 2014 11:17:54 GMT -5 sarack said:

But I also don't want to just talk about dogs, drinking wine, sports, food or restaurants I'll never try...

I'm also not rich and I don't live in Seattle proper and I feel like maybe I just don't fit in.

Sorry, I swear I'm not being snarky when I ask this, but what else would we talk about? Are there other topics that we used to cover that we don't anymore?

Iirc, some of the feedback that led to the spilt was that people didn't only want to talk about wine, cupcakes and other frivolous things.

And, there are tons of people on this board that don't live in Seattle proper or the state for that matter....

first- if we talked about cupcakes all day, which we used to, i'd be ok with that. lol. and i don't care if you're snarky, i love your snark. my point was just that i don't want to talk about baby things, but id on't want to just talk about how people are dinks and spend their time boozing it up and partying and shopping and whatever either. i don't remember what we talked about, and i don't pretend to know what you guys talk about now, because i'm not around. and to be honest, i didn't even know this was happening but some one told me that jennlin called me out so i came over to check it out. i agree with @sfgal that people got hurt when we split and if we merge again it won't be the same. but that doesn't mean i don't wish we could give it a try. 

i stopped posting on both boards right before the split, really. i was posting a little, but was too busy to post. and.. then i got stuck with the morning post. i wanted to say- holy shit i'm pregnant and i couldn't sleep last night, but that shit gets old. so then i didn't know what to say about my life that didn't revolve around pregnancy. then i had family issues.. and other stuff, so life just happened. i really shouldn't be apart of this whole debate either. i think maybe there should be general @ posts about pregnancy related, gear related, weird questions related.. or something, so the board isn't overrun. i KNOW part of the reason we split was me posting a million questions one day because i had kept all of them and then i just couldn't stop asking. however, i didn't do that every day. but as an attempt to keep the board active, i admit to contributing to the influx of @ posts. now that i'm not pregnant and i'm a pro at being a mom to twins (sike), i just don't want to talk to people about kids that much. if i do, i text them or private message them. unfortunately, most of you can't relate to what it's like with two, so i find that i need to ask m.o.m. (moms of multiples) for advice.. not that you wouldn't have a general idea, but you get what i'm saying.

anywho- i love you @uwhuskygirl. i do miss you and wish i knew what was going on with you on a daily! i just think that for me, i used to have a lot in common, wedding, marriage, and nesting. but i don't drink, i don't have fancy things, i'm just now trying to purchase my first home, i have 2 children, my mom lives with us, i have a dog, i love cupcakes, and i work a lot. that is about the extent of me these days. i just don't feel that i have much to contribute any more. so i stay away. 

[sarack]

Jan 21, 2014 14:18:05 GMT -5 MrsPotatohead said:

Jan 21, 2014 14:11:39 GMT -5 @sfgal530 said:

I think you should.  

ditto - obviously each person can only speak for themselves, but I think sf explained it well and probably applies to the overwhelming majority of pp here.  (I'm honestly not sure how many people said that didn't want to hear ANY baby news at all)

i agree that @sfgal530 explained it well and it definitely makes me feel better. although i didn't think you all never wanted to hear, i felt that if you wanted to see it, you'd pop over to the parenting portion. i also think it would be awesome if in the good morning post we were able to talk about our baby/babies or whatever. i'd feel good about that!

[sarack]

Jan 21, 2014 13:31:25 GMT -5 MrsPotatohead said:

Jan 21, 2014 12:55:53 GMT -5 @uwhuskygirl said:

Sorry, I swear I'm not being snarky when I ask this, but what else would we talk about? Are there other topics that we used to cover that we don't anymore?

Iirc, some of the feedback that led to the spilt was that people didn't only want to talk about wine, cupcakes and other frivolous things.

And, there are tons of people on this board that don't live in Seattle proper or the state for that matter....

yeah, this part also confused me... I'm not really sure what it is that we used to talk about that we don't anymore.  Not to mention I'm FAR from rich, lol.

also, i'd like to clarify... sometimes it seemed like all specific people talked about was just how wealthy they were.. and it could just be my opinion or interpretation, but our board used to have such community, and then little things like that seemed to tear us apart. it could be an insecurity, or just a misunderstanding, but sometimes i was like 'WHOA, i can't relate to that!' and slowly back out of a post.

however, i suppose that is why we had such community. we could all relate to each other in one way or another. 

[catbus]

Jan 21, 2014 16:23:06 GMT -5 larzhope said:

I agree w/ pp re: talking about kids on the main board. I think what I saw as the final sticking point was that some folks felt that if they were only supposed to give updates on their kids but weren't allowed to ask the millions of baby questions, that they didn't want to post at all, which made me really sad. Even though I (currently) don't want kids, I LOVE hearing about others kiddos and what is going on with them. Obviously I've never had a loss or trouble TTC so I can't relate as well with the folks that were hurt by the posts due to losses/trouble ttc, so I won't speak for that situation, but I do miss the regulars that disappeared mostly after the board split (yes, I'm looking at you @jennuinne, sarack, jennlin, catbus). Before you were moms, you were people to me, and you still are people that I do care about, and I miss hearing what is going on in your life (kid related and all).

I voted to re-merge the boards, but I do like the idea of having the parenting board as a repository of info. I lurk on the parenting board A LOT (like... try to stop by once a day to see what is going on), and it seems like since the baby boom is mostly over, a lot of the "help me find a stroller" or "I'm having trouble breastfeeding" posts are gone, and it's mostly just morning threads and HDBD (which we could still do over here).

Ultimately, I'm non confrontational so I'll do whatever the majority decides, but I do miss the community that we had, and it sucks that feelings were hurt. I apologize if any of my comments hurt people because that was not want I intended at all.

To be fair, I am just bad at checking in on the Seattle boards at all.   When I do, I come first to the main board, then go to the sub-board. I'm definitely not shunning the main board in favor of the sub!

[karebear219]

Jan 21, 2014 16:32:53 GMT -5 sarack said:

Jan 21, 2014 14:18:05 GMT -5 MrsPotatohead said:

ditto - obviously each person can only speak for themselves, but I think sf explained it well and probably applies to the overwhelming majority of pp here.  (I'm honestly not sure how many people said that didn't want to hear ANY baby news at all)

i agree that @sfgal530 explained it well and it definitely makes me feel better. although i didn't think you all never wanted to hear, i felt that if you wanted to see it, you'd pop over to the parenting portion. i also think it would be awesome if in the good morning post we were able to talk about our baby/babies or whatever. i'd feel good about that!

I feel like we can talk about our kids/babies in the good morning posts. Like @sfgal530 sad I do all the time. No one has kicked me out yet I just keep anything parenting specific to the parenting community where I know more people can answer and are looking to help me with my questions.

[Deleted]

Jan 21, 2014 16:28:13 GMT -5 sarack said:

first- if we talked about cupcakes all day, which we used to, i'd be ok with that. lol.


anywho- i love you @uwhuskygirl. i do miss you and wish i knew what was going on with you on a daily! i just think that for me, i used to have a lot in common, wedding, marriage, and nesting. but i don't drink, i don't have fancy things, i'm just now trying to purchase my first home, i have 2 children, my mom lives with us, i have a dog, i love cupcakes, and i work a lot. that is about the extent of me these days. i just don't feel that i have much to contribute any more. so i stay away. 

First off, shit, you want to talk about cupcakes all day?! I'll talk about cupcakes all. damn. day. every. single. day.

Also, do you think that we're doing anything exciting on a daily basis? I mean, really, I know that everyone doesn't give 2 shits if I took Betty for a walk today or what I'm having for dinner. As far as I'm concerned that's what I've always loved about this place. It's totally fine to talk about the mundane, but it's also great to share news that's big to you.

This board been some of my biggest cheerleaders, given me words of encouragement when I really was questioning everything about my life and giving me hair pats when I thought that I made huge mistakes moving to London. Without a doubt, this board has been one of my biggest saviors in my move. Without you guys, I don't know if I would have made it those first 6 months. I'm not even kidding a little bit.

THIS IS THE SHIT THAT MAKES THIS BOARD AWESOME, (yes, I am absolutely meaning to yell) big or small, mundane or super cool this is the place to come, chat and share news.

I don't know how else to say this and fix the hurt feelings that anyone has, but (from at least my POV) SNP was always welcome here and will always be welcome here to chat about all things mundane. This might be one of those downfalls of GBCN never forgetting, but I hope that one day we (SN/SNP) can fix things and be ok again.

[Deleted]

And, in the true spirit of the Seattle boards, I'm just going to leave this right here