help me think this through - newborn sleep UPDATED

[dcrunnergirl52]

When our babies got like this at night, the only thing that soothed them was tightly TIGHTLY swaddling them and then what we lovingly called "waterboarding" them. We'd take them in the bathroom, turn on fan, the sink and tub full blast, hold their ear as close to the tub faucet as possible. We'd stay like that for 15-20 minutes and eventually they'd soothe. Sometimes, I'd also bounce them on my lap. If that didn't work, I'd bring them outside. Or, we'd give them a quick bath just to change their state.

Good luck! Times like that are so hard. It will get better even if it feels like you're in the shit now.

[dcn]

Oh hugs. It is so hard. Tight tight swaddle, LOUD white noise and bouncing on a yoga ball helped ds when he was itty bitty.

And ditto white noise for yourself and earplugs to try to get some sleep for an hour or two.

Hugs hugs. It will get better, hang in there!

[redheadk]

First, Gerber Soothe probiotic drops are amazing. I used a tiny baby spoon to give them to dd since I didn't use bottles consistently. You can get them at Walgreens by the baby stuff.

Second, do all 5 Ss at once. Swaddle tightly, he shouldn't be able to move his arms. Try different motions for the "swing." Dd liked to be jiggled. Not bounced, not rocked, and not swung. I would lay her on her left side with her hip on my right knee and her head in my cupped hand on my left knee and I'd jiggle my right leg. Her head would jiggle ever so slightly. I could hold the pacifier in her mouth with my left hand. It had to be that combo, no other.

Sorry, I remember how incredibly hard it is and the feeling that it will never end. If anybody is willing to help, let them.

[House4Me]

Hang in there. Nights with a newborn will get better. I have a 2 week old who also loves to be held. You have to imagine that they spent the last 9 months curled up inside you and listening to your heart beat -- now all they want to do is still feel that comfort and security with their mom. What has worked for us is swaddle the arms only and only after baby is asleep in my arms can I then lay down to swaddle. Also lying down nursing in a safe zone on your bed does wonders for your own sleep!

I also cannot recommend enough the book WONDER WEEKS -- this is my third baby and this book has been spot on with all my kids!

www.amazon.com/Wonder-Weeks-Stimulate-Development-Predictable/dp/9491882007/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1390790563&sr=1-1&keywords=wonder+weeks

[fortnightlily]

DS wasn't a screamer, but the first few weeks we both slept a lot better side-lying in the bed with him attached to my boob. Not the super safest thing, maybe, but I knew I wasn't going to roll on him. It was a risk I was willing to take.

[redpenmama]

My daughter was exactly like your baby. She could only be pacified by nursing and would only sleep on my chest, so I was sitting up in the glider getting cat naps at best. It was awful. I tried everything -- swaddling, not swaddling, rocking, the 5s from Happiest Baby, pacifiers, white noise, gas drops/gripe water, etc. Nothing worked. I finally brought her into the bed with me at 6 weeks, and that did help some -- she would sleep in 1-2 hour spurts between nursing sessions, and at least I got to lie down. It improved from there, but unfortunately, she has always been a bad sleeper and did not STTN until 18 months when I weaned her (and even now at 2.5, she wakes up most nights). Anyway, I do not want to discourage you, but there isn't always an easy fix. I had people giving me all sorts of suggestions as far as what worked for them, and I am convinced that with my daughter, a sleep expert could've come in and wouldn't have been able to get her to sleep better. However, she did make gradual improvements, and the major sleep deprivation was over by the 12-week mark. In the meantime, I wouldn't let baby even unintentionally CIO -- he needs to know you're there. I agree that taking shifts is important and piecing together sleep will help you get through the long nights. Hang in there. It is really difficult, and it's frustrating when the tricks that other people use do not work for you. You aren't alone! But keep in mind that baby is still brand new, and sleep will improve over time, even if you have a problem sleeper.

[gibbinator]

I haven't read all the responses so this may have been addressed already. But when you nurse him in the recliner and he falls asleep, would you be able to hand him off to your husband who would then sleep in the recliner with him for that first stretch? That way you could sleep in bed some.
At that age once ds was asleep, he stayed asleep as long as someone was holding him (he woke up as soon as he was laid down).
Also, practice side-lyong nursing during the day. I remember it being a bit difficult with a newborn because my boob smothered his nose and I had to keep it pinched away so he had a breathing hole, but that way he'd at least fall asleep in the bed calmly instead of crying.

[sonrisa]

My first had colic and her unsoothable crying time was midnight to 5 am. It was rough. This one wants to feed and rock all night. It is still exhausting but at least there is something we can do that works. At this age they need to be held a lot. There is no way around it.

[cricketwife]

Thanks for all the ideas an support.  Update in OP.

[Deleted]

Jan 26, 2014 18:55:33 GMT -5 greekypie said:

Lastly, him crying while a parent holds him is different than him crying alone in his room. 15 days is so so young. It's super hard, I know. You'll get thru it.

I agree- newborns cannot be sleep trained but for your sanity it's OK if you put him down in a safe place for a few minutes to take a shower, eat a sandwich, or just because you can't take it anymore. No child ever died from crying.

Assuming it's not just normal newborn fussiness, try talking to your doctor about reflux and food (dairy) allergy. Most likely it's just normal infant fussiness though.

Ditto the night nanny and period of purple crying video. Also, there is a free helpline called the fussy baby network that was created to help stop shaken baby syndrome. Particularly helpful if you run out of ideas or just for someone to talk to.

Finally, Please be kind to yourself. Postpartum hormones make you do and feel all kinds of weird things. We are here for you for ideas and support. (((Hugs)))

[Deleted]

Jan 27, 2014 9:02:20 GMT -5 cricketwife said:

Thanks for all the ideas an support.  Update in OP.

I'm so happy to read the update. I thought of you as soon as I woke up this morning and really hoped you had a better night. It's amazing what a few hours of sleep can do!

[Deleted]

Jan 26, 2014 22:39:34 GMT -5 namasteak said:

Jan 26, 2014 20:28:37 GMT -5 pupcake said:

Doing shifts with DH works never have worked for me. I wouldn't have been able to sleep knowing the baby was crying and H was struggling. I also believed that since he had to go to work the next day he should get to sleep at night. I know that is not a popular opinion on this board but it is how I felt.

I feel the same way.

This was me especially during maternity leave but I found myself resenting DH eventually. And It made DH feel incompetent.

What worked for some of my friends was on hours like @acaawesome mentioned. Your hormones are playing tricks on you to make you think you are the only one who can help baby and DH needs to learn how to soothe so he can do his own bonding.

[Velar Fricative]

Glad to read the good update!