s/o baby names...

[2curlydogs]

I've never had to deal with family naming tradition but I'm not a fan of the "I'm carrying/birthing this kid, therefore I win" rationale for those sorts of arguments, either, unless it's directly related to carrying or birthing the kid.

[Deleted]

You best get on the same damned page about this before something occupies your ute.

Of course you should have some imput. But you also married into a family where this is tradition. You'd be insane not to expect some pushback from your H.

[Deleted]

May 14, 2012 15:28:31 GMT -5 2curlydogs said:

I've never had to deal with family naming tradition but I'm not a fan of the "I'm carrying/birthing this kid, therefore I win" rationale for those sorts of arguments, either, unless it's directly related to carrying or birthing the kid.

I don't think it should be I carried/birthed, so I get whatever the fuck name I choose.

But I also think I carried/birthed, so therefore I should get to have some input on his name is reasonable.

It's at least as reasonable as My family has done this for seven generations, so I don't really care what you think about it.

[AJL]

May 14, 2012 15:25:14 GMT -5 @littlemoxie said:

Speaking of baby names, am I total bitch for not wanting to follow MH's family's naming tradition? It's only for boys but they have been bouncing back and forth between two stereotypical Italian names for 7 generations now.

Is one of the names The Situation?




Kidding! I don't really have any advice. The only name traditions I had to worry about were Hebrew names that only get used a few times in the kid's life.

[Deleted]

My response to that would be that the decision is up to the two people who made the baby.

So unless it was your dick and ute present, your name on the adoption papers, or on the IF treatment consent forms, you no getta da say.

FIL can kiss off but it's your H's responsibility to tell them so. If he blows this back on you, he sucks at life and you get to shank him with a tetanus shot to really drive the point home.

[Deleted]

Also, my H is Italian and totally has the most stereotypical Italian American name evah.

Let's just say it envolves two popes.

[curmudgeon]

Good luck coming to an agreement on this, but I do agree the decision should be made by and supported by both you and your H. Family will bitch and moan, but eventually they will get used to whatever you decide. FWIW, my family had a similar (not as long-lasting) tradition. My mom compromised on having the "name" be his first name and him going by his middle name. This however has caused some confusion as he grew up and wanted to use his first name, but whatever.

[emilyj]

May 14, 2012 15:25:14 GMT -5 @littlemoxie said:

Speaking of baby names, am I total bitch for not wanting to follow MH's family's naming tradition?

If you are, then I am as well.

If I were to be able to have kids and a had a boy, there is a naming tradition on one side of MH's family that I am pretty sure we would be 'expected' to follow. I don't care for the names at all, so I would be pushing hard against those names. I think MH could give me compelling reasons for them, but I think I could give him equally compelling reasons against them.

I think, in a situation like this, if one of the parents of the hypothetical child doesn't like the names, then they should not be forced into naming their child those names because of 'family tradition'.

It's not my family. It's not my tradition. It would, however, be MY child.

[Deleted]

There is a list? What weirdos.

Yeah, H's name isn't Italian. Just Italian American tradition.

John Paul. Holla! lol

[Deleted]

May 14, 2012 16:13:39 GMT -5 @littlemoxie said:

.

So like
Enrico Paolo de Enrico I,
Giulio Emiliano de Enrico I,
Enrico Paolo de Enrico II,
Giulio Emiliano de Enrico II

and so on and so on. My husband is the fourth of his and if we had a son it would be the fourth of the other name.

Lame-o

Would they/you consider a different version of one of those names?

For instance, I understand this isn't the exact list but for example purposes, Paul instead of Paolo?

[msmerymac]

I think both parents should have veto power over names they really dislike, for whatever reason. I love my husband's first name, and it's pretty trendy for babies now, but I hate the concept of "juniors," so I'd tell him no.

BUT in my case, our future children will get my husband's last name (we've decided they get mine as a second middle), so I do tend to get kind of, "well, he/she has your last name and it's my baby too..." At least in theory.

[meshaliuknits]

I have a FoaF who is a Greek lady who married a Filipino dude. Both sides had naming traditions that were expected to be followed. The Filipino name sounded like the word for 'crazy' in Greek and the Greek name sounded like a slur in Tagalog, so they skipped the tradition entirely and the baby got a completely unrelated name. They kept in under their hat until after the baby was born, after which everyone was too busy cooing at the baby to care.

So it could work out.

[basilosaurus]

That makes me laugh, mesh. I would have been tempted to find the greek word for crazy and suggest that as a name to the filipino family and vice versa.

I could consider a tradition, but I'd be pissed if I was expected to follow it. My child, my choice. The father gets veto power, but grandparents get zero say.

[basilosaurus]

Tell them your family tradition is to use a name that's never been in the family and to honor the mother's request without complaint. I'm sure they'll respect that tradition as much as their own.

[doctorwho]

May 14, 2012 16:15:24 GMT -5 @soudesafinado said:

May 14, 2012 15:48:59 GMT -5 asdfjkl said:

Unpopular opinion: she who pushes the baby out, has final say.

This is where I was with it for those five mins of pregnancy.

I didn't know it was UO. I also didn't know who soudesafinado was until this post.

[cookiemdough]

I am curious if someone has already had a baby with this problem. My MIL has offered very strong opinions on what we should name this baby. She has now brought it up a couple of times. She also spoke to my mom about it. I asked my mom if she was really serious and she thought so. So yeah. I am wondering what I should prepare myself for when we don't use the name she picked.

[shopgirl07]

I'm of the opinion that you should love your baby's name. If either party doesn't like the name, it's out.

For the record, I don't like Paolo or Paul either.

[caden]

I like ethnic family traditions (maybe b/c my family has none) but there's no way I'd name my kid a name I disliked. If I was "meh" on the name I might agree and call him by some nickname I liked. That's what all of the super-Italian named people I know do. Claim the American tradition where if you feel like it, you can name your kid Blue or Pencil and no one can stop you. ; )

[mcgee]

May 14, 2012 15:48:45 GMT -5 @habbsies said:

My response to that would be that the decision is up to the two people who made the baby.

So unless it was your dick and ute present, your name on the adoption papers, or on the IF treatment consent forms, you no getta da say.

FIL can kiss off but it's your H's responsibility to tell them so. If he blows this back on you, he sucks at life and you get to shank him with a tetanus shot to really drive the point home.

What she said. It's one thing if you really like the name, but if you don't, then NO, I would not bestow it upon your child solely for the purpose of making FIL happy.

Yeah, I get it, it's based on generations of tradition, but really, it's stupid that you have to be constrained by something someone decided 100+ years ago.