XP: Have you been to Saudi?

[Brit]

Can you tell me about your experience? Especially if you have gone there for work.

[klingklang77]

I have not been to Saudi, but my husband went on a few to Saudi. I can ask him any questions you may have. The one thing I remember him telling me is that women needed a male escort to get picked up from the airport. He also said he didn't leave the hotel except to go to the attached mall.

[Brit]

Just in and out. A transfer would be something else! I know an American girl who lived there as a teenager (like 20 years ago) and one who lived there as a child, but no recent data points for visiting or living except for from men.

[jennybee1018]

I'm paging jupiter2311, as she would have some insight on traveling to Saudi. Similarly to your friend, she grew up there when she was young, and now lives in the ME. Her DH works in Saudi but they live in Bahrain, and she goes with him on the weekends sometimes (not for work) but she could probably give you an idea of what it's like!

[Brit]

Thank you jennybee1018. I hope she responds.

[jennybee1018]

Feb 12, 2014 10:59:44 GMT -5 Brit said:

Thank you jennybee1018. I hope she responds.

She's not around as often. I'll send her a quick email so she knows to check over here when she has a minute! (ETA: I just remembered that her MIL is visiting, so not sure when she'll have minute, but hopefully she'll stop in)!

Are you heading there for work sometime soon?

[Brit]

Feb 13, 2014 0:58:02 GMT -5 jennybee1018 said:

Are you heading there for work sometime soon?

Yes, in a few weeks. I just want to know what to expect. And how to act. Shake hands (with men), don't shake hands? What about with women? Any weird things about eye contact? What to wear under my abaya? Any taboo small talk topics?

I'm way overthinking this. I think...

I dunno. Even in Dubai I had to learn to put my hand out during the rounds of hand shakes or I would get passed over. Thankfully someone said something within the first few weeks.

In India there were some weird eye contact things. Some men acted super skittish if I looked them in the eye when I talked to them. I remember asking someone to look at me when I spoke to him...--> Crazy, rude, American lady.

[jennybee1018]

I don't think you're overthinking it! Especially since it's for work, you don't want to do anything that could be detrimental to future work colleagues/partners/etc.

I am pretty sure most ladies wear whatever they want under their abaya! Since no one will see under it, that should be easy. Jeans, skirts, pajamas :-P Anything goes, lol.

Shaking hands with men is always a weird one. I have male colleagues who are Arab who won't shake my hand, and that is ok. I guess I'd wait for them to extend it, and if they don't, then you know not to.

I don't think there are any eye contact issues - but I've never been to Saudi, so who knows if things are different?

I talked Jupiter2311, and she's actually on her way to Saudi now, so she'll try to check in a little later and answer your questions!

[jupiter2311]

Hi! JennyBee told me you were looking for some info on Saudi. Like she said, both my DH and I grew up over there and we live in Bahrain now, he works there, and I head over there occasionally for IKEA runs!

I have never worked there but I do go with my DH to his office sometimes and I always wait for his colleagues to extend their hands. (Some who are more Western educated have no problem shaking my hands, others just say hi - I did this even in Bahrain when I was working because men are weird about that.) I have heard not to make direct eye contact but that's more in public, just because some people think it's an "invite". Obviously in a working environment you need to speak to people! The men didn't seem weirded out if I looked them in the eye.

Like JennyBee said, I would wear whatever you want under your abaya (at least you know you need one!) Today I just wore jeans and a long sleeve shirt and to be honest, I feel more comfortable wearing the abaya in Saudi just because if you didn't, you'd be in the minority and people are more likely to stare haha.

Where are you going in Saudi? Eastern Province or Riyadh? That would make a slight difference because I know Riyadh is more strict.

Honestly, you are an expat, people will know that and understand that you aren't Muslim or Arab. I can't think of anything not to talk about, except maybe political situations?

Feel free to ask any other questions, I can always ask my husband, there are a few women who actually work in his office and my MIL also worked there for years.

[Brit]

Thank you so much jupiter2311! You were a huge help. I feel better already. I am headed out this weekend to buy my first abaya. Are there 'business' abaya styles versus casual versus dressy? Some that I see here are obviously super gaudy and not for work... If I go to a shop, will the ladies be able to talk me through that? Also, if I am there for say three days and will see the same people each day, do I want three abayas? I will almost for sure use them again, so it won't absolutely kill me if you tell me I need to buy several.

[jupiter2311]

No problem, HTH! I don't' think there are "business" ones. I would, as you said, not get anything super gaudy. They have some with just simple embroidery, I'm sure if you explained the situation, they would help you find something subtle but still nice. Also, you don't need more than one Unless you want to but it's absolutely not necessary. I've had the same one for 5 years! I always think they are similar to buying a new dress, like I imagine a husband saying "here's some money, you should buy a new abaya", it's the main way for them to express themselves, you know?