Tell me I'm being childish.

[malibu]

Curious question - how do you know it's your lack of greeting her? Has she told you that's why?

[MWOS]

I thought the point of working in an environment like that was NOT HAVING TO TALK TO PEOPLE

[MWOS]

I can't imagine having to walk around to seek someone out (who may be in any corner of the room, or in an adjacent room, focused on their job) to say hello. That ain't how this shit works. And GOD HELP YOU if you interrupt me while I am focused on something. This is weird.

[snickers]

Is it possible she thinks the exact same thing about you?
I don't mean it in a snarky way.

[Deleted]

My mom has someone like this at work. But she doesn't have a message board to vent to, so she just calls me instead, lol.

[snickers]

Feb 12, 2014 17:36:47 GMT -5 ste said:

Feb 12, 2014 17:27:14 GMT -5 snickers said:

Is it possible she thinks the exact same thing about you?
I don't mean it in a snarky way.

It's absolutely possible.

But (serious question) if someone coming in to work after you walks into a room where you're already working - and you're actually working, head down/doing things - what do you expect of them? What's the appropriate thing for then to do, when they also have work there waking to be done?

For me, if I was in either situation I would probably say hi, unless I am completely absorbed into my work that I don't notice someone entering the room. If I were working and noticed someone entering, I would say Hi! and if I entered a room where there were people I would also say "hi" to everyone in general.

[noodleoo]

I hate to say it, but you sound antisocial. How hard is it to just say Hi as you walk by her? You must be coming off as cold and unfriendly. Whether that's fair or not doesn't really matter. She's your boss and this sounds like a really easy thing to fix. You sound stubborn. 

[ECB]

Feb 12, 2014 17:36:47 GMT -5 ste said:

But (serious question) if someone coming in to work after you walks into a room where you're already working - and you're actually working, head down/doing things - what do you expect of them? What's the appropriate thing for then to do, when they also have work there waking to be done?

I expect them to come in and get to work, I guess.  If I'm truly busy/working, I'd rather not be interrupted by people who are just saying "hello" because they just got to work.  I consider myself a friendly person, but when it comes to work - I don't have the need to say "hi" to everyone or to be said "hi" to. 

Yes, when we finally see each other face to face, I'd expect us both to say "hi", but past that....  no one needs to seek me out, I'm not going to seek anyone out.

[pantsparty]

If you were simply co-workers, I'd tell you to KOKO. But being that she's your supervisor, I think it makes sense if you try to say hi when you come in. I know it's an inconvenience, and I'd be annoyed with it too, but I'd do it to maintain a good working relationship.

[So_Fetch]

Im a pretty firm believer in whatever is important to your boss is important to you. If youre finding that its important to her that you say hello, you say hello. You dont have to stop and chat, but a simple good morning can go a long way with her, or so it seems. Why not make your life easier and make your boss happy even if its dumb to you?

Sent from my SCH-I535 using proboards

[papie]

Feb 12, 2014 17:36:47 GMT -5 ste said:

Feb 12, 2014 17:27:14 GMT -5 snickers said:

Is it possible she thinks the exact same thing about you?
I don't mean it in a snarky way.

It's absolutely possible.

But (serious question) if someone coming in to work after you walks into a room where you're already working - and you're actually working, head down/doing things - what do you expect of them? What's the appropriate thing for then to do, when they also have work there waking to be done?

I expect the person to say hello? Or I would?
This is strange. Lol

[moolarkey]

I had a manager that, if we let him, would go weeks without speaking to any of us. It became my goal to make that man speak to me at least once a day.

[BobCostasEyes]

This is silly and could all be in your head. Say hello or don't. I'd, personally, just say hi, if you happen to walk by her. I like to wink at people.

[BobCostasEyes]

Feb 12, 2014 18:25:34 GMT -5 ste said:

Feb 12, 2014 18:23:04 GMT -5 BobCostasEyes said:

This is silly and could all be in your head. Say hello or don't. I'd, personally, just say hi, if you happen to walk by her. I like to wink at people.

Double eyed wink now, right?

I'm seeing in quadruples over here.

[bania]

When I enter a room, I greet whoever is there.

Usually we greet each other at the same time.

Do you not like your supervisor?

[FastHands]

Maybe if you don't say hi she thinks you're in a pissy mood and leaves you alone? IDK.

If I walk by people working, I'll say "morning" or "hey" as I pass just to be polite. I don't stand there and expect a conversation, and I don't care if they continue working and don't acknowledge me (I know that there are certain experiments where looking up or breaking concentration could screw up the whole thing), but I'd feel weird walking right by someone I work with/for and not saying anything.

[noodleoo]

Feb 12, 2014 17:53:46 GMT -5 freedom said:

Feb 12, 2014 17:44:16 GMT -5 noodleoo said:

I hate to say it, but you sound antisocial. How hard is it to just say Hi as you walk by her? You must be coming off as cold and unfriendly. Whether that's fair or not doesn't really matter. She's your boss and this sounds like a really easy thing to fix. You sound stubborn. 

Why is it mrssteste's burden to say hello? Why can't the supervisor do it? 

Because she comes in after her boss.  That's a pretty normal social convention. Also, because she's noticed that it annoys her boss that she doesn't.  It is such a silly thing to be stubborn about. If she was the boss, she could do whatever she wants.  But she's not.  And she's really making a mountain out of a molehill here. 

I realize that she she recognizes that she's socially awkward and admits it.  This makes me think that she probably comes across as unfriendly and probably doesn't realize that it may hold her back in her career.  Again, fair or not, it doesn't really matter.  The fact is that being likeable and friendly are important in the workplace. 

[Deleted]

Feb 12, 2014 18:46:35 GMT -5 ste said:

Feb 12, 2014 18:43:15 GMT -5 FastHands said:

I'd feel weird walking right by someone I work with/for and not saying anything.

Herein lies the problem... bc this is not even a tiny bit weird for me.

Eta to clarify: it's not weird for me/to me to just come in and get to work. It doesn't necessarily have anything to do with how I'm feeling or my attitude or anything.

It sounds like you're an introvert. Your boss should not passive-aggressively punish you for this. This would bother me, too. 

[ECB]

Feb 12, 2014 19:01:16 GMT -5 @southsam said:

Feb 12, 2014 18:46:35 GMT -5 ste said:

Herein lies the problem... bc this is not even a tiny bit weird for me.

Eta to clarify: it's not weird for me/to me to just come in and get to work. It doesn't necessarily have anything to do with how I'm feeling or my attitude or anything.

It sounds like you're an introvert. Your boss should not passive-aggressively punish you for this. This would bother me, too. 

Maybe the boss is an introvert too and LIKES it that some people don't insist on saying hi every day.

[jenna]

Honestly, I'd just suck it up and say hello to your boss.

I really don't like making a lot of small talk at work, but I do it to keep the peace, and socialize a bit.

[mcfelix]

I always say good morning to my co-workers when I come in. No conversation, just a good morning as I walk by their offices - as long as their door is open and they aren't on the phone. I think it's common courtesy.

[pittsmcgee]

I always say "hi" or "good morning" to people when I see them for the first time for the day.
I fucking hate it, but I have to play the game. Sorry, dude.

[flex]

I always greet people if they're in the same room as I am. Not a bear hug or an effusive "HI!", but more like a "hey, 'sup?" or "hi, how are you?", and then I keep walking or do whatever I'm going to do that day.

She may think that you're giving her the cold shoulder by not acknowledging her.

[revolution]

Feb 12, 2014 19:55:07 GMT -5 flex said:

I always greet people if they're in the same room as I am. Not a bear hug or an effusive "HI!", but more like a "hey, 'sup?" or "hi, how are you?", and then I keep walking or do whatever I'm going to do that day.

She may think that you're giving her the cold shoulder by not acknowledging her.

This is where I am. If you walk into the room, say hey or morning as you walk by.

Your boss might think you are in a pissy mood if you are walking by and ignoring her.

[iamgrace]

I don't understand not greeting someone as I walk into a room or pass them for the first time in the morning. I basically live to talk to people at work, though.

[FastHands]

So if you don't say hi to her and then she doesn't talk to you all day, isn't that sort of a win if you don't want to talk to her..?

[iamgrace]

And I will also say that sometimes I read threads like this and feel good about myself. I'm not so weird after all. Lol.

[MyName]

My first thought was that she assumes you are in a bad mood when you don't greet her, so she leaves you alone. I don't think not talking to you is any sort of punishment, especially since it seems obvious you don't want to be talked to much anyway.

The company I work for is three people, and it's usually just two of us in the office. We can go whole days without speaking, even though our offices are right next to each other. Neither of us are the type to chit chat, so some days it just happens. But if his door is open/he's not on the phone when I come in, I say good morning and keep walking.

[pantsparty]

Feb 12, 2014 19:33:59 GMT -5 ste said:

Feb 12, 2014 18:49:01 GMT -5 noodleoo said:

You're probably right. It sucks, because I didn't go into my field because I'm social/sociable. But fortunately there aren't any promotions in my job hinging on my ability to make small talk.

I'm shy, and introverted. I'm not unfriendly, but I like to do my work and go home. I made a career choice in part related to that, so this particularly frustrating to me.

I'm not saying you're NOT unfriendly, but not saying hi to someone when you come in is off-putting. I can also be quite introverted, but saying hi when one comes in is a social norm, not some crazy extroverted behavior. I get that it's uncomfortable, but it's just a greeting.

[iamgrace]

If we are splitting hairs here, I will say that I think the onus is on the person entering the room to say hi. I don't know if that's correct or not, but it's just how I do things. Lol.