How to break your trainer's heart

[Deleted]

Here's a string of consciousness where I need you all to confirm my craziness.

I'm looking at my training schedule, and it's just too much. I'm going to injure myself, or break down. It's not the running, it's everything else, and I have to make cuts. Right now the week looks like this:

Sunday - long run
Monday - strength (if you read my blog at all, this is the Extreme! class I talk about like, always)
Tuesday - cardio class @ lunch, kickboxing in the evening
Wednesday - strength, run (speed/tempo/hills) in the evening
Thursday - spin, kickboxing in the evening
Friday - optional lunch strength class, run (easy)
Saturday - rest

If I look at the priority, which is to get through this half marathon, I need to make cuts. I refuse to cut strength because nothing has ever made a difference in how I feel and my body like it has, so here's the breakdown in priority:

Running
Strength
Spin (XT, tri season follows shortly after the half)
Cardio Interval @ lunch (it's mostly running and body-weight plyometrics, it's made a positive impact on running in the past)
Kickboxing 

Here's the problem. My kickboxing instructor and I are very close. He's one of my best friends, he's seen me through 3 years of training now, losing 85 lbs. But the class, while a great workout, isn't going to really help me achieve my goals right now. I need more resting time, pulling 3-4 doubles a week is too much. I can't keep my house clean, cook appropriate meals, spend time with my husband if I keep doing this. And it's likely that I will get injured. 

I think he'll understand, but he's going to get cranky at me, and he's going to take it personally. I just need to do it, right? It's not like I won't be back ever, I just need to do this whole running thing right now. But how do you break your trainer's heart?

Or am I overthinking it, like I tend to do? Help me, or just hug me. I'm good with either.

[clseale]

Before I even finished reading, the first thing I thought was that you needed to ditch that kickboxing class. It's all just too much. Idk, I think when training for a race, the focus needs to be running, with other things added in to compliment it. There's a lot of "other" in that schedule.

ETA: I'm also having a difficult time with the strength/speed work day. How is that done? I question you having enough left in you after the strength class to have a truly beneficial speed work session. Speed work is already an aggressive workout day.

[InBetweenDays]

You can't worry about hurting his feelings when you are legitimately worried about getting injured. I would hope he'd understand and want you to do what you need to meet your goals.

But if YOU wanted to include kickboxing, maybe alternate weeks? So maybe one week you do the kickboxing instead of cardio and the next week instead of spin?

Sent from my SCH-I535 using proboards

[Deleted]

Feb 13, 2014 10:18:41 GMT -5 clseale said:

Before I even finished reading, the first thing I thought was that you needed to ditch that kickboxing class. It's all just too much. Idk, I think when training for a race, the focus needs to be running, with other things added in to compliment it. There's a lot of "other" in that schedule.

ETA: I'm also having a difficult time with the strength/speed work day. How is that done? I question you having enough left in you after the strength class to have a truly beneficial speed work session. Speed work is already an aggressive workout day.

I'd move the speed work to Tuesday instead of Wednesday after strength if I drop kickboxing. 

[MrsE]

Um, yah, that's way too much (at least it would be for me;)). Your instructor may be disappointed, but if he's a true friend, and wants you to achieve your running goals, he should be supportive or at least understand why you need to drop the kickboxing class right now. GL.

[lauren170]

It's the quality of the workout and not the quantity when you want to make performance gains. For just pure weightloss quantity works - but after a certain point you have to change how you workout. The body needs time to rebuild after a tough workout.

[Deleted]

Feb 13, 2014 10:37:06 GMT -5 lauren170 said:

It's the quality of the workout and not the quantity when you want to make performance gains. For just pure weightloss quantity works - but after a certain point you have to change how you workout. The body needs time to rebuild after a tough workout.

I've spent so much time in weightloss mode, I'm having a hard time turning that off - primarily because there's still weight I can lose.

[spunkypenguin]

You just gotta do what's right for you. I have faced the same dilemma before. I'm sure they would rather you scale back now that be gone for weeks or longer because you are injured!

[lauren170]

Feb 13, 2014 10:40:49 GMT -5 @sessalee said:

Feb 13, 2014 10:37:06 GMT -5 lauren170 said:

It's the quality of the workout and not the quantity when you want to make performance gains. For just pure weightloss quantity works - but after a certain point you have to change how you workout. The body needs time to rebuild after a tough workout.

I've spent so much time in weightloss mode, I'm having a hard time turning that off - primarily because there's still weight I can lose.

Right there with you. I was never able to fully break weightloss mode either. I had performance goals at Crossfit but in the back of my head, I was doing it to lose those last 10lbs. But seriously - dont let those last few pounds get in the way of life!

[emuni04]

You need to do you. You have a lot on your plate. It's tough to "break up" with a trainer - even just temporarily - but you can't worry about hurting others feelings at the expense of your physical health.

[Deleted]

I texted him and he's acting like a baby, trying to justify it over the strength training classes.

But it's done.

[sadlebred]

I'd ditch the kickboxing for now. Maybe take the strength training down to once a week. At some point you just get too tired.

[Deleted]

Feb 13, 2014 11:07:43 GMT -5 sadlebred said:

I'd ditch the kickboxing for now. Maybe take the strength training down to once a week. At some point you just get too tired.

The M/W strength workouts go hand-in-hand. They're 30 minutes and you hit the entire body between the 2 workouts.

I'll probably ditch the optional Friday one for good.

[sitnspin]

Coming from the trainer's side, he shouldn't be offended or take it personally.  One thing that makes the transition better is a good explanation and if you can pop in once in a while, or add it back when you are done with your other training.

[gt7301b]

I think it's time to move on, you've progressed so much as an athlete and I think kickboxing no longer fits your goals as an athlete. Your kickboxing instructor needs to understand this and deal with it.

[runaways]

Just to throw in my 2c here - if he really considers himself a friend, he needs to get the fuck over himself and respect the fact that you get to set your priorities, your goals, and the manner in which you achieve them. The fact that he's being pissy because you quit his class actually has me really fired up for you. That's ridiculous.

[Deleted]

Feb 13, 2014 11:54:16 GMT -5 sitnspin said:

Coming from the trainer's side, he shouldn't be offended or take it personally.  One thing that makes the transition better is a good explanation and if you can pop in once in a while, or add it back when you are done with your other training.

This is kind of what I said. I'll stop in, and there's a huge social factor.

But I'm sad. It's the one thing I truly felt like I had mastered.

[Deleted]

Feb 13, 2014 14:14:13 GMT -5 runaways said:

Just to throw in my 2c here - if he really considers himself a friend, he needs to get the fuck over himself and respect the fact that you get to set your priorities, your goals, and the manner in which you achieve them. The fact that he's being pissy because you quit his class actually has me really fired up for you. That's ridiculous.

He's well-meaning, but yeah his reaction was a bit... emotional. He apologized later in the conversation but I'm glad I'm out. 

I have to go tonight to talk to my partner in class. I'll probably do abs in the beginning with them and bail. 

[Deleted]

Feb 13, 2014 12:31:17 GMT -5 gt7301b said:

I think it's time to move on, you've progressed so much as an athlete and I think kickboxing no longer fits your goals as an athlete. Your kickboxing instructor needs to understand this and deal with it.

It's heartbreaking. Nothing has changed me as much as this class has. But you're absolutely right.

[Deleted]

Update: I went to class tonight to tell a few of my friends in person I was taking a break. I took it easy and joined them for abs and a demo. At the end of class my trainer had me come up front to thank me for my years or dedication and support. So that was nice, and made up for him acting cranky earlier.

I'll miss it, but I know it's the right call. Thanks everyone for your input and confirming my crazy.

[agswife]

I'm very good friends with my bootcamp teacher. However, he knows that when I'm training for a race, I stop coming to class (bc class is the day after my long run and my legs just can't handle it bc then I can't run the day after bootcamp and it messes up my entire schedule.) I always go back. He understands I have multiple favorite activities.