Dear Co-Worker:

[ejpint]

I would appreciate it if you would stop treating your "cube" like some kind of soundproof fortress of solitude.

Although there are multiple desks and a wall between us, I frequently hear you:
-yelling at your spouse over the phone (I feel sorry for your husband)
-blowing your nose so loudly you were beckoning geese to the window
-apparently counting out an entire glass jar of change
-belching in a way that would put most 12 year old boys to shame
-using a blender (a blender!)
-making toast

Today, I have heard you audibly fart no less than nine times. I don't know what you're eating, but I'm concerned for you. Perhaps it's time to ease off the smoothies you are apparently making at your desk, as they seem to not agree with you.

Okay, thanks!
xoxo,
EJ

Feel free to share your own "Dear Co-worker".

[UMaineTeach]

haha

[buzzy]

I'm cracking up! I have a coworker who talks to her bill collectors all day. HELLO, take your calls away from your desk.

[CallingAllAngels]

I LOLed at the blender. Hilarious

[zeewifeandmama]

I literally just giggled reading this! I'm sorry OP

[cowboyjoe]

Every time I see a message like this I have to open it to make sure it's not a coworker complaining about me.

This one definitely isn't about me.

[The Impossible Girl]

May 14, 2012 19:31:13 GMT -5 cowboyjoe said:

Every time I see a message like this I have to open it to make sure it's not a coworker complaining about me.

This one definitely isn't about me.

I'm the same way...even though it's very illogical at the current time since I'm not working again until the end of the month.

[agnes]

I have multiple co-workers that do all of this stuff.

Fun times.

[MadamePresident]

I've seen people do strange stuff at work, but a blender at their cube is crazy. We do have a lady who will sometimes make smoothies in the kitchen area with a mini blender, but that's the kitchen.

[FishChicks]

I'll add mine:

Dear Coworker,

Your constant farting was bad, but you seem to eat nothing but McDonalds, so we weren't surprised and just ignored it. However, I believe you crossed a line when the client on my conference call was able to hear your snoring today. For the love of Pete, please see a doctor about your health and get some damn sleep outside of the office!

In the cubicle next to you,
FishChicks

[Deleted]

Huh. I guess I never considered a blender to be a desktop appliance.

[Deleted]

May 14, 2012 15:53:39 GMT -5 ejpint said:

I would appreciate it if you would stop treating your "cube" like some kind of soundproof fortress of solitude.

Although there are multiple desks and a wall between us, I frequently hear you:
-yelling at your spouse over the phone (I feel sorry for your husband)
-blowing your nose so loudly you were beckoning geese to the window
-apparently counting out an entire glass jar of change
-belching in a way that would put most 12 year old boys to shame
-using a blender (a blender!)
-making toast

Today, I have heard you audibly fart no less than nine times. I don't know what you're eating, but I'm concerned for you. Perhaps it's time to ease off the smoothies you are apparently making at your desk, as they seem to not agree with you.

Okay, thanks!
xoxo,
EJ

Feel free to share your own "Dear Co-worker".

Dying laughing. The blender?!?!?!?

[flamingeaux]

I'll play.

Dear Supervisor,

I'm truly concerned about your ability to effectively manage our department, as you have seem to have little, to no concept of resource management. If you are so desperate for money that you continually take out payday loans from an internet company, perhaps you should not be going on cruises to Mexico, or buying your wife diamond earrings. Also having your mom pay your cell phone bill, is almost as ridiculous as the fact that you told me your mom pays your cell phone bill.

Yours Truly,
Flamingeaux

[penguinsidecar]

although i've never done it, I will admit that I have really wanted to blend things in the office before...but professionalism has always stopped me.

[ecupirate04]

May 14, 2012 15:53:39 GMT -5 ejpint said:

I would appreciate it if you would stop treating your "cube" like some kind of soundproof fortress of solitude.

Although there are multiple desks and a wall between us, I frequently hear you:
-yelling at your spouse over the phone (I feel sorry for your husband)
-blowing your nose so loudly you were beckoning geese to the window
-apparently counting out an entire glass jar of change
-belching in a way that would put most 12 year old boys to shame
-using a blender (a blender!)
-making toast

Today, I have heard you audibly fart no less than nine times. I don't know what you're eating, but I'm concerned for you. Perhaps it's time to ease off the smoothies you are apparently making at your desk, as they seem to not agree with you.

Okay, thanks!
xoxo,
EJ

Feel free to share your own "Dear Co-worker".

You win.

[juris11]

What is she making in the blender?!?! I might give her a pass on those things if it were margaritas and she shared.

[ejpint]

May 15, 2012 8:00:41 GMT -5 juris11 said:

What is she making in the blender?!?! I might give her a pass on those things if it were margaritas and she shared.

The first time she used the blender was a few weeks ago, randomly at 10am. Apparently she really needed a smoothie. Were she to make and share margaritas, all of her other behavior would be excused.

[Deleted]

Wowsers...

[whitepicketfence]

LOL @ the blender.

[busybodyk]

I don't know why but counting change loudly is what made me lose it! That is hilarious to me!

[dvlish]

lol, awesome!