This is probably a silly question

[Velar Fricative]

If it's been less than 1.5 hours since she last ate during the day (she usually eats every 2 hours) or anytime in the MOTN, we give the pacifier first. She'll spit it out if she's hungry.

[rex]

when L used one I would offer it first if it had been less than 2 hours since she ate. if she was hungry she would suck on the pacifier like crazy as if food was coming out and then would get angry.

[sporklemotion]

Recently, E has started getting fussy after nursing for a while. Usually, this means she's tired and wants to suck on something. In these cases, I use the pacifier.
She also gets upset when the pacifier falls out, but I think that's because she's not great at holding it, not because she expects milk.
Probably flammable, but I'll give her the boob instead of the pacifier when I don't feel like fighting to keep it in. She likes to use me as a pacifier because it's easier for her to stay in position. If I get tired of this, I'll push the pacifier.
I can also tell she's hungry if her eyes stay open as she nurses. If she just wants to suck on something, her eyes start to close right away.
Sorry my response is so disorganized... I have more thoughts on this than I'd thought!

[MadamePresident]

I never really used the pacifier, so when Nods was fussy, I'd try rocking or bouncing a bit. If that didn't work, I'd go straight to nursing. Sometimes, I think this has made me a lazy parent.

[DarcyLongfellow]

My default answer to any crying is to stick a boob in the kid's mouth.

If that doesn't work, I try something else :-)

DD2 would get pissed that milk would come out when she wasn't hungry, so when that happened I'd give her a paci. DD1 was always happy to comfort nurse and got angry when we put a paci in her mouth, so she nursed all the time.

[Deleted]

I just nurse.

[Birdie]

Thats tough mekia. I haven't had this baby yet, so I can't really help

I did kind of want to know how you know when he cries if you're in another room, but I didn't know how to ask. So I'll just ask. I assume from a monitor with lights that come on with noise?

[countthestars]

If it makes you feel better, I am hearing and can't tell if she is swallowing. I usually gave her the paci and if she spit it out I would nurse unless it had been 2+ hours, then I would just nurse.

[Birdie]

Oh that's cool!

I've been doing a little reading about how to handle a newborn and everything I've read so far is to just make them happy for now and deal with the consequences later lol. E is still pretty tiny, so you have a lot of time to break any "bad habits".

[sporklemotion]

Feb 17, 2014 17:33:57 GMT -5 mekiakoo said:

I'm just kind of frustrated that I can't seem to tell if he's swallowing or not because I am deaf and can't hear him.

So I'm often trying to look for other signs that he's just using my boob as a pacifier. But I'm never sure.

I'm not deaf, but I can't really tell either-- I know what to listen for, but I don't hear it.  I just assume she is, and she is gaining weight and messing up lots of diapers.
I am relieved to see that other people just nurse because it's easier.  I am not proud that I do this.

[vmars]

I try the paci first unless it's been 1.5-2 hrs between feedings then I give the boob. Also at night we try and give the paci to try and get more sleep. DS is growing really well so pedi is not worried about him not getting enough milk, etc. I can usually tell if he is swallowing if I put my hand under his chin - it will move back and forth when he's swallowing and he will have a stronger suck.

[stealthmom]

Feb 17, 2014 17:33:57 GMT -5 mekiakoo said:

I'm just kind of frustrated that I can't seem to tell if he's swallowing or not because I am deaf and can't hear him.

So I'm often trying to look for other signs that he's just using my boob as a pacifier. But I'm never sure.

Look at his jaw to see how big it opens.  A big open jaw means eating.  Small jaw movements is more comfort sucking.

also try to notice how it feels to you.  Comfort sucking should feel different than eating.

[undecidedowl]

Feb 17, 2014 17:33:57 GMT -5 mekiakoo said:

I'm just kind of frustrated that I can't seem to tell if he's swallowing or not because I am deaf and can't hear him.

So I'm often trying to look for other signs that he's just using my boob as a pacifier. But I'm never sure.

Aw, that's tough.  The best indicator for DS is the speed of his sucking.  My LC consultant told me to look at his chin and just under.  Watch when you are pretty sure he is getting milk and the sucking should be slower with bigger motions since he is actually drawing milk out.  Comfort sucking is quicker with little chin motions.  

I think at that age you are safe just nursing every time.  And if you don't want to then trying a paci first works.  Once DS got into more of a rhythm I would go by the time to guess whether he was hungry or not. 

[Jalapeñomel]

To me, I can feel the difference, but I didn't start to really feel the difference until about 8 weeks in.

But when in doubt, I default to the boob.

[mdana]

I offered a pacifier first if he'd eaten recently. If he was hungry, he spit it out and I would nurse/feed him. Now that he's older, I can tell the difference between comfort sucking and eating (and he also generally won't take a pacifier either). I second stealthmom's suggestion re: watching his jaw- once I learned what to look for it was easier to figure out what he was doing.

[hymen]

Well, I was the pacifier. DS didn't ever take one. We would try other means of soothing but it almost always ended up with me offering the boob. He did a lot of comfort sucking, which was sometimes annoying, but for the most part I didn't mind.

[mae141]

Feb 17, 2014 17:33:57 GMT -5 mekiakoo said:

I'm just kind of frustrated that I can't seem to tell if he's swallowing or not because I am deaf and can't hear him.

So I'm often trying to look for other signs that he's just using my boob as a pacifier. But I'm never sure.

When DD swallows there's a pause when her jaw is open. Usually swallows are a slower suck like others have said. 

If DD is hungry when I give her a pacifier she won't take it she'll just keep screaming. 

[Deleted]

Feb 17, 2014 17:33:57 GMT -5 mekiakoo said:

I'm just kind of frustrated that I can't seem to tell if he's swallowing or not because I am deaf and can't hear him.

So I'm often trying to look for other signs that he's just using my boob as a pacifier. But I'm never sure.

I never know if DS is swallowing, so don't worry about that. You can sometimes see it if you watch his throat. I found it hard when they were tiny though.

How old is your DS? If he's under 3 months I would just feed him (or offer) and not worry about it. DS had no schedule that early.

[drink227]

There are videos on dr newmans website that show what swallowing looks like. That might help you see the difference.

I usually give the boob unless she just nursed or she looks tired. If she actually wants more she'll spit the paci out. I try not to give it a lot though.