help me re: menfolk related

[Saint Monica]

would you be okay dating someone with 3 duis who has been sober for 8+years?

[snipsnsnails]

Yes.

[stinkyfeet]

Yes

[EmilieMadison]

Maybe.

[luckyval]

No.

[janiejones]

I don't know.

What feeling do you get from the person? Good vibes or bad?

[hisno1girl]

No but because I like to drink, not because he is an alcoholic.

[wambam]

Yes

[SKP82]

No.

[blueballoon]

Yes

[bab]

no

[rex]

no.

[VeryViolet]

Feb 18, 2014 20:35:59 GMT -5 hisno1girl said:

No but because I like to drink, not because he is an alcoholic.

I started typing a novel and sounded like an asshole. This conveys what I was trying to. Also, my friends like to drink and I don't want to step back from my social circle for a guy I maybe like.

[Gato]

No. People fall off the wagon.

[BaliHai]

No.

[luckyval]

Feb 18, 2014 20:35:59 GMT -5 hisno1girl said:

No but because I like to drink, not because he is an alcoholic.

This is the primary reason I said no.

I clearly have my priorities in check.

[Deleted]

No, because I like to drink.

[AmeliaBedelia]

No.

[underwaterrhymes]

Pretty much what Que? said.

[Deleted]

Maybe. Only because the people I know with 3 DUIs (yes, there are several) can't drive and though they can get their license back after a period of time they can't register a car in our state.

I wouldn't be okay with having to drive everywhere all the time.

[speckledfrog]

Feb 18, 2014 20:38:34 GMT -5 Gato said:

No. People fall off the wagon.

8 years in it seems like he's got his coping mechanisms in place.  I'm sure there are people who start drinking after that length of time, but I'd be the statistics on staying sober after such time are pretty good.

I'd be inclined towards yes.


ETA:  I'll add that my views are completely colored by the fact that my dad is a recovering alcohol (20+ years) and is a  pretty awesome guy.  To write him off because of DUI convictions (I dont' know how many he has, but he definitely has them) would really be selling him short.  Also because of flexie who has a similar length of sobriety and seems pretty kick ass.

[jane6672]

Feb 18, 2014 20:42:31 GMT -5 @astrid said:

Isn't he one DUI from a felony?

In my state, 3 is is a felony.

[Deleted]

Feb 18, 2014 20:42:31 GMT -5 @astrid said:

Isn't he one DUI from a felony?

It may vary by state but here (Michigan) three is a felony.

[lissaholly]

At what age did he acquire he DUIs? We're they close together or really spread out?

I probably would not even consider him if this wa learned shortly after meeting him, but if it was someone I knew well before knowing his past and it happened when he was very young and over a short period of time maybe. Ongoing adult instances- no.

[MWOS]

well, hopefully we don't have any recovering alcoholics here because I'd hate for them to read some of these replies. They aren't "quality"?? Jesus.

[TC]

In your circumstances, as someone who is trying to get on their relationship feet and is still in the process of figuring out what you need in a healthy relationship (I mean that kindly, that is the impression I've gotten from your recent posts), no.

If I felt confident in my ability to navigate the potential red flags and it was the right kind of guy/circumstances behind his past, yes.

[daisybuchannan]

No. Previous relationship with an alcoholic has strongly colored my viewpoint.

[Jalapeñomel]

Feb 18, 2014 20:49:13 GMT -5 MWOS said:

well, hopefully we don't have any recovering alcoholics here because I'd hate for them to read some of these replies. They aren't "quality"?? Jesus.

And we do have recovering alcoholics on this board. 

[marylennox]

Yes.

[papie]

Feb 18, 2014 20:37:10 GMT -5 @astrid said:

Feb 18, 2014 20:35:59 GMT -5 hisno1girl said:

No but because I like to drink, not because he is an alcoholic.

Good point. Do you want to live booze free?

That would be the biggest thing for me. I would not be able to live without my regular shared red wine bottles. My brother has been sober for about 10 years and he HATES it so much when SIL drinks, I feel bad for her.