f/u to nanny driving

[ijack]

If I'm going to ask her to start driving the girls with our car what kind of timeline do I give her for practicing her skills? Do I give her some kind of test before she's allowed to drive them?

[pierogigirl]

Yikes! I don't know that I could let a new driver drive my kids. Sorry, I know that is not what you want to hear. Admittedly, I am overly cautious about everything and DH and I are the only people to have driven the kids.

[dr.girlfriend]

I don't know that I ever got a sense of her driving history. Did she drive regularly in the past, and then make a lifestyle choice to get rid of her car? Has she never been a regular driver? Given that you felt okay with her taking the kids on the bike along the roads, I'm guessing they are pretty small roads near you to the usual hangouts, so I would be okay after driving with her for a bit just to make sure she is an okay driver. But, DH never learned to drive until a few years ago, and I still am not comfortable with him driving DS on the highway.

[hannamarin]

I think if the state licenses her, you cant really complain. (i would want to as well, fwiw)
How will she practice (both to get licenced and for you) does she have a car?
Are you already back full time? Maybe you can drive with her and the kids for a few trips? It is harder to drive with kids in the back, the seats vlock your view sometimes

[ijack]

I haven't gotten all the details (but will), but I believe she just stopped driving when she lived in Chicago and continued the bike riding when she got here (it's been 6 years total). She can get anywhere on non-highways.
I've been back to work FT for 3 weeks.

[pierogigirl]

Jul 8, 2012 20:02:58 GMT -5 ijack said:

I haven't gotten all the details (but will), but I believe she just stopped driving when she lived in Chicago and continued the bike riding when she got here (it's been 6 years total). She can get anywhere on non-highways.
I've been back to work FT for 3 weeks.

I didn't realize she used to drive. If it's local/non-highway I'd still be nervous, but might let her drive them if I had driven with her and felt comfortable.

[dr.girlfriend]

As long as she's had a pretty extensive history of driving in the past, I wouldn't worry too much about her being rusty. I got rid of my car for four years or so when I lived in the city. I used a CarShare program, but not that much. Once I started driving regularly again, it was like the gap had never happened.

[Roc A Bee]

How old is she?

[livinitup]

I was a P/T nanny in college and my primary responsibility was picking-up one child from a private school, and driving another to ballet practice. Both children where school age, so I was needed to supervise and drive them around until dinner when both parents came home from work. I was 20. The dad tested my driving skills once.

It never occured to me that this was weird or out of the norm. I knew how to drive, I drove their car and the kids got to go where they needed to go.

Get consent to review her driving record, witness her driving skills a few times. Put a waiver on your insurance. That's it.

[vanillacourage]

I want to know about the turkey baster.

[ijack]

Jul 8, 2012 20:34:47 GMT -5 vanillacourage said:

I want to know about the turkey baster.

Based on my google searching I think it was *just* a syringe. I've tried not to ask too many questions because I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to keep the judgement off my face.

[Deleted]

If she used to drive, I'd just make sure she passes the state test and she's probably fine. I haven't ever taken 6 years off of driving, but I imagine it is one of those things you need very little practice to remember how to do if you used to do it all the time. Like riding a bike, KWIM?

I don't recall if I mentioned this in another thread, but could you pay for her to go to a driving school? I don't think they are that expensive - maybe a few hundred bucks?

[vanillacourage]

Wait, for real? Where did she get the sperm?

I rescind my eyebrow-raising at you firing her while pregnant.

[ijack]

A free online donor registry

[Roc A Bee]

Jul 8, 2012 21:00:30 GMT -5 ijack said:

A free online donor registry

That was very pc of you.

[Deleted]

Does she have a driver's license?

Honestly, I'd tell her it's not going to work out and hire a new nanny (after talking to an atty if you think you need to). I'd feel differently if you were saying you otherwise loved her/your girls loved her, but you're not. (DD is super attached to our nanny. I would - generally speaking - do whatever we needed to to keep her.)

[SusanBAnthony]

Ditto. Find a new nanny. This is crazy.

[ijack]

For the most part we really do love her. She's an awesome combo of strict and fun and is a wonderful help around the house. The girls love her and I did too until all this crap went down. Now I can't help wondering WTF she was thinking and am a little pissed at some of the assumptions she's made. I also feel a sense of responsibility because she pg and doesn't have any family around and we're her livelihood. I know it's not my responsibility and I don't need to take that into account, but it's hard not to.

[thedutchgirl]

Let her practice with the car for a weekend without you. Then go for a ride with her to see how she does. If it is ok, then let her drive the kids.

I think you need to tread carefully if you want to fire her, including talking to a lawyer. If you wouldn't have fired her if she didn't get pregnant, you need to be very, very careful.

[ijack]

Jul 8, 2012 21:31:32 GMT -5 thedutchgirl said:

Let her practice with the car for a weekend without you. Then go for a ride with her to see how she does. If it is ok, then let her drive the kids.

I think you need to tread carefully if you want to fire her, including talking to a lawyer. If you wouldn't have fired her if she didn't get pregnant, you need to be very, very careful.

It has nothing to do with her being pg, it has to do with her not being able to drive.

[Deleted]

What assumptions has she made?

How hard is it to find a good nanny in your area? I think it's always hard - but even harder in some areas. If there are a lot of good nannies looking for jobs, I'd start looking.

That said, I agree - I'd really have a hard time letting a pregnant nanny go b/c she may have a hard time finding a job (although an easier time now than once she's showing). If you keep her, what will you do when she's on maternity leave?

[thedutchgirl]

I guess I'm reading between the lines as the driving thing came up as the same time as the pregnancy. I apologize if I shouldn't be making that inference.

[RobotLegs]

Does she still have a valid license?

[slug*bug]

Jul 8, 2012 20:43:59 GMT -5 @songforyou said:

Hold up, hold up, hold up. Now she may not even remember how to drive?! I thought she just didn't have a car. Why, ijack, why are you tormenting me by not firing this woman already lol?

lol...I wish I had some constructive advice, truly I do, but songforyou pretty much took the words out of my mouth.

[ijack]

Jul 8, 2012 21:42:55 GMT -5 thedutchgirl said:

I guess I'm reading between the lines as the driving thing came up as the same time as the pregnancy. I apologize if I shouldn't be making that inference.

You're not the only one. She told us she was pg my first week back to work FT and its me being back FT that has made us realize we need someone who can drive. It's crappy timing.
As for assumptions - she's basically said her plan is to bring the baby with her to work. Which I'm not necessarily against, but I'm annoyed she just assumed that.

[RobotLegs]

I don't think I would be ok with my nanny bringing their newborn to work. Babies are all-consuming the first few months of their lives, and I really wouldn't be confident she'd give MY kids the attention they deserve during that time.

That's a really, really huge assumption. In what other job would you expect to be able to bring your kid to work? Geez, her critical thinking skills worry me all around.

[thedutchgirl]

Ahh, ok so the timing is the same but it makes sense why. And I would be very annoyed she assumed she can bring her child with her. (Although I do think that's common with nannying, isn't it?)

[vanillacourage]

Tell her she can't bring her baby with her to work. She may bug out on her own.

[ijack]

Jul 8, 2012 22:08:37 GMT -5 @littlemoxie said:

Lurker here... You seem to be looking for new issues at this point. Fire her and get it over with.

You've been given lots of good advice on the car issue and now you're worried she may be rusty (I went from 2005 to 2010 without driving and when I started again it was fine, I think this is pretty normal and your fear is blown out of proportion)... She pissed you off, but you don't want to seem petty by firing her for that so you continue to think up new problems.

Tell her the truth and both of you can move on.

She was the one who mentioned that she would need to practice before she felt comfortable driving children. I've never taken an extended break from driving so I honestly didn't know what was needed.

[shopgirl07]

I've been reading your posts and I think you just need to let her go.

She's not the right fit for you and that's ok. Let her know that since you've gone back to work full-time your requirements have changed and leave it at that. And don't feel responsible for a second for her poor life choices. I own a business where I employ a lot of women and many of them make piss poor choices with multiple children involved. If I worried about how each one of them was going to live, I'd be bankrupt and out of business.