??? re:funeral etiquette

[cgpm]

So I'm a first year teacher and my boss's dad just passed away. There was a wake today that I could have attended but didn't because DH and I carpool and we would have needed to wait an hour for the wake to start just to go. The funeral is tomorrow am and the principal has some subs to cover people who want to go. Some of the veteran teachers are going.

I'm new to the whole etiquette of funerals and wakes. No one close to me has passed away and my parents never really made me go to funerals of great-aunts and such. I offered to help cover classes during my lunch tomorrow and I contributed to the group gift and signed the card from the department.

Am I doing enough? Some of the other teachers are making me feel a little guilty. I'm really not trying to be a jerk I just feel like I never know what I need to do in these situations. My boss is super nice, but I also don't really know her all that well.

Make me feel better about this!

[MixedBerryJam]

This place is funeral central today! Are there enough subs that you could go tomorrow without inconveniencing your coworkers? If so, I think I'd go. But it would definitely not be a big deal not to go.

Whether you attend the funeral or not, I would be sure to send a card and note of condolence to your principal's home.

[DarcyLongfellow]

Back when I worked, if one of the partners I worked with a lot had lost a parent and the funeral was local, I would have gone if I didn't have a court date or something.

But it seems to me like a school would be a different situation. You couldn't all go, correct? Because there would be no one to teach the classes?

In my experience, it's not like your boss would be really paying a lot of attention to who is there and who is not. On the other hand, many people do get a lot of comfort from seeing people they know at the funeral.

If you feel the need to do more (and if you're the ONLY teacher who didn't go to either the wake or the funeral, then I think you fall into this category), then I think sending a personal condolence card to your boss would be appropriate.

[jenny1223]

Weird. I would never consider going to the funeral or wake of my boss's dad unless I knew him personally.

[cgpm]

May 14, 2012 17:07:28 GMT -5 jenny1223 said:

Weird. I would never consider going to the funeral or wake of my boss's dad unless I knew him personally.

Well, there's that. And I don't feel right missing work for it either. I guess I figured if I were in her shoes it wouldn't bother me if my coworkers didn't come.

I was planning on sending a personal card as well. Thanks for making me feel less weird. My coworkers just drive me a little batty.

[hannamarin]

Yeah, would have been good to go to the funeral home. But thats done. Send a personal card and flowers or a pie.