Post by marylennox on Feb 24, 2014 17:57:16 GMT -5
You lose a favorite item of clothing. Months go by and you can't find it anywhere. You are sad.
You get together with a friend and she appears to be wearing said item of clothing. You can't be 100% sure it's yours, but there is a very good chance you could have left it at her house as you spend a lot of time there.
Post by birdistheword on Feb 24, 2014 18:02:14 GMT -5
If it was a good friend I would definitely say something. I wouldn't be accusatory, I would just say something like "hey! Is that my shirt? Did I leave it at your house?" If it is yours, and she's not a douche, she will likely be like "oh yeah! This is yours! I will wash it and give it back to you!"
Post by RoxMonster on Feb 24, 2014 18:05:17 GMT -5
I agree with saying something but not accusing her. I would probably say, "Hey, I like your sweater! I actually owned that very same sweater but I can't find it for the life of me." Then see how she reacts. If she is non-committal or brushes it aside, I wouldn't push it.
Post by EmilieMadison on Feb 24, 2014 18:05:42 GMT -5
I had a friend in HS accuse me of stealing a shirt (and then wear it to school in front of her?!?). It was horrible. I would never steal something and it was so hurtful to be accused of something like that. But had the friend said something like "Oh, I've been looking for my shirt like that! Did I lend it to you? I can't remember!" it would've been cleared up easily without a fallout. She eventually did find HER shirt in HER closet.
Could you ask if it's yours in a non-accusatory way? That's probably the best way to find out.
Post by VeryViolet on Feb 24, 2014 19:42:36 GMT -5
If it was a good friend I would say something. Not all "bitch you took my shirt" but nicely or really probably funny. This actually happened with a friend she showed up to my house in my sunglasses. I just asked if they were mine and she said she had just found them one day with her sunglasses, we assumed her husband put them away. She gave them back and we laughed.
FTR I didn't say anything and probably won't. For some reason I think it would feel awkward to ask regardless of the answer.
Next time you see talk to her I would mention that you can find your clothing and ask if you have left anything there recently. That way it won't put her on the spot WHILE she is wearing said clothing.
ETA: I have a lot of clothing so it is quite possible that I would see something and be like 'oh, this is cute. I don't remember buying it' and put it on. If she is a close friend I don't think it would hurt to ask.
Post by daisybuchannan on Feb 24, 2014 19:49:11 GMT -5
My best girlfriends and I all lived together for years, and there was a lot of clothing sharing. We would have no issue with asking if something was a borrowed item.
If it was a really good friend I would probably say something, but in a lighthearted way, not in a way that sounded like you were accusing them of something. She probably doesn't even realize.
I had this happen to me. I 1000% knew it had to be mine because I lent it to her and it was a one only type shirt that I found at Ross or somewhere like that. The bitch denied it. I didn't want to be friends with her after that. WHO DOES THAT? Hopefully you get your shirt back.
FTR I didn't say anything and probably won't. For some reason I think it would feel awkward to ask regardless of the answer.
Next time you see talk to her I would mention that you can find your clothing and ask if you have left anything there recently. That way it won't put her on the spot WHILE she is wearing said clothing.
ETA: I have a lot of clothing so it is quite possible that I would see something and be like 'oh, this is cute. I don't remember buying it' and put it on. If she is a close friend I don't think it would hurt to ask.
This is a good idea but the problem is I lost it pretty long ago, and this is the first time I've noticed her wearing it. So i feel like I missed the window of being able to ask if I left something there.
If anything I would probably just do the "I really like that, where did you get it?" next time she wears it. But i probably won't, knowing myself.
It's not something that cost a lot, just something I really liked and wore a lot. Plus I could be wrong and maybe it's not even mine. But I think it is. Lol
A really, really good friend? I'd mention it. Maybe something like "I used to have a shirt like that but lost it. I'd love to get another one; where'd you buy it?" It gives her the chance to give it back or not.
This reminds me of my favorite madras drawstring waist shorts.
I made them years ago; they were a deep pink, I matched the plaid at all seams. They were freakin' awesome; all soft and broken in. I lent them to my sister, along with a couple other summery items, after she had her younger DD and she wasn't able to get into her regular clothes at first. I'm about a size bigger than she is. By Halloween she was back in her regular stuff and she returned them to me. Next spring I can't find the pink madras shorts and ask if she still has them- guessing with a new baby maybe she didn't notice she hadn't returned them with the other stuff. She looks all over and comes up empty. I'm sorta pissed because I really loved them but it was my fault for lending them out.
Fast forward a couple years and my sister and her idiot DH are separated. I ran into him at a dance recital for my older niece and lo, there were my pink shorts. My idiot BIL had taken them and was wearing them with a polo with the collar popped. I wanted them back, but then thought about his hairy ass wearing them and decided to just make a scene and then donate them.
Is this a really good friend? If so, I think a funny "Dude! Is that my shirt?" is fine.
Not ok is when you can't find your aunts vintage high school shirt she let you borrow for a special occasion, make announcements about needing it back, how important/special it is, then seeing pictures of your "BFF" wearing it over a year later. Yeah. Got the shirt back, ditched the friend.