Mr. Pom and I lived apart quite a bit the first 7 years of marriage due to his job. Sometimes a week, sometimes a month. While this is nothing compared to the seperations that military families go through, it did suck. He moved up the career ladder and he has been home every night except for 4 nights in 9 months. We would be hard pressed to go back to our old life. We love being together, but I can understand why others might like a little "me time."
I don't think it's a question of "when." If you have never felt that way maybe you never will. It's more of a personality thing.
I'm very much an introvert. I like time by myself to just chill and recharge. There are lots of days I enjoy being by myself so it's nice when DH is out of town, but I don't think that means my marriage is in trouble or anything. I'm not tired of him & it's not like I would rather be anyone else. I just like to be alone.
When my husband was unemployed and around the house All. The. Time. I couldn't WAIT for him to leave so I could just be alone and watch whatever I wanted and eat whatever I wanted, etc. Even then I wanted him to come home after 24 hours. Now that he works all the time I just miss him constantly. I would like a normal middle ground, please!
My DH travels a lot. Before kids it was nice to have alone time but also DH wanted to stay home a lot on the weekends which got on my nerves-he is definitely a homebody. Now that we have kids I hate it. He just left today-Thur so I will be on my own at night Feeding and putting triplets to bed by myself can really suck sometimes. Luckily we just relocated for his job and he has not had to travel as much and won't a lot once winter starts since the weather tends to be bad in the region he is in charge of.
I don't care for him to be gone overnight, but adapted quickly when he was gone 2 nights a week. I do enjoy him being out for the evening. He's now back at being home every night, and I slightly wish he wasn't.
I can eat whatever crap I want and watch bad tv/movies without his comments. I don't have to worry about getting home and getting dinner on the table etc. I can go with my own schedule instead of him coming in and saying he's hungry as soon as he gets in the door. The dog also cuddles more when he's gone =0)
We also spent more quality time together when he was gone 2 nights. We'd miss each other and break the rut of going off to do our own things after dinner. I felt less like we were roommates and more like we were married again.
Recently, when he says "I'll take DS out for a couple hours tomorrow to give you a break", haha
Otherwise, I really prefer when he's home (pre and post baby)
This is exactly what I was going to say! If he takes my son with him for a few hours, the time he's away is usually pure heaven. Otherwise I prefer him to be around because I enjoy spending time with him and don't have much I look to do that he doesn't enjoy anyway.
we just had our 7 year anniversary. I love having him around- he's my best friend, and we genuinely have a great time just hanging out together. BUT... once in awhile, i do like a 'break" from him :-) when he goes away for work, or even when he goes out for a beer with some of his friends on Thursday nights. its just nice to have the house to myself for a little while and eat what I want for dinner, and not have to compromise about what i want to watch on TV... but only for a few nights, tops. if hes gone for a week I start to get antsy and want him home.
this is exactly how i feel. we're coming up on 7 years too, and while i miss him when he's gone even for one night, i like having my "me" time (if you can call it that when the bean is here with me).
Post by Velvetshady on Jul 9, 2012 11:57:13 GMT -5
We're different than most. We didn't meet until we were older and we are both very independent people that need alone time to recharge. I can't say either of us is "thrilled" when the other one is gone, but we both enjoy the time when it happens, we don't dread it.
I am the one who is usually doing the traveling, so unless he goes to my MIL's for the day to help her, he's always home. I am completely fine with that.
I have been married for 7 years. My DH does not travel for work, and I do miss him sometimes when he is gone, like when something funny happens and I want to tell him, or if there is a political event of note
During the school year, though, I am glad that I get home at 3 and he gets home at 5 because I can "decompress" and get a lot of work done. I need an hour of "me time" to grade, organize, and plan. When I don't have it, sometimes I am grumpy. I think a solution to this would be to walk together so that I can get out my energy...
I never look forward to DH being away overnight. I simply don't sleep as well in our bed so I usually end up on the couch with the dog. DH was away for 2 nights during the week about 2 weeks ago and it was hard coming home to an empty house, and having 100% of the house & pet responsibilities for those days. I am very thankful DH doesn't want to have a career like FIL, who traveled 4 nights a week, mostly across the country, leaving MIL essentially as a single parent Sunday-Thursday nights.
DH and I spend a lot of time together so any chance I get for "me" time I'm all over it.
He works from 6p-2:30a so if I'm off I get my alone time. I get the computer all to myself and can do whatever I want around the house without feeling guilty.
I do miss him a lot if we haven't seen much of each other if we are both working. I work nights as well. Sleeping during the day together just isn't the same as sleeping together at night.
DH took DS down to the Cape for the night on Sat and didn't come home til late on Sunday. I had to work Sat night but otherwise I had all day Sunday to myself--it was awesome, until like 5pm and then I was dying for both of them to come home
I enjoy our time apart, but I don't look forward to him leaving. I have every Friday off to do what I want, but honestly I'm glad when he comes home at the end of the day.
Those of you who say that you like being able to watch whatever you want on TV -- do you only have one TV?
My husband will often disappear to the bedroom to watch the TV in there when he doesn't like what I'm watching. And we both eat whatever we want when we eat at home anyway (we rarely eat the same dinner). So this could be why there aren't advantages to me of him being away.
Yeah, we only have 1 TV. It's not that he WON'T watch Criminal Minds with me, it's that he MAKES FUN OF IT the whole time. haha.
I love the "me" time that it gives me when DH is gone. If he is gone for more than a week, then I start to miss him. Under a week - no biggie. Considering we have been apart for more than a year at a time more than once due to the military, the short breaks are nice.