Aaaand TIP that I am trying to direct over here

[Muddled]

www.thenest.com/forums/life-boards_trouble-in-paradise_hello-long#item-latest

She cheated, but she wants to live up to her SN (happilymarried) once again.

[bowies]

Jesus, I feel like my XH could have written that. In the immortal words of Roger Sterling's first wife as she explained why he cheated and ran off with a younger woman, "it's not that I got old, it's that you did."

[partiallysunny]

I'm laughing at Betty's wall o' text.

[ECB]

Ugh. I HATE the new format. I responded w/ what was 2 paragraphs, and it's one big smooshed paragraph.

[wrathofkuus]

I feel kind of bad for her.

[Deleted]

May 15, 2012 8:40:26 GMT -5 ECB said:

Ugh. I HATE the new format. I responded w/ what was 2 paragraphs, and it's one big smooshed paragraph.

I hate that about the new format. You have to hit enter twice to actually get a space between paragraphs. DUMB.

[Muddled]

May 15, 2012 10:04:35 GMT -5 wrathofkuus said:

I feel kind of bad for her.

In what way?

[wrathofkuus]

Well, she didn't get to experience anything that might enable her to be someone other than who she was in high school. No college, no being single, nothing. And now she's stuck and feels like it's too late to figure any of it out, including what the difference is between Mr. Right and Mr. Not Too Obviously Wrong.

[Muddled]

All true, Kuus. Maybe I should feel sorry for her for all that. Instead I feel like she's made some really bad decisions and she needs to recognize that and move on.

[wrathofkuus]

I know I certainly wouldn't want to be stuck with choices I made as a teenager. And really, I suspect some microcultural influences. It's easy, being upper-middle class, to say that you should leave yourself open to life and growing and such in your late teens and early twenties, because we basically have an expectation of a prolonged adolescence to figure these things out. But if she comes from a blue-collar background, where college isn't just that thing everyone does after high school to get their minds expanded with exposure to a bunch of different people and philosophies... it's going to be kind of expected that who you were in high school is who you are, and what you wanted in high school is what you want, period. It's why Married with Children is so tragic, because Al is stuck in this life that he hates and doesn't want, and went into without question, and the only happiness he has is mentally reliving his glory days of having his future be bright and unwritten.

[Muddled]

You are a bleeding heart, Kuus.

I do agree with all of that and I did think about that. In fact, I believe in my response to her I tried to assure her that it was compltely normal to grow and to want to grow, even if her partner wasn't.

We should get her over here. Did she ever return to that thread?

[wrathofkuus]

I don't know. I wish she would come here. I feel for her.

[Muddled]

Ok, she has not come back.

And I totally didn't say the growing thing. Maybe that was to someone else? Now I'm all confused. There was someone that got married at 20 and is now 25, but that must be a different OP. Hmmmm...

We should post this link every time we post over there.