Well, that's just a tacky ass text ...

[eclaires]

Mar 4, 2014 12:39:46 GMT -5 iammalcolmx said:

NitaX I absolutely forbid you to send this bitch a damn gift.

Or send her book of etiquette.

[gpw]

I just don't understand asking people who were presumably *not* invited to your wedding if they might want to come if some of their "real" friends and family can't make it. Does.not.compute.

[teacup]

What would be the tackiest wedding gift? That is exactly what you should give to her. Plates from goodwill? Used hand towels? An open bottle of wine? SOMETHING.

[andrealynn]

Mar 4, 2014 12:52:58 GMT -5 teacup said:

What would be the tackiest wedding gift? That is exactly what you should give to her. Plates from goodwill? Used hand towels? An open bottle of wine? SOMETHING.

DH's grandparents gave us a used shredder. That didn't work. I suggest that.

[NitaX]

I just responded with:

"Actually, don't worry about us. We'll make it easy for you. You can take us off the list."

She responded with "Are you sure, I don't want anyone upset with us."

HEIFER YOU JUST ASKED TO PUT PEOPLE ON STANDBY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[FloFTW]

But "ARE YOU SURE" ?

[Velar Fricative]

Mar 4, 2014 12:37:00 GMT -5 eclaires said:

No no no no.

I'd be like, "bitch I'm busy. Forever. Which means I also won't have time to buy your ass a gift. TACKY ASS HO."

I would say that and then send thumbtacks and a hoe as my wedding gifts to her.

[Deleted]

Mar 4, 2014 12:49:14 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

OOO! Get her a spatula or measuring spoons.

Cheap and random.

Ugly tea towels from home goods. You know the tiny ones that are good for absolutely nothing? The kind where the pattern is painted on with the ugly fringe?

Do that.

Oooh or a coffee filter, the specialty kind that works in only one kind of coffee maker.

Vacuum belts

[eclaires]

Mar 4, 2014 12:53:55 GMT -5 NitaX said:

I just responded with:

"Actually, don't worry about us. We'll make it easy for you. You can take us off the list."

She responded with "Are you sure, I don't want anyone upset with us."

HEIFER YOU JUST ASKED TO PUT PEOPLE ON STANDBY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Well, bless your heart!  Of course I am sure!  I can only imagine how precious a wedding where you ask previously invited guests to be on standby will be, and I'm sure it's not for me."

[Deleted]

Mar 4, 2014 12:53:55 GMT -5 NitaX said:

I just responded with:

"Actually, don't worry about us. We'll make it easy for you. You can take us off the list."

She responded with "Are you sure, I don't want anyone upset with us."

HEIFER YOU JUST ASKED TO PUT PEOPLE ON STANDBY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[NitaX]

Chile, y'all #iCan't with this foolishness.

I sent back a text "Obviously, this whole thing is stressing you out. I figure this is easier than standby. Go on and finish planning."

You ain't getting no gift Boo.

[pixy0stix]

Mar 4, 2014 12:53:55 GMT -5 NitaX said:

I just responded with:

"Actually, don't worry about us. We'll make it easy for you. You can take us off the list."

She responded with "Are you sure, I don't want anyone upset with us."

HEIFER YOU JUST ASKED TO PUT PEOPLE ON STANDBY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now she's playing with fire.

[IIOY]

Mar 4, 2014 12:34:31 GMT -5 AJL said:

I used to be a wedding planner (two year stint in bride hell!) and the brides I had who tried to pull that shit got a very stern lecture and major shade thrown their way.

Wait - are you saying this is a thing? A thing??

[copzpartdeux]

I would text back that I'm not mad but relieved. HAGD!

[iammalcolmx]

Mar 4, 2014 12:53:55 GMT -5 NitaX said:

I just responded with:

"Actually, don't worry about us. We'll make it easy for you. You can take us off the list."

She responded with "Are you sure, I don't want anyone upset with us."

HEIFER YOU JUST ASKED TO PUT PEOPLE ON STANDBY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I actually have in my possession the WORST WEDDING GIFT EVER. BAMFMrsB  shall I sent NitaX " The Hands" to give as a gift?

[msmerymac]

If you WANT to go I would ignore the text and just show up as planned. If you don't care, I'd text her back and go out in a blaze of glory.

[msmerymac]

Mar 4, 2014 12:49:05 GMT -5 NitaX said:

@ororo Munroe

Nope. See, before she got engaged, she was always bemoaning being single. Her ass got engaged and immediately began planning for her wedding. She got a little sticker shock, but obviously not enough to pare down her list and get a real cost estimate on food. Now, she's concerned about seating at the venue.

This is why I did a destination wedding with a backyard party at my uncle's house. We were able to keep the guest list and cost pretty dang small. We changed our menu around to accommodate our budget. Everything went beautifully, and I never once worried about the number of invited guests.

Let me gone send this text back. My H all "well, just wait, maybe you'll calm down." Naw, this heifer done took me to my old I don't give a flying fuck self.

Don't venues tell you this? Mine told me what their capacity was for each room. And also it would be X per person with package A, Y per person with package B...

Even a VFW has a max capacity for fire code. And it's not hard to multiply the number of tables and chairs you need to rent by the number of people you are inviting and come up with a cost. 

ETA Actually, never mind. Some dumbass brides on TK always forgot to accommodate their band, planner, photographer, etc in their max number of people calculations. 

[NitaX]

Mar 4, 2014 13:04:35 GMT -5 msmerymac said:

If you WANT to go I would ignore the text and just show up as planned. If you don't care, I'd text her back and go out in a blaze of glory.

This is probably why I'm so pissed off. I did want to see her at her big day. Even for all my eye-rolling at her sappy ass FB posts, she's a nice person who deserves to have a super fantastic wedding.

But, no, I'm not going anywhere if you consider me to be a person you can say - oh NitaX won't mind. No. Because that's tacky and rude as fuck. She's now on my shit list.

[laurenpetro]

DO NOT REPLY WITH NO!!!! I FORBID IT!

you reply with: BUT I ALREADY BOUGHT A BRAND NEW DRESS!

do NOT give her the out she's asking for.



have i taught you people NOTHING of retribution??!?!?!?!!!??1

[cookiemdough]

lol @ we don't want anyone to be upset with us

[IIOY]

I like laurenpetro's approach.

I still can't believe this is a thing that more than one person had ever even considered, let alone done.

[KB]

Send her a ribbon wand Knot style.

[copzpartdeux]

I like that LP. Lay it on THICK new dress, there was that trip to Saks for the perfect gift, rented a hotel room for the night, sitter lined up and that small send off brunch for a few close friends.

Shucks. Yep. Take me off the list.

[NitaX]

Mar 4, 2014 13:09:45 GMT -5 laurenpetro said:

DO NOT REPLY WITH NO!!!! I FORBID IT!

you reply with: BUT I ALREADY BOUGHT A BRAND NEW DRESS!

do NOT give her the out she's asking for.



have i taught you people NOTHING of retribution??!?!?!?!!!??1

LOL.

Too late. Because I'm a salty bitch, and I don't take kindly to that shit.

She ain't getting a fucking gift.

[orangeblossom]

How do you get a month out from the wedding an not realize it's going to be costly.

I, mean, yeah, I was almost hyperventilating at the bank when I got the cashiers check for the caterer, but more so because old never taken that much money out of the bank at once vs. not having it.

Like others said, she won't have to worry about people on standby, because there will be a whole bunch of confirmed guests not showing up.

[NitaX]

Mar 4, 2014 13:11:25 GMT -5 IIOY said:

I like laurenpetro's approach.

I still can't believe this is a thing that more than one person had ever even considered, let alone done.

IKR.

Normally, you make the cuts in advance when you start planning. Not when yo' broke ass discover you ain't got two nickels to rub together to make this shit work.

[Velvetshady]

Mar 4, 2014 12:41:30 GMT -5 NitaX said:

Mar 4, 2014 12:38:50 GMT -5 andrealynn said:

Is it terrible of me to hope that this chick later asks why Nita didn't get her a gift? Because I can totally see that happening.

Which would TOTALLY happen. Why? Because she's my church member. I see her weekly.

Sorry, it's on back order.

[laurenpetro]

Mar 4, 2014 13:12:28 GMT -5 NitaX said:

Mar 4, 2014 13:09:45 GMT -5 laurenpetro said:

DO NOT REPLY WITH NO!!!! I FORBID IT!

you reply with: BUT I ALREADY BOUGHT A BRAND NEW DRESS!

do NOT give her the out she's asking for.



have i taught you people NOTHING of retribution??!?!?!?!!!??1

LOL.

Too late. Because I'm a salty bitch, and I don't take kindly to that shit.

She ain't getting a fucking gift.

that's what i get for putting G first and you ladies second.

next time i'll have my priorities straight

[NitaX]

Y'all this just keeps getting better. She sent a new text that the folks who were bringing their kids are making sitter arrangements and taking the total invitee list down.

Dear Lord Baby Jesus. Keep Me Near the Cross.

[laurenpetro]

ps: at church, when she comes up to you to talk about it, BECAUSE YOU KNOW SHE WILL, you need to say it was no problem and that you found the receipt for your dress and they took it back with almost no problem.