Help me with my picky eater

[auberge]

Don't judge. Help!

My 4 yr old has turned into such a picky eater in the last few months. He used to eat much more of variety of foods. Now, all he wants are the same things day in and day out. He has no problem skipping the meal if he doesn't like the selection. This is usual:

Breakfast: Cheerios, waffles, oatmeal or French toast

Lunch and Snacks: loves fruit (melon, apples, grapes etc.), yogurt, smoothies, peanut butter crackers, cheese, whole grain sprouted bagel

Dinner: pasta with butter or olive oil, pizza, rice and beans, breaded chicken (likes traders joes soy chicken tenders the most), carrots

Drinks whole milk and water. (On occasion as a treat orange juice)

This is the menu EVERYDAY.

He would eat fruit all day if we let him. As you can see he doesn't like meat, sandwiches etc. He cries if I make him eat and usually spits it out or tells me his stomach hurts.

I'm lost if I should be doing more or if I should just accept it right now as a temp phase. No growth/weight issues.

[oregonpachey]

No real advice but we are in the same boat. I keep hearing that they will eventually outgrow it.

[scribellesam]

I'm adding in my commiseration and watching this thread for some tips. I've been trying to hide veggie purées in things and giving pouches to get some vegetables in his diet. He will also drink a fruit/yogurt smoothie with some spinach or other veggies blended in. I try to offer non-preferred foods whenever possible and occasionally he will try a few bites.

[Deleted]

My BIL outgrew it when his girlfriend made fun of him. So they will outgrow it... in 10 or 15 years, worst case scenario.

I think there's a go to book for this - www.amazon.com/How-Get-Your-Kid-Eat/dp/0915950839
Or it might be this one: www.amazon.com/Child-Mine-Feeding-Revised-Updated/dp/0923521518/ref=pd_bxgy_b_text_y

[auberge]

Mar 5, 2014 18:26:56 GMT -5 @ojo said:

Ah, a starchitarian.

Is there a particular aspect you want to work on first, like incorporating vegetables? It looks like he's probably getting enough protein if he's drinking milk, but it depends on portion sizes.

Have you tried incorporating veggie purees, like Deceptively Delicious style (lioe butternut squash in macaroni and cheese) or is he suspicious of food? Will he eat puree pouches? Costco sells frozen muffins made with zucchini if you need the convenience of a prepared food, but they're green, so not sneaky.

Yep, a starchitarian lol

I guess I just want him to have more options and get out of food rut.

No sneaky happening at my house. He is a food detective. He notices if the butter is a different brand. Seriously

[sweetnsour]

My Dr told me to serve them what they want but have them try one thing that is different during each meal. It seems to be finally working. For example, my son would never eat lunch meat but if I rolled it up and served it with a toothpick he thought it was awesome.

[spanikopita]

Ok totally not trying to sound smug or anything so please don't take this the wrong way.

What are you and H eating for dinner? I take it, you don't eat soy nuggets and pasta with butter, right? So don't serve him that every day. I do cater to my 4 yo son at lunch time, just bc it isn't a big group meal. But dinnertime - he gets what is for dinner. I always make sure there is 1 item he will DEFINITELY eat (like toast, or black beans, for example). But the rest, he gets what we get. He eats a wide variety of foods. He will sometimes surprise us and be very adventurous (weirdo kid LOVES mushrooms but hates potatoes?). Also, sometimes he refuses 99% of the meal. Okay then! He's never, ever woken up hungry in the night so I don't worry about it.

[auberge]

Mar 5, 2014 18:54:30 GMT -5 spanikopita said:

Ok totally not trying to sound smug or anything so please don't take this the wrong way.

What are you and H eating for dinner? I take it, you don't eat soy nuggets and pasta with butter, right? So don't serve him that every day. I do cater to my 4 yo son at lunch time, just bc it isn't a big group meal. But dinnertime - he gets what is for dinner. I always make sure there is 1 item he will DEFINITELY eat (like toast, or black beans, for example). But the rest, he gets what we get. He eats a wide variety of foods. He will sometimes surprise us and be very adventurous (weirdo kid LOVES mushrooms but hates potatoes?). Also, sometimes he refuses 99% of the meal. Okay then! He's never, ever woken up hungry in the night so I don't worry about it.

I understand what you're saying because I grew up in a no separate meals household. We tried that and he wasn't eating 99% of the time. I gave in.

[pinkdutchtulips]

Mar 5, 2014 19:08:24 GMT -5 auberge said:

Mar 5, 2014 18:54:30 GMT -5 spanikopita said:

Ok totally not trying to sound smug or anything so please don't take this the wrong way.

What are you and H eating for dinner? I take it, you don't eat soy nuggets and pasta with butter, right? So don't serve him that every day. I do cater to my 4 yo son at lunch time, just bc it isn't a big group meal. But dinnertime - he gets what is for dinner. I always make sure there is 1 item he will DEFINITELY eat (like toast, or black beans, for example). But the rest, he gets what we get. He eats a wide variety of foods. He will sometimes surprise us and be very adventurous (weirdo kid LOVES mushrooms but hates potatoes?). Also, sometimes he refuses 99% of the meal. Okay then! He's never, ever woken up hungry in the night so I don't worry about it.

I understand what you're saying because I grew up in a no separate meals household. We tried that and he wasn't eating 99% of the time. I gave in.

same boat here ..... no separate meals household as a kid. i tried that w/ dd and like your ds, she wouldn't eat.  she eats ok at dcp - cereal, lunch is totally hit or miss (if it includes pasta we're good to go !), snack she's usually good but at home .. nope. i've caved to her too. she's 4 1/2, hoping she outgrows this SOON !

[anaps28]

We are in the same boat so I'm going to follow along here. He will still eat pouches but just in the last month he has been refusing even his usual favorites.

[lindyanne]

Just keep trying. My DS is 4.5 and just started eating actual fruit without a fight. He would eat fruit pouches grudgingly and grapes and apples. Now he's eating berries and he ate some plumcot I got the other day. I've also been giving him a small peeled carrot with a little bit of homemade dip the last few nights. Today after he ate one he told me he wants one everyday so he can get big. Prior to that we had to give him a TINY bite of whatever we were eating and he would pretty much wash it down with his drink without tasting it. I am not pushing him a ton because he's puked after chipmunking food several times but we're getting there.

[marclovesme]

Is he in DC? My DD has expanded her palate by eating foods served for snacks or special activities at school, for example, DC introduced her to red onion, cucumber, red pepper, tomatoes and hummus.

I got her to eat "fried rice," just rice with scrambled egg and veggies, by helping me make it.

This might be too obvious, but we had her color pictures of Elmo eating a sandwich and she decided she would try the sandwich so conveniently introduced at the same time. That was the one time she ate a sandwich, oh well.

We have attached strings to pizza, so she can only have it when there's a veggie on it, typically broccoli.

[karinothing]

Have you tried making chicken pot pie? That is one thing my kid will always eat (well that and sausage). But with chicken pot pie I throw lots of veggies in there and cut up the chicken really small. He doesn't seem to care when he is shoveling crust packed with 10 tablespoons of butter. Okay, so not the healthiest but it gets him to eat a ton of food veggies and chickens included. Might be something you could try once in a while.

There is a great (and easy) recipe in the How to Cook Everything book (I just use rotessire chicken).

DS also loves baked tofu (I marinate in soy sauce, siracha, garlic, ginger, sushi vinegar, and seasame oil). Then bake. It comes out brown and cripsy on the outside so kind of like bread but has protein.

[6fsn]

I admit to bribery. If he wants a treat he needs to eat what we are eating or at try something new. If we're having crab cakes I'll make him a hot dog too, but if he wants a treat he has to try the crab cake. Treats in our house are 5 M&Ms or skittles, a mini Reese's cup, etc.

We started small with just a bite then it became bigger and now he'll try 99% of what I put in front of him and anything at Costco (there is some magic in the sample people that gets him to eat anything). Tonight we offered pork or a grilled cheese and he picked the pork. It felt awesome.

We all grocery shop together and I'll let him pick something new to try. If he doesn't like it I have to remind myself not to say anything about wasted money. I give lots of praise just for trying.

We also garden. Two years ago they wouldn't eat strawberries. Last summer they were picking them straight from the vine and eating them.

[DarcyLongfellow]

We're pretty much in the same boat here . DD1 will eat fruit all day long, but will barely touch a vegetable.

It's gotten a little bit better recently. Here's what we've settled on -- no idea if this would work for another kid or if I'm creating bigger problems. I realized I was feeding the BABY what DH and I were eating for dinner, but not my four year old.

I bought these divided plates (TV dinner style) that were in the $1 spot at Target. I've been giving her at least some of what we eat for dinner. She really likes having the little compartments, and I really do think she eats more with them. I'll give her extra fruit because I know she'll eat it. She gets TINY servings of the protein and vegetables. And I do let her pick -- if we're having salad, I let her choose if she wants salad or just tomatoes or just carrots. She always gets ranch dressing (for the veg) and ketchup (for the chicken or pork or whatever).

I tell her that I don't care what she eats or if she eats, but that food is all she gets for the rest of the night. Our rule used to be that if she didn't eat and was hungry all she could have was a string cheese. But she was perfectly happy to just eat cheese for dinner. So now, I have brought her dinner plate to her in bed and sat there with her while she ate more dinner a couple times. But I haven't had to do that in a while, so I do think it's getting better!

[ladygrey]

Mar 5, 2014 21:51:11 GMT -5 DarcyLongfellow said:

I bought these divided plates (TV dinner style) that were in the $1 spot at Target. I've been giving her at least some of what we eat for dinner. She really likes having the little compartments, and I really do think she eats more with them.

I've also seen this using a muffin tin - kids seem to really enjoy the fun aspect of picking little bites from each compartment, rather than using a big plate.

auberge, does your son like any condiments? My nephew is a very picky eater but goes crazy for anything he can dip in ranch dressing. All in moderation, of course, but maybe that would encourage him to eat more veggies or meat (like chicken with BBQ sauce).

[redheadbaker]

We're in the same boat, too. I was comforted by the fact that, though he was picky at home, he was eating at daycare, but now he's refusing to eat at daycare!

They keep asking us to send in an alternative lunch for him, but I don't want to set that precedent. We're already trying to undo the "making two separate dinners" precedent we had given into at home.

I can't even get him to take ONE BITE of anything. And I don't want to turn it into a power struggle.

[dbsk8dance]

We went through this at the same age with DS. I decided if he was growing and not losing weight, then I needed to be ok with him not eating.

What sbout smoothies? Will he eat those?

What if he helps make it? What does he do at preschool? At Preschool he has been exposed to new things and it's helped.

We talk a lot about food making us strong and helping our brains. Veggies are part of that.

Apples and carrots with peanut butter?

[Ashley&Scott]

Wasn't there a post recently about making one food always available a backup. It had to be something they liked but didn't love. So the child could have whatever meal you're serving or they could choose their backup. Brie it seems like I remember you commenting in the post I'm thinking of, weren't you thinking of makin C's backup bread. Someone else mentioned cottage cheese. I'll try to find the link.

[h]

My middle child is a super picky startchitarian and will not consume any vegetables or any fresh fruits. He will eat applesauce pouches (but only one brand), raisins, dried apricots, fruit leather, certain breads or muffins made with fruit, and nutrigrain bars, but that is as close as he comes to consuming fruit. He can sniff out hidden fruits and veggies a mile away, so Sneaky Chef/Deceptively Delicious style trickery is not an option.

Honestly, I have reached the point of just trying not to worry about it. He gets plenty of protein (he drinks a ton of milk and eats scrambled eggs, turkey sausage, meatballs, chicken nuggets, turkey sandwiches, hamburgers, and string cheese). He gets plenty of calories (hello, carbs). He gets plenty of calcium, vitamin C (he'll drink OJ), and iron (red meat, fortified cereal, etc.). He takes a multivitamin. He's heathy. It would be great if he would eat fruits and vegetables, among other things, but he will be okay.

As far as special meals, I tried to avoid them, but if I don't make sure that he likes the meal, DS2 won't eat. He will and has woken up hungry in that situation. I do make an effort to serve something I know DS2 will eat family-style with the rest of our meal so that he is able to select from what is served like the rest if us rather than being handed a special plate. That means that it is not uncommon for our family to sit down to things like chicken and veggie stir-fry served with a side of chicken nuggets.

We have always made DS1 try one bite of everything served, which he does without complaint, but every time DS2 tries food he doesn't like, he gags and throws up. He is totally incapable of trying new things or expanding his list of approved foods at this point. Both of my other kids eat a well-balanced diet, willingly try new foods, and are required to eat what we eat, so I get how that works. But DS2 would starve if he had to follow the same food rules

[h]

Mar 5, 2014 22:43:35 GMT -5 jenny1980 said:

I should probably not even offer advice because Lu is a great (too good lol) eater, but I really wouldn't offer him special meals at dinner. I agree that if he's eating a decent amount at breakfast and lunch he won't starve and I would guess that he will *eventually* start eating better.

I would have guessed this as well prior to DS2. This approach worked like a charm when my otherwise good eater (DS1) went through a picky phase at 3ish. Trying the same approach with my really picky kid (DS2) was a big fat fail. At this point I have come to believe that there is not much a parent can do to prevent or cure extreme pickiness. We have approached food the same way with all three kids, and two out of three are great eaters (fingers crossed that DS3 remains that way), while the other will vomit and/or gag if he eats a single pea.

[Marmee]

DD2 & 3 are the same way. Around 6 DD2 got dramatically better, though still far from perfect. DD3 is 4.5 & has basically the same menu. I've tried the eat what we eat method a few times & she's gone weeks without any dinner. It would have continued indefinitely so yes, kids will go hungry. She would vomit & gag if I forced foods.  Now I let her eat something healthy after she tries our dinner, usually she chooses fruit or dairy. I no longer make it a power struggle & we are all happier.