Pregnancy and the workplace (long)

[bowies]

After talking to my H and my parents about this, I feel like I need to put this out there for another perspective. It could get long, so apologies.

I've mentioned on here before about how my job makes me miserable. I work for a client who has a crazy reputation (I knew this going in) but because of my previous work experience and my track record of ably working with difficult people, I was a natural choice to take over from a colleague who burnt out. It was tense at the beginning since the client basically treated me as an interloper. She was mad that she got dumped basically and had no say on the new person. I kept a good attitude and performed well.  

Things seemed to get better until we moved job sites.  The client, already a control freak with her direct reports, started to turn her attention to me. At this time I was very newly pregnant but handling the early symptoms pretty well.  I kept my head down, did my work, put in my 40+ hours. Also around this time the new job site had reached capacity, which meant parking was now an issue (the site planners forgot to account for employee parking in their design so "overflow" parking was located about a mile away). I kept getting on-site at the same time as I had and adjusted my leave time accordingly.  One day my program manager shows up at my desk to tell me the client had filed a formal complaint over my hours. I was caught off guard since I was arriving at the same time as my predecessor. Oh, and because the client had never mentioned this to me before. I was now expected in the office an hour earlier. OK. Fine. Not a hill to die on. I'm not in trouble or anything. I find out client pulled the exact same stuff with my predecessor. 

Life goes on. I keep my interactions just as professional as before. After a good NT scan, I tell my manager and client that I'm pregnant and that I have some health issues that will require more frequent doctor visits. Manager is thrilled (my company is very family friendly). Client says she is. Then the weirdness starts. The limited work I have dwindles. I know others have the same struggles so I don't think too much of it. Aside: my manager is pretty hands off on a daily basis. Tasking comes from my client and my manager trusts me to perform. Anyways, one day client stops by my desk because she's training her employees on setting career goals and wants me to attend. I politely tell her that I cannot attend that, I follow my own company's policies. She argues with me. I keep firm. This lady is not my manager no matter how much she wants to be. I knew she was crossing a line, but decided to chalk it up to her control issues and inexperience with having team members who aren't her direct reports. 

Then my Valentine's Day adventure in the hospital happened. I had (finally) been actively engaged in a tasking with the junior client. I kept her apprised of what was happening throughout the day. When I returned to work on Monday she basically avoided me for the entire week. Wouldn't look me in the eye. I no longer had the tasking. Fine, I could find other things to do. This was about the time I started crying to/from work every day. Eventually, on the last day of the month, she got over it and handed me some busy work to do. This past Monday we had a snow day, which means we work from home. On Wednesday I had an OB appointment smack in the middle of the day which was unavoidable since they called on Monday to reschedule it. I informed junior client on Tuesday and updated it on the team calendar. This was routine at this point, or so I thought. Thanks to our new job site and my change of doctors, my OB's office  is an hour away. So I could be productive that day, I asked if I could telework instead of spending 4 hours in my car. Telework is something we all have access to and others take advantage of it on doctor/sick days as well.

Friday morning I get an email from junior client that essentially states that 1. It's still taking me too long to walk in from the overflow parking lot (true enough...I've slowed down and my butt isn't in my seat at a precise time, but I am on-site) and 2. I no longer have the privilege to telework due to excessive doctor's appointments. A colleague who has a standing PT appointment every week still has her privileges. Fed up, I forwarded the email to my manager and asked for an immediate transfer. My work has not suffered. My hours are being put in. I'm not missing standing meetings. Most importantly, I'm the only one who is being singled out with these demands/restrictions. Thankfully, my manager fully supports me and I have a conference call scheduled with a few higher-ups tomorrow after work to figure something out.

There have been many other, more subtle things that have gone on..."accidentally" calling me by the wrong name, "accidentally" not inviting me to meetings. I'm not totally sure what I'm after here...thoughts I guess? 

[blushing]

I am glad that your manager is supporting you. I am sorry you have to go through all of this though.

[mrspost08]

How frustrating!! I am so very sorry! I have worked with difficult clients in the past. It makes work miserable. I hope you have a good update tomorrow after your meeting. Is your manager going to be on the call too?

[curbsideprophet]

Can you park closer if there are spots available or do you have to park in the overflow lot?

I think it is a little odd that you are counting time walking to and from your car as work time, however having to park a mile away also seems a little extreme.

[starlily]

I'd be bringing this up with your hr department, because there are some federal policies in place that the client may be overstepping.

I'd be particularly incensed about being unable to telework when others with standing appts can.

*not legal advice*

[hokiegirl82]

Wow, first of all, lots of hugs to you. I know I've been bitching about my job on here a lot, but what you are going through kinda puts what I've been dealing with in a different. I think you have handled this very well, you sound like you are doing everything professionally when dealing with this difficult client.

I hope your meeting brings about some changes, and you are able to be transferred - the last thing you need right now is the type of constant stress day in and day out.

Is there anywhere closer for you to park for the remainder of your pregnancy?

[bowies]

I should have been clearer about the hours thing, but I knew I was already being wordy.

We have a concept of "core hours" where we're expected to be here. Those are from 9-3. Supposedly, we're allowed to plan our days accordingly. I have colleagues that arrive an hour earlier than I do, some an hour later. I went along with my new start time to keep the client happy, but to be clear, I'm the only one with a prescribed time to be here. I also don't count my walking time as working time - if it took me 20 minutes to walk it, I add that time in at lunch or at the end of the day.

I could park closer if I arrived on-site at 6:00-6:30 am. After that it's overflow parking. There's a group of people who have turned the parking situation into a sort of game, and the time to be here to snag a spot keeps trending earlier.

[ringstrue]

IMHO they are discriminating against you because you are pregnant. If I were you, in your meeting I would say this flat out, because they could get their butts in deep trouble for this and they need to avoid this perception like the plague. I would also report the junior client who was withholding work from you and generally how she and everyone has been acting different since you told them you are pg and making your job increasingly difficult to do, especially with your shitty client who you took on WILLINGLY cause they know you are the only one who can handle her, and also your pg that is ALSO a health concern. So you basically did them an enormous favor and they are punishing you for doing it and being pg. Before you tell them all this in person, I would write it all down and forward it to HR (please tell me you have an HR) or just keep it and forward to the people you are meeting with immediately after you meet with them as a recap of your concerns.

GL - I hope you can just get transferred and be done with it. What does transferred mean, btw? A different department or a different location?

[melsamoony]

You absolutely need to talk with HR this is treading dangerously close to discrimination.

*NOT legal advice*

[smock]

I would definitely do everything in your power to get assigned to a different client, and avoid the difficult client like the plague. It's good that your manager is supportive, and that your manager already knows about the long history of difficulties with the terrible client. Hopefully your manager will be an advocate for you. Have you heard back after forwarding the email?

And this is a relatively minor thing, but I might seriously consider asking for a designated spot in the closer lot. Like expectant mother parking. That walk is not going to get any easier as you get bigger and it gets hotter, so it might be worth asking.

[D2M]

I'm a worker bee and I usually keep my head down, even when I've had miserable supervisors in the past, but I don't know if I could handle your situation. I'm glad you have a good immediate boss.

My only advice to you is to write everything down. If you have weird emails from your client, keep them and show them your manager. Otherwise, try to remember specific dates and times where you got the cold shoulder or you were unfairly treated and put them in a document.

[bowies]

Thanks for the feedback everyone. My parents used the D word too, but I know I'm not going to pursue that avenue. I think I typed all this out to see if someone else would say it, or if my parents were in overprotective mode. My leadership has thus far been responsive and supportive, so I'll see how our afternoon meeting goes today. I just want to be reassigned as quietly as possible. I doubt they'd even ask me to document. Me wanting out is reason enough. Ultimately, I can deal with difficult people but I cannot deal if someone cannot give me the flexibility I need right now. Even the parking/start time thing would be manageable for me if there weren't other things going on.

When I say transfer, I mean transfer assignments. I could be sitting a row over or I could be at a different job site altogether. Just depends on what's open or who is looking for a similar change of scenery.

As for the parking thing, that's a dead-end for now. In a fit of solidarity, my junior client pursued it up the chain for me and was told that unless I have a handicapped tag, I'm shit outta luck. And I'm not handicapped...walking is actually a good thing for me right now according to my doc. Plus a tag doesn't really solve the parking problem - the facility has the ADA-required number of parking spots but there are more employees with tags than there are spaces. Even if my doctor was onboard with giving me a tag right now, I just can't take a spot from someone in a wheelchair or with an oxygen tank. I just can't.

[smock]

Mar 10, 2014 11:17:07 GMT -5 bowies said:

As for the parking thing, that's a dead-end for now. In a fit of solidarity, my junior client pursued it up the chain for me and was told that unless I have a handicapped tag, I'm shit outta luck. And I'm not handicapped...walking is actually a good thing for me right now according to my doc. Plus a tag doesn't really solve the parking problem - the facility has the ADA-required number of parking spots but there are more employees with tags than there are spaces. Even if my doctor was onboard with giving me a tag right now, I just can't take a spot from someone in a wheelchair or with an oxygen tank. I just can't.

That makes sense, and it was really nice of your junior client to look into the possibility for you. I walk a mile to work each way, and when people give me horrified looks I also point out that walking is a good thing for pregnant people! It just sucks when your insane client is trying to dictate your arrival time and isn't factoring in the walk. 

Good luck at the meeting this afternoon!

[formerlyak]

I don't think your parents are being overprotective at all. Your whole post screams discrimination. I am not a lawyer, but as a director-level staff member at work, I am required to take a yearly seminar on this topic so we can make sure we are all understanding the rules, and everything this client is doing is just leading down that path. You don't have to say the D work in your meeting, but I would make it clear that you feel you are being treated differently because of your pregnancy and give concrete examples of how (i.e. the inability to telework because of your appointment despite this option being available to others with standing appointments).

I also think if you aren't transferred, you should start to talk with your Ob about the distance of the walk so that if at some point she doesn't want you walking that far, she can give you a medical release and they can either reserve a spot in the closer lot for you (I've seen this done at some jobs for ladies in their 3rd trimester even when their normal lot is much closer than yours is) or allow you to telework after a certain point. Walking is good for you now, but you never know what will happen. I know my doctor would never let me walk that far at this point.

[loira]

I don't have anything to add that pps haven't already stated. I'm sorry you're going through this. I work at an agency and have several clients, most of whom do not yet know I'm pregnant even though everyone in my office knows. I am dreading telling one client in particular because even though she likes me, she can be extremely demanding (and doesn't pay enough for the amount she demands). I know that outwardly she'll act happy, but I suspect she's going to be pissed that someone else is taking over her account for 4-6 months. Like your client, she's one of those 'legacy clients' and has been through 3 separate account managers over the past 2 years because of people leaving or changing roles within the company. I know she's going to flip at being 'handed off' to someone else again, and I dread the repercussions for me.