I'm jumping in! I've lurked for a while, figured it's time to officially join.
I've been separated for 2 years, divorced just over 1. My exH is a drug and alcohol addict. I stuck around for years past our expiration date but left when he started letting our son down. I have an amazing 5 year old who makes me happy everyday. I have full custody of him, since my ex isn't fit to take care of himself, much less a child.
I've dated a bit after the divorce but I know I'm too scared to actually let myself care for someone. I've been in therapy for a year and I feel so much better about myself, but dating is definitely going to be hard. I finally feel the urge to go out and meet people, but anything after that is scary to contemplate, if that makes sense.
Thanks for making It through this If you did, you are a wonderful group, I look forward to any advice/comisseration/funny stories anyone wants to share.
Post by gullterre15 on Mar 11, 2014 1:29:07 GMT -5
pampoovey. Hi! Yours and my stories sound eerily familiar. Though I am still trying to get my divorce over and done with. My son will be 3 this month, I am leaning toward trying to get full parental rights at this point....I would rather do it completely on my own rather than him continue to give no financial support, let our son down/put him in danger, AND continue in his downward spiral in front of our faces. So does your son ever see his dad?
BlueBayou No coast for me, I am smack dab in the middle of the Midwest. I do have family on the east coast and we try to visit once a year.
gullterre15 , my son has not seen his dad in almost 2 years. My ex-husband skipped our divorce court dates and so I was given full legal and physical custody. I've taken my kiddo to the therapist just to be proactive but he doesn't seem to care too much about not seeing his dad. To be honest, he didn't even notice when his dad moved out. I wouldn't allow my ex-husband to drink in our home so he frequently wouldn't come home and when he did, he would have to sleep it off, so we really only saw him in passing.
Things are definitely much better now that it's just me and my son. I'm in a really good spot career-wise, I'm actually saving money without him drinking it away, and my son is surrounded by family (mine and my ex's) who love and support him. But I think I have survivor's guilt or something because I still worry about my ex-husband, and frequently have nightmares about him. I'm hoping therapy and meds can help get past that.
Post by pinkdutchtulips on Mar 11, 2014 12:13:16 GMT -5
welcome ! i'm new myself and have a similar story. i left my stbxh this past September after he relapsed into drug addiction after 15+ years of being clean. i got full custody per the Restraining Order. he hasn't seen his dd since we left almost 6 months ago but i did allow him to speak to her on his bday last month (he's currently in rehab right now but i have NO plans on reuniting with him).
pinkdutchtulips I'm sorry you're going go this too. I had to eventually get a restraining order against my ex too, it was so hard. Does your DD do well with the phone calls? My son has no interest in talking on the phone to people he knows much less a stranger, I think he'd be bored pretty quick.
pinkdutchtulips I'm sorry you're going go this too. I had to eventually get a restraining order against my ex too, it was so hard. Does your DD do well with the phone calls? My son has no interest in talking on the phone to people he knows much less a stranger, I think he'd be bored pretty quick.
she's only talked to him the ONE time. the RO denied any contact/vistation/custody to my stbxh. she talked for a little while but she lost interest. some of the questions she asked omg .. he learned really quick that she's alot smarter than her 4 years.