If I could afford the fees, yes. There would be no strings or conditions attached if it were my parents. I guess it would depend on the giver, whether they'd have conditions/strings attached.
I would absolutely accept it, as long as we could swing the monthly fees. We were members of a country club growing up and it was a blast going there almost every day in the summers. I remember they had the best steak fries at the pool, lol. If my parents were offering, I would assume it was not a financial hardship for them. It would probably be a moot point, though, because my H would likely never let us accept it :/
I really don't get the bolded. Or maybe it's the word "let" that's annoying me. If your parents were offering a gift, that they could afford, with no strings attached, why would your husband say no? Or why would he get the final say on a gift from your parents?
"Let" is probably too strong a word. He just has a REALLY hard time accepting gifts from our parents, especially for things that are not a "need." He was raised in a family where you pay your own way, where any exchange of money is handled like a business contract. He wouldn't get final say, but it would take some convincing on my part. Free golf might swing him in my direction.
Despite the high initiation fee, there isn't a dining room nor food and drink minimums. The food prices are reasonable if we do want to grab a bite while sitting by the pool. I believe the monthly fee is about 1/3-1/2 what other gym memberships are in the area and we'd do that rather than another gym.
I said "most." I am aware that I am a bit of a reverse snob, lol. I haven't had the greatest experiences with people of means.
You are my people, miso.
(heart)
I take my Nestie friends to the club!
We chow down on filet mignon and creme brulee and are always the most raucous table in the dining room.
I want to go to here with you and chow down on filet mignon and creme brulee and be raucous! I clean up nicely and due to my WASPy background can use the correct silver and know to put my napkin on my lap!
I really don't get the bolded. Or maybe it's the word "let" that's annoying me. If your parents were offering a gift, that they could afford, with no strings attached, why would your husband say no? Or why would he get the final say on a gift from your parents?
"Let" is probably too strong a word. He just has a REALLY hard time accepting gifts from our parents, especially for things that are not a "need." He was raised in a family where you pay your own way, where any exchange of money is handled like a business contract. He wouldn't get final say, but it would take some convincing on my part. Free golf might swing him in my direction.
Okay, I get you. And never underestimate the allure of dangling free golf in front of a man! lol
I guess I'm a bit sensitive about the "not my people" comment.
I mean.
We belong to a club, so that makes us "those people."
Frankly, I like us, so...I guess they are "my people," and I'd hope that others wouldn't think that we are "not their people."
"My people" are usually strident liberal nerds. "Not my people" are all these pretty socialites married to hedge fund guys. Some even vote republican. And yet they don't mind my vocal near socialist tendencies and aren't embarrassed to be seen with my no makeup, cheap clothes and cellulite ;-)
Holy god, YOU are my people. Why aren't we neighbors??
Can she not take your daughter without you? Do you like those types of things?
I'd rather sent the kid with grandma to the club, and go have cocktails with my spouse somewhere else.
(clearly I have no idea how these sorts of things work).
She already does occasionally - and I go too. I pay for our poolside snacks and drinks. Membership would mean we could workout without her and swim whenever.
Many of the clubs in LA just recently started accepting Jewish people. And women. So it isn't a crazy question.
Yeah. not that sort of club. It's a small town swimming pool and tennis courts that has gotten a bit too big for it's britches.
I don't hold that against them. The club I want to join just admitted women a decade ago. Change comes from within and all that. But it's nice there's no history of that.
We belonged to a club very similar to that in Santa Barbara and I LOVED it. It was like family. Leaving that club was one of the hardest things to me about leaving SB. And we will be promptly joining my IL's club when we move to Carmel. So to me this is pretty straight-forward.
I don't think I'd want to belong to a club that had that high of an initiation fee because it leads me to think most of the members would think they are "all that"
However, belonging has been useful for my husband, not just because he loves golf, but because he can sweet-talk people into becoming clients of his company. This would've been useful for me, too, had I remained at a large law firm.
Our club is actually getting younger and more diverse, and we feel good about being a part of that.
I agree with this -- the networking opportunities can be pretty amazing. We don't belong to a country club now, but if H's career trajectory continues, we'll probably consider it just for the networking.
I don't think I'd want to belong to a club that had that high of an initiation fee because it leads me to think most of the members would think they are "all that"
I don't think I'd want to belong to a club that had that high of an initiation fee because it leads me to think most of the members would think they are "all that"
See, I already know I'm "all that." I just have really different standards for what qualifies as "all that" than most ;-)
Especially if it was mere hundreds a few years ago?
Also, why $18k? Why not $15k or $20k?
WHY DOES THIS BOTHER ME?
It's just the delivery of the $18k being an initiation. Like, if the yearly dues added up to an amount that absorbed that, it would be slightly less annoying. Maybe.
I would like to eat with Miso at the club, I feel like she could educate me on lots of worldly things.
I also would have a hard time accepting in the OP's case because I wouldn't want to be stuck paying for it in the event that I wouldn't want to go there any longer. But I guess, like Miso said, if you could sell the membership, it might be worth a shot.
Especially if it was mere hundreds a few years ago?
Also, why $18k? Why not $15k or $20k?
WHY DOES THIS BOTHER ME?
It's just the delivery of the $18k being an initiation. Like, if the yearly dues added up to an amount that absorbed that, it would be slightly less annoying. Maybe.
They added a new olympic size pool, renovated the locker rooms, redid the tennis courts, etc. a few years ago. Instead of raising rates for members, they decided to pass the cost on to any new members since they had a 10 year waiting list to join. (The wait list has since shrunk). It's an affluent town so enough people can afford to pay it. (Plus, the 18K is an estimate I made up. I have to ask and find out the actual amount).
I don't think I'd want to belong to a club that had that high of an initiation fee because it leads me to think most of the members would think they are "all that"
I very much doubt that, in the area sonrisa lives, people are going to think having $18k invested in a country club membership makes them "all that." I would assume $18k is probably around a month's pay for most people in that area. Not negligible, but certainly not an amount of money that is going to inflate anyone's ego.
Yes, I would accept this very generous offer, assuming you are on good terms with your family and feel assured that they likely would not leverage this against you in guilt trips down the road. Also assuming that you would derive pleasure from the activities offered. If there are strings attached, I'd have to think carefully. But otherwise I have no reservations.
I don't think I'd want to belong to a club that had that high of an initiation fee because it leads me to think most of the members would think they are "all that"
You know what is funny? I have no problem accepting the biggest gift she's given us: babysitting the little ones 2 or 3 times a month so we can have a date night. I also smiled and said thank you when DH's parents gave us a similar amount to help with our down payment. Apparently it's just expensive chlorine that I have trouble accepting.
I would accept, but I grew up belonging to a country club and spending every day there in the summer - they are some of the best memories of my childhood so if we had the option/opportunity to join one, I would. Currently we join a neighborhood pool for the summer because that's what we use the most, and we spend most days there in the summer. But as the kids get older, we're considering one of the country clubs instead because of tennis and golf options.
Re: the $18k, I see that you updated that they re-did a bunch of stuff and that was going to be my guess. The club I grew up going to did that at one point. It wasn't $18k, but they added a higher initiation fee to cover some repairs and stuff being redone.