What books are you reading to prep for baby-raising?

[bowies]

I feel pretty set on the whole pregnancy/labor thing, but, uh, not on actually raising a dependent human. I have a Mayo Clinic book on the first year but it's not really cutting it for me. Happiest Baby on the Block is in my Amazon cart.  What else should I be reading?

[amaristella]

What areas are you most looking for? I could tell you me entire library of baby oriented books but you might not even want to touch half of them. Haha.

[rbp]

Good question. I need to know this too!

[bowies]

amaristella - I'm interested in sleeping, (breast)feeding, socialization, general care and well-being. The Mayo book talked mainly about developmental milestones, which is good to know, but how do I take care of a baby and keep my sanity?

[ringstrue]

That might be good enough. I liked having a week by week guide on baby's development. Jo Frost wrote a book called "confident baby care" or something similar.

[amaristella]

Mar 11, 2014 17:29:47 GMT -5 bowies said:

amaristella - I'm interested in sleeping, (breast)feeding, socialization, general care and well-being. The Mayo book talked mainly about developmental milestones, which is good to know, but how do I take care of a baby and keep my sanity?

How do I take care of a baby? & General Care - Don't laugh, we use The Baby Owner's Manual As for your sanity. My only advice is make sure you have a support system to help you get breaks now and again. You'll see what I mean. I also read Diaper Free: The Gentle Wisdom of Naturalk Infant Hygeine but haven't been able to do very much with it because baby & I just aren't mutually ready to focus on it yet but I am trying to lay some groundwork here and there.

Sleeping - The most helpful tips we've gotten so far have been from the sleep chapter in The Baby Book - This book is actually a compendium of baby info. but it's huge and I haven't even attempted to read it all. 

Breastfeeding - Ehn. I have the La Leche League Book. It will probably get you where you're going but I felt that it wasted a lot of my time with anecdotes. I would only recommend it if you feel you need a lot of pep talk in the form of stories about women who lurve breastfeeding their babies. I will add that I have also read Baby Led Weaning and really like the accompanying Facebook page but haven't gotten to that point with A yet.

Socialization - Oy. I'll tell you everything I read even if I didn't like it that well because everyone is different, ya know? I just take what I like from each book and leave the rest.
I liked Sears' Attachment Parenting book. Most of it was pretty good.
Montessori from the Start had neat ideas. I think from a child development standpoint that it resonated with me the most.
You are Your Child's First Teacher has a very Waldorf slant and it still had some good ideas but I rolled my eyes at it a lot.
Simplicity Parenting I thought I was going to love but honestly it is so full of fluff in every way that even though the premise is wonderful and some of the ideas are extremely well thought out I don't even know if I'm going to finish reading it. For a book on simplifying one's life it sure is a long complicated read. Irony much?

Last but not least remember this well. Parenting books are preachy. Everyone who has written one thinks they are God's gift to parents and will continue to try to sell you on their parenting opinions all the way through the book. I mean, if you weren't interested you wouldn't be reading, right? Sorry, /rant

[ringstrue]

There was an article which I found randomly that had a ton of ways to soothe an infant it was basically saying a combo of sound, movement and swaddling. So like, I'd turn on the dryer and walk the "mommy sway" with her swaddled. Or, swaddle, swing and sports on TV. Damn I'll have to find it but it was a lifesaver in the early weeks.

[amaristella]

Lately I've also found that Facebook groups have been a fantastic for support. I have one for breastfeeding, baby wearing, cloth diapering, and all kinds of junk and I learn so much from them. Plus, it's a really easy way to get immediate advice from real parents. I highly recommend only joining closed groups that way your Facebook friends don't automatically see your activity, posts, and comments.

[chickadee77]

I'm just starting this, too. I have What to Expect the First Year and Baby 411 in my cart. Uh, another, too, maybe Positive Discipline? You might also check in on MMM - they're a really good resource in and of themselves, but might have additional recs.

[SJ]

Mar 11, 2014 18:29:03 GMT -5 amaristella said:

Lately I've also found that Facebook groups have been a fantastic for support. I have one for breastfeeding, baby wearing, cloth diapering, and all kinds of junk and I learn so much from them. Plus, it's a really easy way to get immediate advice from real parents. I highly recommend only joining closed groups that way your Facebook friends don't automatically see your activity, posts, and comments.

How do you find these?

[amaristella]

Mar 11, 2014 19:56:50 GMT -5 SJ said:

Mar 11, 2014 18:29:03 GMT -5 amaristella said:

Lately I've also found that Facebook groups have been a fantastic for support. I have one for breastfeeding, baby wearing, cloth diapering, and all kinds of junk and I learn so much from them. Plus, it's a really easy way to get immediate advice from real parents. I highly recommend only joining closed groups that way your Facebook friends don't automatically see your activity, posts, and comments.

How do you find these?

It depends. If the subject area is pretty broad you might try a local group so search the name of your area or city or state plus the key term like breastfeeding. Or just search the key term if you want a group with thousands, possibly tens of thousands of people. You just use the search box like you would if you were looking up a friend's page. Some of the best ones are by word of mouth. People I know added me when they knew I had the same interest.

[IndiaInk]

I read "Heading Home with Your Newborn: From Birth to Reality"  a few months ago and found it really helpful. I will probably check it out from the library again to have on hand when the baby is born. It's pretty comprehensive.


For breastfeeding, I own "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding" 


and I've read "The Nursing Mother's Companion"

[Myrrhine]

I need to add all of these to my amazon wish list!

[bethaboo]

Great thread! I only have Baby 411 so far and I have Happiest Baby in my Amazon wishlist. I've read a million pregnancy books, but definitely need a few newborn care recs.

[narockshard]

I've mostly been interested in books on parenting in general. So far I have read Parenting with Love and Logic, and I just started On Being Babywise. I'm only on the first chapter though so I'm not sure how I will like it although the general philosophy seems in line with my views (so far).

[amaristella]

Mar 11, 2014 20:29:51 GMT -5 narockshard said:

I've mostly been interested in books on parenting in general. So far I have read Parenting with Love and Logic, and I just started On Being Babywise. I'm only on the first chapter though so I'm not sure how I will like it although the general philosophy seems in line with my views (so far).

I had that book recommended to me by a friend. I shied away from it after reading reviews that mentioned controversy over the methods described in the book. I don't usually recommend wikipedia, but it does have a good summary of the criticisms.

Edit to clarify: I was referring to On Being Babywise. I am not familiar with Parenting with Love and Logic.

[katinthehat]

I survived parenting a high needs baby because of The Wonder Weeks and Dr Sears Fussy Baby Book. Fussy Baby is preachy (it's a Sears book after all) but The Wonder Weeks is not. And TWW doesn't have any answers really but it tells you why your sweet and loving baby is being a total jackass. Just having the knowledge of why they're being so difficult (and it's not just to ruin your life) made me feel a lot better. It also helps because it gives pretty darn accurate age ranges of when your baby is going through a "wonder week" so you know it's going to end and life won't always be this way.

[narockshard]

Mar 11, 2014 20:51:28 GMT -5 amaristella said:

Mar 11, 2014 20:29:51 GMT -5 narockshard said:

I've mostly been interested in books on parenting in general. So far I have read Parenting with Love and Logic, and I just started On Being Babywise. I'm only on the first chapter though so I'm not sure how I will like it although the general philosophy seems in line with my views (so far).

I had that book recommended to me by a friend. I shied away from it after reading reviews that mentioned controversy over the methods described in the book. I don't usually recommend wikipedia, but it does have a good summary of the criticisms.

Edit to clarify: I was referring to On Being Babywise. I am not familiar with Parenting with Love and Logic.

Yeah I heard it was controversial, but I still figured I'd see what it's all about. I'm most definitely not into attachment parenting styles so I want to explore other options. Ultimately though I hope I'm level headed enough to realize when things are working and when they aren't!

[Odonata]

I've decided to avoid all books on parenting. I just want to know what I need to do to keep it alive. I've watched so many friends raise their kids according to whatever fad is out there at the moment and then have terrific mommy guilt if they feel they aren't "doing it right". I also see some of them pulling their hair out because it's not "working".

I'm hoping to rely on instinct, memories of how my parents raised me, and advice from those who I feel are "doing it right". Not sure what "right" is but I guess it all depends on the family.

[Yankees21]

I just picked up Baby 411 at a consignment store last week as I've seen it recommended here. H and I also watched The Happiest Baby on the Block DVD and it was really useful.

[justthetip]

Dealing with newborns: Happiest Baby on the Block book or DVD. I read the book, and rented the DVD from our library for DH to watch. I highly highly recommend having your H watch the DVD. I think mine would have felt helpless with our colicky baby, but felt very empowered to have things to try that actually work.

I read Babywise, but took it with a large grain of salt. Turns out it just wouldn't work for my kid who only napped 30-40 mins at a time. It worked well for my sister who had an easy baby. I wouldn't bother. Try the basic routine of sleep, then eat, then play in 3 hour blocks to avoid the crutch of nursing to sleep. Or don't. Really doesn't matter. Your kid will not nurse indefinitely.

Breastfeeding: I like the Nursing Mother's Companion. It's one you don't have to read cover to cover. Just a short intro & then quick reference bulleted troubleshooting topics. That worked for me in the new baby days when I had no time for leisurely reading.

Sleep: I swear by Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It doesn't shove one parenting style down your throat, and gives suggestions whether your style be bedsharing, baby in their room from day one, no crying, CIO, whatever. It covers what to expect by weeks at first, then months, so again you only need to read the first two chapters, then refer back as your kid gets older or you run into problems. The main gist is establishing a routine and healthy sleep habits early so you don't have to go back & break bad habits when you have a strong willed 2 year old. Although it covers that too if you get there.

I really liked Simplicity Parenting for the information but agree with PP that it lacks a good editor.

I didn't finish Happiest Toddler on the Block, but you will not catch me yelling in toddler-ese at my screaming kid in public. Or anywhere. Just no.

[amaristella]

Mar 11, 2014 23:09:24 GMT -5 justthetip said:

I read Babywise, but took it with a large grain of salt. Turns out it just wouldn't work for my kid who only napped 30-40 mins at a time. It worked well for my sister who had an easy baby. I wouldn't bother. Try the basic routine of sleep, then eat, then play in 3 hour blocks to avoid the crutch of nursing to sleep. Or don't. Really doesn't matter. Your kid will not nurse indefinitely.

It's so weird you mention that because my kid is an "easy baby" and that's why I figure that method would not work for us. I've noticed that if we have him out in public and sitting in the stroller, he gets overwhelmed and goes really quiet and looks all around at everything. While he's at it he doesn't fuss or cry and practically will not alert me when he is hungry whereas if I wear him in a carrier he'll squirm if his diaper is dirty and let me know if he's hungry and needs to eat. If I set him down far away from me to nap he only sleeps 10-30 minutes at a time and the longer it takes for me to get to him the longer it takes to calm him down such that I spend as much time calming and feeding him as what he spends sleeping.

[Deleted]

Mar 11, 2014 21:34:24 GMT -5 Odonata said:

I've decided to avoid all books on parenting. I just want to know what I need to do to keep it alive. I've watched so many friends raise their kids according to whatever fad is out there at the moment and then have terrific mommy guilt if they feel they aren't "doing it right". I also see some of them pulling their hair out because it's not "working".

I'm hoping to rely on instinct, memories of how my parents raised me, and advice from those who I feel are "doing it right". Not sure what "right" is but I guess it all depends on the family.

This is me right now. I deal better in things like, "dogs can't have chocolate" and "don't give the baby orange juice until age whatever." I feel like I would get majorly over whelmed with choices, even though I'm a reader. 

[D2M]

For a fun read, I just finished Bringing Up Bebe, the book about an American woman raising kids in Paris. It's not a how-to book at all, but it made me think a lot about the boundaries to set for kids and toddlers (and made me really jealous about all the awesome food served even at French daycares).

[Odonata]

Mar 12, 2014 8:23:40 GMT -5 D2M said:

For a fun read, I just finished Bringing Up Bebe, the book about an American woman raising kids in Paris. It's not a how-to book at all, but it made me think a lot about the boundaries to set for kids and toddlers (and made me really jealous about all the awesome food served even at French daycares).

I read this a few years back and it aligns 100% with how I was raised and how I intend to raise my kids. Which means I'll most likely be judged by most of the hard core moms right now but oh well.

[bowies]

I'm not totally turned off by preachy books - I can sit there and roll my eyes if there's at least one nugget of wisdom to extract, lol. Go on with your bad self if you can tell me how to calm my wailing child. I think that's the thing that causes me the most anxiety - communicating with someone who doesn't have any language skills.

I'm not really into the parenting philosophy thing either, I figure we'll invent our own along the way. I've seen some great suggestions on here, so thanks everyone! I'll be spending some time on Amazon today looking into these further.

[D2M]

Mar 12, 2014 8:50:12 GMT -5 Odonata said:

Mar 12, 2014 8:23:40 GMT -5 D2M said:

For a fun read, I just finished Bringing Up Bebe, the book about an American woman raising kids in Paris. It's not a how-to book at all, but it made me think a lot about the boundaries to set for kids and toddlers (and made me really jealous about all the awesome food served even at French daycares).

I read this a few years back and it aligns 100% with how I was raised and how I intend to raise my kids. Which means I'll most likely be judged by most of the hard core moms right now but oh well.

It was interesting to see how French parents don't have entrenched views about right vs. wrong parenting (attachment vs. non-attachment, etc.) because most middle-class parents just do the same thing, no matter what.  On that vein, one of my friends, who is a huge researcher and teaches a parenting class at her church, gave me a list of parenting books and one of them is by the French NYC doctor cited a lot in Bebe.  She said his book, The New Basics by Michel Cohen, is a good reminder to uptight parents to calm down about child rearing, although she said he leans a little bit on the laissez faire side.