Am I being petty? Long.

[Deleted]

Jul 10, 2012 11:19:54 GMT -5 broc said:

Jul 10, 2012 11:09:35 GMT -5 cville said:

and i think you're really at bottom here insulted that they didn't want to carry with them to their new home a precious memory of your kid in the form of a dinosaur romper. these shallow people don't give a shit, nor are they requried to, that their progeny's cousin likes dinosaurs.

I'm riding this bus. A basket of essentials really is a good gift, but let's not pretend like your initial idea of a dinosaur outfit to 'remind the kid of its cousin' wasn't on par with designer baby clothes.

Yes. This could be true also. I was really going for the whole separate but still connected thing for the cousins, but yes, I have been known to center things around my kid often. I see this point.

[imoan]

It's GLARINGLY obvious. Not BLARINGLY obvious. That's all I have to say about this hot mess judge-a-thon.

[melindafelinda]

Jul 10, 2012 11:28:36 GMT -5 imoan said:

It's GLARINGLY obvious. Not BLARINGLY obvious. That's all I have to say about this hot mess judge-a-thon.

So far this is the only thing I care about in this post. Good day.

[Deleted]

Jul 10, 2012 11:27:27 GMT -5 @habbsies said:

Jul 10, 2012 11:25:30 GMT -5 @lazerus24 said:

Meh. It is my husbands brother. Will be his nephew. We certainly care. I am being petty, but we care.

Right but you can care about them, care about your new baby nephew without giving a shit about the ins and outs of the relationship, insurance coverage, and preferences in baby clothes.

I agree. Although they are the ones that came asking questions to us. I meant to put in OP, but it got WAY too long, that I am very proud of BIL for joining and them taking care of the kid. Really. Although they do not know what that means yet.

It really comes down to them being immature and it rubbing me the wrong way for so many petty reasons.

[Deleted]

Jul 10, 2012 11:30:04 GMT -5 melindafelinda said:

Jul 10, 2012 11:28:36 GMT -5 imoan said:

It's GLARINGLY obvious. Not BLARINGLY obvious. That's all I have to say about this hot mess judge-a-thon.

So far this is the only thing I care about in this post. Good day.

I used spell check and it auto corrected. But I thank you for pointing it out.

[-Moe-]

Jul 10, 2012 11:26:17 GMT -5 cville said:

Jul 10, 2012 11:23:59 GMT -5 @habbsies said:

Also, I'm not understanding the hate you have for these people anyway. Yes, they are silly, stupid, and shallow but homeboy knocked up a chick, decided to keep the baby, and then omigosh, had the nerve to go get gainfully employed and them marry this girl so they could afford to raise their stupid, polo shirt wearing oopsie baby.

I think they judge and snark on you just as hard as you do on them and it's likely a draw as to who the winner is.

when i read this, i hear "family!" sung like "tradition!" from fiddler on the roof in my head.

ah, family.

I just threw my hands up in the air!

[Deleted]

Jul 10, 2012 11:28:36 GMT -5 imoan said:

It's GLARINGLY obvious. Not BLARINGLY obvious. That's all I have to say about this hot mess judge-a-thon.

Wait. What? Ya'll love judging!!! Especially bee bee brides!!

I am so confused.

[melindafelinda]

Now I feel like you have gone crazy and are just replying to random shit.

[Deleted]

Jul 10, 2012 11:31:28 GMT -5 @lazerus24 said:

Jul 10, 2012 11:28:36 GMT -5 imoan said:

It's GLARINGLY obvious. Not BLARINGLY obvious. That's all I have to say about this hot mess judge-a-thon.

Wait. What? Ya'll love judging!!! Especially bee bee brides!!

I am so confused.

That quote was meant for imoan.

[Deleted]

I think you have to accept that these are not awesome people and you aren't going to have a close relationship with them, especially as they aren't particularly likeable. It would be nice if your kids were bff cousins but some families just don't work that way. You might be making the situation worse by forcing an attachment that just isn't coming, kwim?

I like my SIL but if I tried to have a sister rah rah I love you man relationship with her, it would just end up causing hurt feelings in the long run. We just aren't enough alike for that.

[Deleted]

Jul 10, 2012 11:32:58 GMT -5 melindafelinda said:

Now I feel like you have gone crazy and are just replying to random shit.

'

I quoted the wrong thing.

Nope, not crazy. I was pretty sure the answers I was going to get. And it actually really helped to read them.

[Deleted]

hab - you are exactly right. It has been one family event after another and time spent together before he leaves. I think that is why it was so easy to get all worked up in my head about it. Like everyone else said, they will be gone in a few weeks and I just gotta let it go. Especially when most of the animosity was coming from my own feelings.

[Deleted]

Jul 10, 2012 11:33:03 GMT -5 @habbsies said:

I think you have to accept that these are not awesome people and you aren't going to have a close relationship with them, especially as they aren't particularly likeable. It would be nice if your kids were bff cousins but some families just don't work that way. You might be making the situation worse by forcing an attachment that just isn't coming, kwim?

I like my SIL but if I tried to have a sister rah rah I love you man relationship with her, it would just end up causing hurt feelings in the long run. We just aren't enough alike for that.

TRUTH. can you talk to my sil? apparently i'm doing life wrong.

[bab]

Be the bigger person here! They are 19 year old CHILDREN and are behaving as such. Give them the gifts you already purchased and throw in ONE item off their registry. A GAP gift card would be just fine. At the end of the day, these items are for your nephew, not your dumbass BIL and his GF.

[Deleted]

Jul 10, 2012 11:43:49 GMT -5 bab said:

Be the bigger person here! They are 19 year old CHILDREN and are behaving as such. Give them the gifts you already purchased and throw in ONE item off their registry. A GAP gift card would be just fine. At the end of the day, these items are for your nephew, not your dumbass BIL and his GF.

:Y: I am sensing this is the general consensus and I agree. I am going to throw in a baby gap gift card.

[bcv513]

I'm confused as to which preggo is 19...

[Deleted]

Jul 10, 2012 11:45:57 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

You know how young girls will post on the bump about a gift, complaining that it was motivated out of bitterness and ill will? You know how you will think "OMG - it's a gift! I'm sure they mean you well. Don't over think it, crazy baby having babies."

It sounds like in this case the baby baby mama would be right.

Meh. I don't agree with that. If I got them a ton of cutesy shit with dinosaurs EVERYWHERE - that would be ill will and bitterness.

A good chunk of money spent on diapers and things they actually need - nope. It is not what they wanted, but they certainly need it. I am not trying to be the bitchiest person in the world here. And I did admit that it could be conveyed wrong - and I plan on adding to it.

[sonrisa]

But isn't that what life is going to be for them for the next dozen years - Not what they wanted? At best, occasionally what they need? Isn't that what her life already is if she's knocked up and kicked out of her family's home?

How hard is it to give the silly teen her one day of shiny fun at the shower with a ridiculous romper the kid will never wear? Save the useful gifts and give them a few weeks later when they've looked around, gotten a clue and realized what crap they are in for.

[Deleted]

Jul 10, 2012 11:53:27 GMT -5 nuggetbrain said:

I think the fact he went off and joined the Navy to be able to support his family says that he might not be as assbackwards as you think. I mean, yeah, he's 19 and she's 19 and they probably want their baby to look SOOPER CUTE but I also think they probably haven't attended many baby showers and probably have no idea that they should even have included the essentials on there.

I totally agree. Which is why I bought the stuff they needed. They will be alone and stationed away from home when the baby does come.

[Deleted]

Sonrisa- you are most definitely right.

[jerseygrl]

Eh, I would stick with the original gift and give them all the necessities that they will need for the baby. Of course, with the kindest heart and with the preparation that they will be pissed because it is not what they asked for.

In the end, it's about the baby's needs, not the parent's wants. I think it is more important that the baby has diapers and other essentials than a $50 outfit.

I think that when the baby is born you could always send them a cute outfit as a gift and you are fulfilling their request.

[eb777888]

Jul 10, 2012 11:02:07 GMT -5 pedanticwench said:

I would have bought them a $20 giftcard to Baby GAP and been done with it. But I enjoy being petty.

lol! This is what I'd want to do.

I think a present is a present. I think it's fine.

[Deleted]

Jul 10, 2012 11:59:19 GMT -5 jerseygrl said:

Eh, I would stick with the original gift and give them all the necessities that they will need for the baby. Of course, with the kindest heart and with the preparation that they will be pissed because it is not what they asked for.

In the end, it's about the baby's needs, not the parent's wants. I think it is more important that the baby has diapers and other essentials than a $50 outfit.

I think that when the baby is born you could always send them a cute outfit as a gift and you are fulfilling their request.

This.

[So_Fetch]

I think your necessities are going to get left behind because she's not going to want to haul it all wherever they end up stationed. I'd keep it for myself if I were you and get them a gift card for essential or a gc to baby gap or the something off the registry (that will be easy to pack).

[Deleted]

Jul 10, 2012 12:31:15 GMT -5 So_Fetch said:

I think your necessities are going to get left behind because she's not going to want to haul it all wherever they end up stationed. I'd keep it for myself if I were you and get them a gift card for essential or a gc to baby gap or the something off the registry (that will be easy to pack).

I think the navy is sending movers the following week to pack up everything and ship it. I believe that is why the scheduled the shower that weekend. That was certainly a concern at first!

[kadams767]

Jul 10, 2012 12:00:28 GMT -5 TR said:

And maybe they've got the essentials covered. Maybe her parents or your ILs are buying all of the essentials for them or something. And they just want fun stuff from the shower. You don't know everything about everyone involved in this situation.

Yes, it seems logical that her parents, who kicked her out of their house, are running out to buy diapers and butt cream and nasal aspirators as we speak.

OP, I think your gift is fine. People get gifts that aren't on their registry all the time. It's a wishlist, not a legal mandate.

[partiallysunny]

I think your thoughts are petty but not your actions, if that makes sense.

You don't have to purchase gifts from a registry and what you bought is fine. Don't over analyze it.