Post by ThirdandLong on Jul 10, 2012 10:58:22 GMT -5
Yeah, maybe you're a little upset. I think it would serve you well to realize they are both going to get a sharp dose of reality - him in the armed forces, her with a newborn all alone. They should be pitied. They really seem to have no clue.
I think that's a nice gift. I'd probably throw in a polo shirt because I am a sucker for cute baby clothes but you certaintly aren't petty if you do not. GL to them though because yikes.
I don't think it's petty that you aren't sticking to the registry. You are buying them things they actually need. That's a good thing. I don't always stick to registries. I might get one item off it but it's usually essentials.
Don't let them get to you. They are young and immature and since they are moving away, you won't have to deal with them much anyways.
Post by kellbell191 on Jul 10, 2012 11:02:03 GMT -5
This is going to basically resolve itself when the baby comes along and they realize they don't know what the hell they're doing. I would probably just give them a gift card, but a present is a present so whatever.
Last Edit: Jul 10, 2012 11:02:32 GMT -5 by pedanticwench
I have all the books I could need, and what more could I need than books? I shall only engage in commerce if books are the coin. -- Catherynne M. Valente
I don't think it's petty that you got them stuff they actually need. They will be rudely awakened when they realize they have nothing but designer baby clothes and no essentials the kid actually needs.
I think you need to give them the present without the attitude. It's clear that you are hurt, but yelling at them isn't going to help anything.
I agree. Certainly will not be yelling at them (did I say that?). All I have said to them are congratulations and how are you feeling. And that we are excited for them.
I don't think it's petty that you aren't sticking to the registry. You are buying them things they actually need. That's a good thing. I don't always stick to registries. I might get one item off it but it's usually essentials.
Don't let them get to you. They are young and immature and since they are moving away, you won't have to deal with them much anyways.
Thanks. This is where I have been for awhile. It has certainly been hard watching all of this go down. I care for BIL and I worry about the baby and how these kids will deal with being on their own and raising a kid.
Also, I do feel a little petty with the judgement and hostility I am feeling. That is why I was second guessing my purchases.
And like other posters said... Yikes, to the whole situation is right.
I get where you are coming from. They are idiots. I really felt that way about my beebee FSIL. Then I kind of stepped back and looked at the other aspects of the situation and realized that she (like your BIL/FSIL) are really just lost kids and have a huge wake up call coming to them when they realize what it is like to be married and have a baby and pay bills and own a house and blah, blah, blah.
Especially when their support system is probably going to massively fail on them. It's going to be tough for them for a long time. The least we can do (as older, wiser people who have been there) is let go of whatever anger/resentment/whatever that we have and be there for them if they need us. I'm not saying we should bend over backwards and buy them everything they want and enable them to still be beebees, but we need to keep our minds open and at least be supportive in reality (does that make sense?)
i think you're being petty, but ultimately if they get their heads on straight they'll be happy to have a nasal aspirator.
and i think you're really at bottom here insulted that they didn't want to carry with them to their new home a precious memory of your kid in the form of a dinosaur romper. these shallow people don't give a shit, nor are they requried to, that their progeny's cousin likes dinosaurs.
be glad they're leaving. you need to get the hell over it. they're annoying, immature, and MOVING AWAY.
Post by eightangryreindeer on Jul 10, 2012 11:11:11 GMT -5
I think it's dumb and petty to "reprimand" their stupidity with your choice of gift. Sure it's stuff they need, you know that, they'll figure that out.
I'd return it all and give the Baby Gap GC as suggested*. Maybe they can weave a pack and play out of $40 onesies.
*Just to keep the peace, you know? You're not going to teach them a gd thing, plus you've got the whole WE TRIED FOR A YEAR AND THEN YOU TWO IDIOTS GOT PREGNANT FIRST (Master Major Mistake) vibe going in your tone.
And I disagree that buying off the registry isn't petty. I mean, it's not an atrocity but it seems like you are doing it kinda to spite them and kinda because you know better what they need. The first is petty, IMO. The second one, not petty.
Honestly, kind of both. Which is why I am feeling a little petty. I spent just as much on the essentials as I would have on a couple of nice outfits. But my thinking is that, they really will need this stuff and they will be alone when the baby comes. It really will help them.
When I said screw them and that they needed someone to show them - I meant through the gifts.
Our family is passive aggressive too. No yelling or fights. Just manipulative moves. Lol.
I would find it very hard to bite my tongue. But they will be in for a rude awakening when baby comes along and they realize that the money spent on the few designer clothes would have been better spent on tons of onesies, bibs, burp cloths, and other baby necessities.
I agree with what you bought for them. They may not be excited to get your gift, but in the near future they will be thankful for the necessities.
In the meantime, sit back, relax, and enjoy the show...
and i think you're really at bottom here insulted that they didn't want to carry with them to their new home a precious memory of your kid in the form of a dinosaur romper. these shallow people don't give a shit, nor are they requried to, that their progeny's cousin likes dinosaurs.
I'm riding this bus. A basket of essentials really is a good gift, but let's not pretend like your initial idea of a dinosaur outfit to 'remind the kid of its cousin' wasn't on par with designer baby clothes.
You care way too much about these people and I'm not even sure why you're spending this much thought and effort on people you don't even like. I'd have bought them a bag of diapers and a card and called it good.
I have all the books I could need, and what more could I need than books? I shall only engage in commerce if books are the coin. -- Catherynne M. Valente
Also, I'm not understanding the hate you have for these people anyway. Yes, they are silly, stupid, and shallow but homeboy knocked up a chick, decided to keep the baby, and then omigosh, had the nerve to go get gainfully employed and them marry this girl so they could afford to raise their stupid, polo shirt wearing oopsie baby.
I think they judge and snark on you just as hard as you do on them and it's likely a draw as to who the winner is.
You care way too much about these people and I'm not even sure why you're spending this much thought and effort on people you don't even like. I'd have bought them a bag of diapers and a card and called it good.
Moving on.
Meh. It is my husbands brother. Will be his nephew. We certainly care. I am being petty, but we care.
Also, I'm not understanding the hate you have for these people anyway. Yes, they are silly, stupid, and shallow but homeboy knocked up a chick, decided to keep the baby, and then omigosh, had the nerve to go get gainfully employed and them marry this girl so they could afford to raise their stupid, polo shirt wearing oopsie baby.
I think they judge and snark on you just as hard as you do on them and it's likely a draw as to who the winner is.
when i read this, i hear "family!" sung like "tradition!" from fiddler on the roof in my head.
Meh. It is my husbands brother. Will be his nephew. We certainly care. I am being petty, but we care.
Right but you can care about them, care about your new baby nephew without giving a shit about the ins and outs of the relationship, insurance coverage, and preferences in baby clothes.