Let's Talk Push Presents

[niki]

I got one. It was a sterling silver charm for my charm bracelet (little baby shoe with a tiny sapphire in it) to celebrate the birth.

[HoneySpider]

i think it's stupid. I don't understand why this needs to be a gift-giving event. I've never given birth but don't you already have enough going on that you are worrying about, buying, etc.?

I'm pretty sure DH has no idea what a push present is. I figure when the time comes I will not even bring it up because I know he will also think it's stupid, so what's the point.

[Deleted]

I got earrings with DD's birthstone in them.

I did not ask for them. DH just wanted to get me a present. He most certainly did not call them a push present and probably has no idea what that term means.

Its stupid to ask for one or expect it, but if your SO wants to give you a gift, I think its sweet.

[birdmom]

DH had a dozen long stemmed red roses with a heartfelt note delivered to the hospital the day after I had DS. I wasn't expecting a gift. I got a charm for my bracelet a little while after he was born.

[froggy76]

Stupid and materialistic if the mom DEMANDS one. Cool and sweet if the dad gives something to the mom to commemorate the birth of their baby.

I made a comment to DH a few years ago that I'd love to get a second wedding band when we have a baby. He actually remembered and gave me one right after DD was born. It's been great since my engagement ring and wedding band still don't fit. I can't wait to wear all three bands together.

[mrshandy]

Nope. Not for us. DH has never heard of them.

We needed to save the money we had for umm..the baby, leave without pay and the huge daycare bills looming in the distance.

[badtzmaru22]

I got one. I'm pretty sure DH doesn't know the term push present, or even know it's a "thing". He got me a birthstone necklace, bc DD and I share a birth month. I thought it was really sweet of him, but I was embarrassed he gave it to me while there was a nurse in the room still. Oh well.

[lmb5109]

I think they are ok and sweet.

I have wanted a diamond pendent necklace for years, DH said he's get me one when we have our first baby. We'll see it I get one in December!

[Deleted]

DH waited for Mother's Day to buy me jewelry. He also waited a year. Last year, he upgraded my computer RAM.

I admit that this year, I told him to do something cliche and sentimental. He got me a sliver Small Print necklace with DS's fingerprint on it, which is a pretty cool gift.

I can sort of see something that has some sentimental value (a charm, a birthstone, whatever)... but we're really not gifty people, so it doesn't happen around here.

[liveintheville]

We each got something to commemorate each kid's birth. He got a new watch with kid 1. He has a watch handed down from his father and grandfather and will pass this one along to him eventually.

Kid 2 I got a watch. Kid 2 is a boy but hey I wanted one.

[huey]

DH bought me a necklace from the vintage pearl with LO's name on it. I love it! He wanted to do it to thank me for everything I went through to have the baby. It was also a combo birthday gift since it was a couple weeks later.

I think demanding one is crap and a bit obnoxious.

[BAMFMrsB]

I want a locket so I can put DS's pic in there and carry it with me. I'm not asking for the moon here.

[pugz]

i want a deep freezer

[CloudBee]

Jul 11, 2012 9:37:23 GMT -5 HoneySpider said:

i think it's stupid. I don't understand why this needs to be a gift-giving event. I've never given birth but don't you already have enough going on that you are worrying about, buying, etc.?

I'm pretty sure DH has no idea what a push present is. I figure when the time comes I will not even bring it up because I know he will also think it's stupid, so what's the point.

There's no point in your relationship, if both of you think it's stupid.

Everyone's different.

[pacificrules]

The idea of push presents rub me the wrong way. It makes it seem the woman is owed something, which I don't think is true at all. Maybe an extra nice gift for the first mother's day, but not right after birth.

[Deleted]

I think they're sweet as long as the wife isn't being over the top about it.

I've never gotten one (or requested one). I seriously doubt DH has ever heard of the term and we've never talked about it. But I have told him that I'd like to get a necklace with the kids' names engraved on it someday. He'll probably remember for Christmas, which is fine with me.

[HoneySpider]

Jul 11, 2012 10:14:12 GMT -5 CloudBee said:

Jul 11, 2012 9:37:23 GMT -5 HoneySpider said:

i think it's stupid. I don't understand why this needs to be a gift-giving event. I've never given birth but don't you already have enough going on that you are worrying about, buying, etc.?

I'm pretty sure DH has no idea what a push present is. I figure when the time comes I will not even bring it up because I know he will also think it's stupid, so what's the point.

There's no point in your relationship, if both of you think it's stupid.

Everyone's different.

Huh? I said there's no point in telling my H what a push present is. What does that have to do with anyone else?

[h]

I got a ring with DS1's birthstone when he was born and a necklace with DS2. I love them both. I don't think they are necessary or should be expected or demanded, but I like having jewelry that commemorates important life events. It's like my wedding and engagement rings--a tangible reminder of a day that I treasure and an important person in my life (which is obviously not to say that I wouldn't remember my wedding day or my kids' births without jewelry, but it is still nice). I also like the idea of passing the jewelry on to my boys' wives some day.

I don't particularly like the term "push present," and I don't consider mine some sort of pay-off for going through childbirth. That seems silly to me.

[vegas]

Jul 11, 2012 9:38:47 GMT -5 @iheartcosmos said:

I got earrings with DD's birthstone in them.

I did not ask for them. DH just wanted to get me a present. He most certainly did not call them a push present and probably has no idea what that term means.

Its stupid to ask for one or expect it, but if your SO wants to give you a gift, I think its sweet.

I agree with all of this. DH bought me a necklace with DS's birthstone. I didn't expect anything and DH didn't refer to it as a push gift, he just wanted to get me something nice.

[ssmjlm]

I think a gift to commemorate the child is fine, but I wouldn't demand anything.

[oregonpachey]

I didn't get one but I didn't expect one either.

I have no problem with them as long as someone isn't DEMANDING one. That seems really beebee'ish to me.

[egishere]

I will admit that I hinted around I wanted something and he got me diamond earrings.

[jennlin]

materialistic, but sentimental. i like the idea of it..but didn't get anything. oh well. i don't think it should be anything big, but i *do* think it should be personalized of some sort, and not just random jewelery.

[satama]

Eh, I think it is even fine if you ask for one. I mean if you really want some birthstone jewelry or something, might as well say it instead of expecting your husband to read your mind. I just don't see it as something to get worked up over or care about. How other couples handle gifts is not something I would probably even know about IRL. Like if my BFF got some jewelry from her husband around the birth of her child, I might admire it but I wouldn't ask if she requested it KWIM? I ind of think this "issue" only exists on the interwebs.

Anyway, I got a birthsrone necklace when DS1 was born (he was born right before Christmas though. So maaybe it was really a Christmas gift. Not sure. DH did give it to me in the hospital though), and a birthstone ring for DS2, but I got that on Mother's Day. I did not ask for either one.

The most awesome thing I got though was a huge basket (like a small laundry basket) from DH full of all the things I could not have while pregnant. I had GD so there were all my favorite candies along with a bunch of wine and booze and a gift card for a massage. I joked that he slacked with DS2, but I still got like five bottles of wine and some boxes of Cadbury Eggs.

[drloretta]

I think it's a made-up excuse to expect a gift or give something over the top.

If you want to get something to commemorate a kid's birth, go for it. But the term puts me off.

As i did not push a child out of me, and we aren't into such things, we didn't get anything in particular for DD.

[shell403b]

It's sweet. That said, I didn't get one--I like to joke that b/c I had a c/s, I didn't push; ergo, no gift, LOL.

[Deleted]

I nicely suggested that DH get me another wedding band for on top of my ring. I have so far asked for this for every birthday and anniversary and when we go to Zales to get my ring inspected. When I asked for it after the baby he said maybe. Thats the closest he has even gotten to a yes.

I am pretty sure DH doesnt really know what a push present is but in his excitement of having a baby he may want to get me something.

[sewpinkgal]

My "push present" was a new cherry red washer and dryer. I had wanted to upgrade our very basic set for awhile, but H thought the set we had was fine. After the dryer ate J's coming home outfit and a onesie that H specifically bought for him all by himself (he couldn't have been prouder over it), he had had enough. We were at Sears the next day and they were delivered 2 weeks later.

I think if your partner wants to give a gift that is great. But, if you're expecting it or have specific expectations around it, it's a bit much.

[satama]

Oh, and I had two c -sections, so I guess technicallly I didnt do the pushing required to earn the present.

[Deleted]

Jul 11, 2012 9:38:47 GMT -5 @iheartcosmos said:

Its stupid to ask for one or expect it, but if your SO wants to give you a gift, I think its sweet.

This is what I think. I knew I'd be getting one because H loves to give gifts, but I didn't demand one. But I think giving the mom a gift to commemorate the birth is very sweet. I got a diamond infinity ring ( small diamonds ha) and my idea is to give it to DS at some point or someone in his family (his wife, his daughter, etc).