Whiney vent: it is taking forever to set up our move

[caden]

We are supposed to move to Korea in June or July for DH's work and it is taking FOREVER to get any details from his company. I think my hair will be gray before we even get there. They floated the idea of this assignment in January. We heard almost nothing after that until March. We were supposed to go to korea in March for a look/see trip to rent a place and enroll the kids in school, so that's not happening since march is now almost over. We are trying to nail that down to early April but it's impossible to figure out who to call and have that person respond quickly. I'm a planner so it's driving me crazy that I have no clue when we're going, what our budget will be, where my kids will go to school, where they will get speech therapy, what we need to move, what the details of DH's expat package are.... And although it may seem like we have time, we don't because I won't have childcare for most of April (kids are not going on the look/see) and in May DH & I are visiting China for 2 weeks, in what has to be the most ill-timed clusterfuck of a vacation we have ever planned. We don't even have our passports right now because they're in Chicago getting Chinese visas. Whiiiiiiiiiiiiine.

Is this a typical frustration - companies that feel no need to communicate in a timely and thorough manner?

[anna7602]

Could be typical. We started talking about the move in April/May and were supposed to be there by September, when the school year started. Everything was pushed back due to administrative stuff, we were scrambling in November during our house-hunting trip to find DD a spot in a preschool to start in January and our visa appointments didn't end up taking place until Dec. 28th. They had to rush expedite the visas because HR had already purchased our plane tickets and DH's bosses in Paris were waiting for him to work. He started doing stuff remotely in December while still managing to do his job here.

Very stressful all around.

[caden]

Mar 24, 2014 11:27:11 GMT -5 neeps said:

It can be typical frustration. It usually depends on how urgently they want the relocation to happen. There are the moves where, "We think you'd be a good fit for this role." Then there are the moves where, "Holy shit, the business is falling apart get your ass there now." Both our moves to the UK took forever. Part of that is the UK visa process, but they were both "would be nice" moves. The move to Russia happened at warp speed. When we moved back to the US, DH really had to push repeatedly to get it done before I hit the no fly window with my pregnancy. If upper management isn't leaning on the relocation company, then they just mosey along at their own pace.

Also, from my friend anecdotes it seems that when companies are trying to handle the relocation themselves, instead of hiring out to a dedicated relocation company, there are usually lots of bumps in the process. Don't be surprised if you don't end up moving until September or October. Welcome to expat life.

I would be so pissed if that happened. They did hire a relocation company. Not that I know the name or how to contact them. Nothing useful like that, but they exist somewhere.

[caden]

Mar 25, 2014 9:27:18 GMT -5 neeps said:

Mar 24, 2014 12:39:43 GMT -5 caden said:

I would be so pissed if that happened. They did hire a relocation company. Not that I know the name or how to contact them. Nothing useful like that, but they exist somewhere.

This is more the frustration of being the "trailing spouse." Don't expect the relocation company to involve you much, if they even involve you at all. The trailing spouse is a pretty impotent role. It's all about the employee they're relocating. You (and the kids) are just excess baggage. Even with the irritations, expat life is worth all the hassles.

I'm speaking like I'm synonymous with DH. He has no details either. But I'm glad to know it's worth it!!

[Brit]

I think it is normal. When we moved to India, we heard about it in March and didn't leave until June or July.

For our move to Dubai it was even longer. The process began in April, our (my) house hunting trip was in September, and the move was in October.

It won't really help to do house or school hunting until you are about to move anyway. You will want schools to be near your house, but you probably can't sign a lease until a month or so before you move in because most companies wont want to pay more than a month or so of extra rent, which kind of makes sense.

Deep breaths. Patience. Relinquish control.

[Deleted]

It can be really frustrating -- I'm definitely a "planner" and get a little bit of anxiety when I don't know what to expect or can't visualize what's going to happen. I used to get a LOT of anxiety, but I'm getting better at that.

You can totally do it all on really short notice It will all come together :-)

[rupertpenny]

I can definitely commiserate. Our moving process didn't even take that long but the waiting and the inability to plan anything were TORTURE. It took almost exactly four months from the time I received a formal offer to the time I showed up for work and that was without the help of any kind of relocation service. My employer helped with the visa process, but we did everything else ourselves. Luckily it all happened very quickly once our visas were finished.

[GilliC]

I'll add more to neeps list. There's also the "We need you to move, but we kind of forgot about all the logistics" issue and the "There's something more urgent going on right now!" delay.

Does the company do international moves frequently? Is North America to Korea a common move?

I've found that things tend to move more slowly in uncharted territory. My first move was US-to-China on a special contract they'd created just for our project. There was much chaos as they didn't have all the little details sorted out until the problems started popping up.

I've also been in plenty of relocation situations where they just didn't get around to stuff for a while, because there were more urgent things happening. Product releases, reorganizations, etc.

Honestly, I really wouldn't expect that many details yet. We did our househunting trip for China in August, and we moved a few days into October. Before the househunting trip, we had almost zero information about Beijing. We had a few answers about the contract (housing allowance, tax assistance, home travel, etc) but that was about it.

And when we moved from China to Norway, it was just over 3 months between the offer and the move. We hadn't even floated the idea of leaving China until the 4-month mark, so then they found an option in Norway, we accepted, they started the visa process, and as soon as the visa was approved, we were on a flight a week later. We'd never even set foot in Norway, so we were in a service apartment for about a month while we found a place to live and our shipment was in transit.

Just consider this practice for being patient and just accepting to some extent what comes along. These are both skills that will be essential after the move!

[Brit]

Mar 27, 2014 11:13:03 GMT -5 GilliC said:

Just consider this practice for being patient and just accepting to some extent what comes along. These are both skills that will be essential after the move!

This exactly! There will be so many situations where you have no idea what is going on and just have to say f-it and let things happen. That was my big life lesson in India.

[caden]

Mar 27, 2014 11:32:32 GMT -5 Brit said:

Mar 27, 2014 11:13:03 GMT -5 GilliC said:

Just consider this practice for being patient and just accepting to some extent what comes along. These are both skills that will be essential after the move!

This exactly! There will be so many situations where you have no idea what is going on and just have to say f-it and let things happen. That was my big life lesson in India.

I am so bad at that. Good advice though. I will try to adjust my attitude.

DH's company is one of the biggest employers in the world and they do ship people off, to korea & elsewhere, frequently. I think it's because they're so huge that it takes a long time to get things approved. That said we did hear from the relocation company today. And of course OF COURSE their recommended dates for our look/see trip are when we're in China on vacation. I don't want to go just before/after that either because of childcare issues so we're going to try to get them to be flexible :::::trying once again to adjust attitude:::::

[UnderProtest]

caden

I am actually surprised about how fast yours is moving. We were approached in February about the possible move, he got an offer letter in November, had our house hunting trip (which was really early for their standards) in December and he moved here in early February. It takes a lot of patience to deal with it all. I'm definitely the planner of our family and the lack of communication from my husband's company drove me nuts (and still does).