Delaying TTC due to finances

[thedash]

Did you do this? Do you think it was the right move or regret it?

Our financial situation is complicated right now. I recently moved to private practice and although it's going well it is still very new. We are comfortable with our savings and could survive on it for at least one year even if my income went to zero. So far it has been small but steadily growing and definitely not zero.

I guess some part of me feels like it's irresponsible to TTC when my income is still so unpredictable. But aside from that we both feel like we are ready to add to our family and that we will be OK financially. And I'm having trouble coming up with a financial goal we should set for when we will start (earning X per month, X total, or having saved X, I guess?).

Sigh. Someone just tell me it's OK to start trying OR that I should wait a few months to start trying and it will be OK.

[thedash]

Good questions! I'm 31 and DH is 32. We got pregnant with DS on month two without BCP but I never charted or did any of that.

We have an unusual childcare arrangement so it would increase about $350/month and we'd have no increased health insurance cost. I may want a double stroller and our swing broke but those are the only big things I can think of that we'd buy.

My concern is that a few good months of private practice does not equal real stability. What if I have three good months, we get pg and then I have four tighter months? And I don't want to wait a few years which is when I would really feel stable in my business.

This is related to me realizing I should have waited until DH earned more to go into private practice, but it's too late for that now. And I don't want to wait for him to change jobs (2-3 years) before we TTC again.

[pitterwoo]

we're waiting. We're otherwise ready and have some good savings, but we're both self employed and our insurance doesn't cover maternity. We'll have to pay for a rider when we are ready to start trying. H recently started a new work venture and we really need to make sure we have a steady income from him first. I feel a little frustrated that we have to wait, but most of the time I think we have a great life as things are now too.

[sugarbear]

DH was laid off two weeks ago and we still plan to TTC (we started this cycle, AFTER he was laid off). We don't want to wait any longer because I have some health issues that I can't really deal with (to my level of comfort) until after I'm finished breastfeeding.

[aspentosh]

We waited for a couple reasons, but the main one was finances. I know there is never a "right time" to have a baby, but I wanted to feel comfortable with where we were and I wasn't with the debt we had. To me it was worth the wait (a couple years, not all for financial reasons) because I knew I could stay home if I wanted to, go back to work, whatever.

[thedash]

I guess I should clarify that other than my unpredicatable income we are in a pretty good place financially. We bought our house 3 years ago and have absolutely no debt other than the mortgage and student loans. We have been good at saving for the past few years and managed to pay for a portion of our wedding, save a down payment, do some major home improvements with cash plus set aside 6 months of my former salary. It seems like with my income over the next few months we will be able to get by but not save the fairly large amounts that we used to each month. That's what is scaring me I guess. It's not like we are just starting out - we're each several years into our careers and being homeowners. We're just at a point where there is some uncertainty to our income for the near to mid future.

I realize that I am totally talking myself into doing this now.

[ssmjlm]

We delayed b/c of a couple things, but finances was a big one. I absolutely think it was the right move as I feel a lot more comfortable ttc now than before.

I probably would have waited a bit longer personally, but my DH will be 40 next year, so for him age became a big factor for him (I'm only 30).

[drloretta]

If you're only delaying or a few months, I don't see the harm in waiting. It's not like you're waiting for a year or 2.

Due to finances, we aren't pursuing another adoption until DH gets a better paying job or we hit the lottery, LOL. Some days I'm OK with that, other days I'm sad/impatient.

[mrssandro]

We did. We wanted to have more wiggle room in our budget so we have been double paying on a vehicle. We plan TTC in October - March in hopes to have a baby in 2013. I think we made the right move. The wait has been crazy but I am feeling much more comfortable with having baby #2 than I was having baby #1. You have to do what you feel is right for your family. GL!

[Deleted]

We did not. We TTC right after we got married (27yrs)--We had 2 lowish paying professional jobs (in the $40Ks), pretty major student loans & a new house with virtually no savings. It took us 6mo to have a successful pregnancy. The most conservative thing we did was buy a "cheap" house & fix it up in that year of ttc/pregnancy. I quit to be a SAHM at 7mo pregnant (at almost 28 yrs old). It worked out completely fine for us & no, I don't regret going ahead with ttc. But to be fair we have amazing, generous & well off parents who we knew would help us out in a pinch. We never needed their help but I guess that's a luxury & piece of mind that a lot of people don't have. My FIL passed away when our first child was 8mo old (he had cancer) & my Dad was well into his 70s--Frankly we didn't feel like we had time on our side & giving our parents grandchildren was important to me (my older brothers do not feel the same way).

[whitepicketfence]

We recently decided that we want a third child and, while we were originally planning on TTC again right away, we've since decided to wait another year or so due to finances. Baby #3 will mean a larger vehicle for us since we can't fit 3 carseats in our current one and we will also need a larger home at some point since we only have a 2BR house and we wouldn't want to squish 3 kids into one bedroom.

Since we still have some consumer debt that we're working hard to pay off, it would make things much easier to also have that paid off first.

[Brie]

We delayed TTC largely for job security reasons. I don't regret it.

[Deleted]

You really sound like you want to TTC now. If I was you, I would.

It probably sounds suicidal, but we're actually one of those "it will all work out" people. We waited until we were generally secure (bought the house, had full-time supposedly permanent jobs with great mat leave benefits, paid off some debts), but we don't budget to the penny. And even if we did, being able to afford a baby back when we TTC was no guarantee everything would be the same nearly 2 years later when we were putting him in daycare.

I think if you can cover the basics of life and you want a baby, you should have a baby. It sounds like you're well past that and don't have a concrete idea of when a better time would be.

[thatgirl2478]

From the title of the post I was going to say yeah it's ok to delay - but then your circumstances aren't what I was expecting.

We delayed TTC for 7 years - partially because of finances, partially because DH was in the reserves & deployable and in grad school. Everyone said 'there's never a good time to have kids' - but there are better times than others. With not knowing if DH would BE here for the birth of his child, we chose to wait. Financialy, we could barely afford the 2 of us and pets the first few years we were married. Two deployments and 2 job changes later, we were in a much better financial position.

Right now, my job is unpredictable. I'm a contractor for the company I worked for previously (had to become a contractor to work remotely). I could be cut at any moment, though that's unlikely (we're looking at 80% odds I'll keep my job through the end of the year and probably about 70% that I'll have it next year barring anything unusual). We are TTC #2.

What kind of private practice do you do? Do you see the market for your line of work changing drastically in the years to come? Can you live on your DH's income? If you had to, how hard would it be to find another job? Just some things to think about.

[jena]

From what you've posted, I wouldn't delay. If you were nearly broke, applying for assistance, unemployed... yeah, then you should delay.

But you're in a good place. Not 100% secure, no. But you have savings for a year. Life is uncertain, don't wait for "perfect", go for it now at "pretty good"... besides, 2.5-3y is a really nice age gap.

[blue1980]

We are delaying TTC #2 right now. I really want another baby and I am getting older, but I also want to be able to SAH with #2 (I work 80% now). DH's job has been unpredicatable and he has horrible health care insurance, so I really need to work to provide good insurance. We have good savings but are still waiting for a possible new job opportunity to come through for DH before we seriously discuss #2.

In your case I would probably go ahead and TTC. While not 100% predictable, it sounds like you are in a really good place with savings/house/daycare/health care.

[madringal]

We probably should have delayed TTC by about 6 months for financial reasons, but the kids were already going to be about 4 years apart, so we just went for it. Financial concerns will be the deciding factor on whether or not we have a third. I already told DH that I want to have no car payments, and I want to be able to work part time while still putting "X" in savings each month. Once he finishes his degree it shouldn't be an issue, but you never know.

[h]

Jul 12, 2012 9:56:31 GMT -5 jena said:

From what you've posted, I wouldn't delay. If you were nearly broke, applying for assistance, unemployed... yeah, then you should delay.

But you're in a good place. Not 100% secure, no. But you have savings for a year. Life is uncertain, don't wait for "perfect", go for it now at "pretty good"... besides, 2.5-3y is a really nice age gap.

This. I would delay if we were in a really bad spot, but it doesn't sound like you are there. A little financial uncertainty would not stop me from TTC if I had plenty of savings and knew I would be able to provide for my kids regardless. Have the family you want to have.

[thedash]

Thanks for all the thoughts! To answer a few questions - I'm a criminal law attorney. I don't see the market getting any worse any time soon. In fact, it is slowly getting better from a low point last year (before I went into private practice). I have someone to help cover cases, etc. while I take a leave and our overhead is very low compared to other private practitioners. My maternity leave will be unpaid but I can work P/T for a portion of it (take 1-2 cases per week to make a little bit) and DH gets about two months of paid leave. I live near my office and we have tons of family support nearby.

We don't quite make ends meet on just DH's salary unless we defer my loans (his income is just a few hundred below our "bare bones" expenses). But if for some reason my business disappeared tomorrow I could do almost any kind of P/T or contract work and make enough to maintain our standard of living. Even a $10/hour retail job would be enough to pay our bills.

And finally, we both really want to keep the option of having a third child. Waiting to TTC #2 when I'm 32+ seems like it makes that less likely. If we do have a third I'd like a little break in between!

DH will almost certainly be out of town for work when I ovulate this month. I'm thinking that I will chart this month for informational purposes only. If we are still inclined to try next month then I think we will!