How often do you get out... alone?

[aspentosh]

DH is giving me crap because I rarely leave the house without DD. Sometimes it's just easier for me to take DD since I'm nursing her and I hate pumping if I don't have to but I know he's right.

Maybe I should specify for BFing mamas, but I'll keep it open.

How often do you get out of the house and do something for yourself totally alone?
Do you BF or FF?
Or if you BF and now FF/give WCM etc, do you get out more now?

[drloretta]

Is he giving you crap because you're complaining about it, or because he's decided this is a problem? How long can you go between feedings?

When DD was 6 mos, I was getting out once or twice a week for an hour or 2
I FF'd
N/A. DD was EFF

[rootbeerfloat]

I was back at work when my kids were 6m, and I hated to pump if I didn't have to on weekends. I had a stash, but if I were away too long, I'd get full and need to pump. So maybe I'd leave for a few hours, but not usually longer than that unless it was a special occasion.

[aspentosh]

Jul 12, 2012 18:52:50 GMT -5 drloretta said:

Is he giving you crap because you're complaining about it, or because he's decided this is a problem? How long can you go between feedings?

I just asked and he said I don't complain about it, so I guess he's decided it's a problem

In the morning she'll go a bit longer- 3 hours maybe? Later in the day (especially when I've pumped both sides all day) it's more like 1.5-2 hours.

ETA: He just said "I want you to find something fun for you to do. A release for you."

[hannamarin]

I FF and over the first 4 mths, I left her for 2 hours to get my hair done, 1 hour for a focus group and 30 min to buy a monitor.
We went out together at 5mths
I liked being with her. I wasnt upset. My H encouraged me to get out, but I am a homebody.

[karinothing]

I think the most I ever left without a pump was 4 hours. Longer than that I bring the pump with me, which means pumping in the bathroom of one of the nicest hotels in DC. GO me

ETA: To be clear, this doesn't happen very often. I work FT so I like to be with DS when I am home.

[Deleted]

I've gone to a wedding of one of my good friends from law school and was away from DS for about 4 hours total. BUT he is only 2 months (and I'm BFing) so I think that's part of it.

[bunch]

I've left the house twice in 11 mos for more than 4 hrs (once I came back and fed her, once I pumped). We've done date nights, but I don't have to pump with those. I'm with you on hating to pump. I go out myself on weekends for an hour or two at a time, but that's it. I'm not upset by this. I do need more "me" time, but not usually when I have easily available child care.

[aspentosh]

So I'm not totally crazy. Yet

I think I will be getting a mani and pedi on Saturday. So there, DH!!

[bunch]

Fwiw, I was embarrassed to type this out. Today at the y I admitted it was the first time I'd left her with someone other than family. It just hadn't been necessary yet.

[hannamarin]

Last weekend, I went to the mall alone because I wanted to try clothes on. I called my H on the way home to say I was going for groceries and should I pick up the baby. I think i was so pathetic I felt guilty leaving her so long. But when my H jumped at the offer, I realized he was also not used to being alone and entertaining her.

[mrshandy]

I was studying for an exam during my maternity leave, so I would meet with my study group once a week for 2 hours starting around 5 weeks or so. I didn't pump when I was away, but did pump during DS morning nap so DH had something to feed him.

Once I went back to work full time at 12 weeks, I would sometimes go out with neighbors and friends for a few hours during the evening.

Now that DS is older (almost 2) I get out once a week for long runs on the weekend and occasional nights out, maybe once every 2 months.

DH and I try to do a date night every month.

[mie]

How often do you get out of the house and do something for yourself totally alone?
Not very often because I hated pumping. When my girls were younger, I was usually gone for a couple of hours and back for their next feeding.

Do you BF or FF?
BF

[drloretta]

Jul 12, 2012 19:00:38 GMT -5 aspentosh said:

Jul 12, 2012 18:52:50 GMT -5 drloretta said:

Is he giving you crap because you're complaining about it, or because he's decided this is a problem? How long can you go between feedings?

I just asked and he said I don't complain about it, so I guess he's decided it's a problem

In the morning she'll go a bit longer- 3 hours maybe? Later in the day (especially when I've pumped both sides all day) it's more like 1.5-2 hours.

ETA: He just said "I want you to find something fun for you to do. A release for you."

I will admit, in the early months I rarely left the house, with or without DD. I became a total homebody. And it didn't bother me one bit.

But DH has a hobby that he would go to practice once a week, and an event once or twice a month. We decided that we each needed some "me time" during the week. Both for me to get a break (as a SAHM) and him to get some bonding time with DD.

So every other Thursday he'd go to practice, and every other Thursday I'd go to my knitting circle or choir practice. Just enough time to get out of the house, talk to adults, and do something creative. It's changed a bit now that DD is older and we moved. Now I get my yoga class on Tuesday nights.

We also take shifts on the weekends. DH has her in the morning before her nap, and I can do what I want then--errands, puttering around the house, whatever. After her nap she's all mine and DH can work on his stuff or head out to Home Depot

[aspentosh]

Jul 12, 2012 20:57:49 GMT -5 drloretta said:

Jul 12, 2012 19:00:38 GMT -5 aspentosh said:

I just asked and he said I don't complain about it, so I guess he's decided it's a problem

In the morning she'll go a bit longer- 3 hours maybe? Later in the day (especially when I've pumped both sides all day) it's more like 1.5-2 hours.

ETA: He just said "I want you to find something fun for you to do. A release for you."

I will admit, in the early months I rarely left the house, with or without DD. I became a total homebody. And it didn't bother me one bit.

But DH has a hobby that he would go to practice once a week, and an event once or twice a month. We decided that we each needed some "me time" during the week. Both for me to get a break (as a SAHM) and him to get some bonding time with DD.

So every other Thursday he'd go to practice, and every other Thursday I'd go to my knitting circle or choir practice. Just enough time to get out of the house, talk to adults, and do something creative. It's changed a bit now that DD is older and we moved. Now I get my yoga class on Tuesday nights.

We also take shifts on the weekends. DH has her in the morning before her nap, and I can do what I want then--errands, puttering around the house, whatever. After her nap she's all mine and DH can work on his stuff or head out to Home Depot

This is kind of where I am at right now. I am a homebody by nature, minus the trips to stores. I'm not looking to a join a team. I'm not looking to start a new hobby. I am content GBCNing, reading news, listening to music, etc.

DH plays softball every week and golfs once a month-ish and I think he feels bad that I don't have anything like that.

The problem comes with money, too. I can't think of anything I want to do that wouldn't cost money each time, whereas most/many of his activities are free. He doesn't care that I'd spend money, but I do.

[Ashley&Scott]

At least once a weekend I'll run errands solo. Sometimes it's less than an hour, sometimes it's a little longer. I try not to be gone longer than 3 hours at once because I don't like pumping either. (I BF)

What seems to work best for us is for me to leave right after a feeding. At that point DS is either taking a nap or has play time with DH..

[birdmom]

I go to work. Other than that, I usually have DS with me. H tells me to get a hobby. Like you, I'd prefer not to spend money, but it doesn't matter if I do. I got a puppy, and I plan on doing all of the agility training and stuff with him. When DS is a little older, he can do it, too. I'm a homebody, so I don't really mind hanging at home with DS, or having him tag along with me to wherever I'm going.

[whitepicketfence]

I get out of the house by myself at least once a week. I have a bible study group that meets every other Tuesday night and on the weeks we don't meet, I go grab a coffee and read at Barnes and Noble for a few hours.

Both of my girls were/are FF, so that made things much easier. Now that they're a bit older, that helps, too.

[wordtothewise]

Other than for work? Usually about once a week. We FF, so that isn't an issue.

[nabum]

How often do you get out of the house and do something for yourself totally alone? At 6 months (outside of work) I left the house alone for a few hours a week. Usually to go run errands, go to the gym, etc.
Do you BF or FF? At that point I EBF
Or if you BF and now FF/give WCM etc, do you get out more now? We do supplement now, but I don't leave him any more frequently than I did. I work and hate to miss out on any additional time with him so I try to schedule outings around his naps or after he goes down for the night.

[pinkdutchtulips]

Never .. last time was to see Avatar .

[Deleted]

I started yoga again in September, when DS was 4 months and took that once a week until it stopped in April. That was a bit over an hour once a week.

It is good to have a bit of time away, and it doesn't have to require giving bottles.

Now, I have more mom guilt / less desire to leave because I'm gone to work a lot. I do still have monthly bar dates with my mom's group. Timed to miss bedtime.

[jinnifah]

Not very often. I've made a couple quick 30min grocery trips in between feedings. And I had one lovely weekend ata family function where mil took care of DS all day - I just hunted them down every 3hrs to nurse.

I do get a couple of baby free hours at home most every day when dh takes DS out for a stroll

ETA: we've been trying to teach DS to take a bottle but he's been refusing them, so that's a big part of it. Once he can be left alone more than 2.5 hrs without my boobs, his grandparents have offered to take him for us to have weekly date nights.