I Only Want One Mom

[twotrue]

JB has said she only wants one mom a few times over the past 9ish months.  But this past week she said it to K.  And of course when she says she only wants one mom she means she only wants me.  In the past, when she asks about having two moms I've told her about different families and how she is lucky to have two moms.  She now says she doesn't want to be lucky anymore.  It breaks my heart.  I know she is trying to figure out how not to be different from other kids.  One of her teachers is gay and she and her wife have twin boys so I've explained to JB that our family looks like Teacher C's family.  And there are many kinds of families, yada, yada. 

Anyone have words of wisdom?

[CrazyLucky]

I'm sure this is hard on you and you might feel like it's extra hard due to the two moms aspect. But all kids this age break their mom's heart at some point. They all have some form of "I don't like you, I like Daddy or Grandma."
When DS is mean (He'll be four next month), I try to turn it around on him. How would you feel if Daddy said he didn't like you anymore, only liked your sister? I'm trying to teach him to think about other people's feelings, but I know at this age they are very self-centered, even the good ones.
I'm sorry you're going through it. I guess all I can say is, you're not alone.

[bluedaisyus]

I dread the day this happens in our house. I know it will at some point, I think all kids do some version of it like Sue Sue says (I know I did, my poor mom), but envisioning him saying "you're not my REAL mom" to me breaks my heart. I don't really have any advice, just lots of hugs.

[twotrue]

Thanks all. I know kids all says something like this at one time or another. I think it hurt mostly because I know it was less about her trying to hurt DW and more about her trying to figure out how to be like the other kids.

There is a group of gay parents around here that we used to do brunch with. It's been awhile but I think I should plan a gtg so DD can see more families like ours and more kids her age with two moms.

sent by phone

[mel]

I'm having a hard time right now because C is very attached to my ex and I am his bio parent. It makes me feel like I've done something wrong along the way.

Kids do this though. They go through phases where they prefer one parent over the other and say things like "I only want her" or "I hate you". It's heartbreaking but it will pass.

[kershnic]

I have no advice that hasn't been shared already, but I'm sorry you're dealing with this.

Apr 15, 2014 15:56:32 GMT -5 bluedaisyus said:

I dread the day this happens in our house. I know it will at some point, I think all kids do some version of it like Sue Sue says (I know I did, my poor mom), but envisioning him saying "you're not my REAL mom" to me breaks my heart. I don't really have any advice, just lots of hugs.

I am imagining trying to pick up the pieces of my heartbroken wife the first time one of the girls says this.... I know it will happen someday, but it makes me so sad.

[quinny]

TT - E and I are planning a play date at her house (or area) some Sunday in the next couple weeks. Join? I kind of forced myself on her, LOL

It's going to kill me when I go through this with the boys.

[seattlekari]

I can't add anything that hasn't already been said, but I just wanted to send hugs your way twotrue. Thinking of you...

[2brides]

I am sorry. That sucks. I agree that is it just her lashing out/finding your (K's) weak spot and honing on it. thankfully, we haven't gotten there (yet), but it will crush L.

[Deleted]

In households across the world there are kids saying "I wish I had two moms, they are way cooler than you!" The grass is always greener and all that.