National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW) Statuses

[krystee]

I just posted...and the first person to like it was the former chief of my company. I feel simultaneously very shy and kind of empowered for talking about it.

[krystee]

I am so glad I posted. Thanks for the reminder, rachelgreen! People have texted me to thank me for talking about it. One was someone whom I incorrectly assumed got a super quick BFP when they announced their pregnancy (I don't know why I assumed that except that they are young). They did IVF.

[rachelgreen]

Apr 20, 2015 19:32:36 GMT -5 krystee said:

I am so glad I posted. Thanks for the reminder, rachelgreen! People have texted me to thank me for talking about it. One was someone whom I incorrectly assumed got a super quick BFP when they announced their pregnancy (I don't know why I assumed that except that they are young). They did IVF.

That's awesome to hear!! I liked your post earlier on FB. My husband made my profile pic his cover pic


I think I might keep zombie-ing this thread every year. Then newbies 5 years from now will go, "so I just liked things from 2014??"

I will also be sure to add any new statuses I come up with or come across and put them in the original post. I really liked mine from yesterday but it has a more SAIF feel to it.

[shoeless]

Apr 20, 2015 23:13:21 GMT -5 rachelgreen said:

Apr 20, 2015 19:32:36 GMT -5 krystee said:

I am so glad I posted. Thanks for the reminder, rachelgreen! People have texted me to thank me for talking about it.

I think I might keep zombie-ing this thread every year. Then newbies 5 years from now will go, "so I just liked things from 2014??"

I will also be sure to add any new statuses I come up with or come across and put them in the original post. I really liked mine from yesterday but it has a more SAIF feel to it.

I support this idea   Despite being open with our friends and family it honestly never dawned on me to post about it on FB.  The out pouring of support and love has been amazing and a number of people have commented with similar struggles and admiration for my post.  For those who have never posted on FB about your struggles, I recommend it (and I never thought I'd feel that way).

[awick14]

Well I couldn't sleep, so I came out on Instagram. I don't know how I feel about this yet but it's a good first step.

[swiftlyirun]

I don't know if this has already been posted, but I just saw it on HuffPo and it's really great

www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/04/21/what-couples-struggling-with-infertility-want-you-to-know_n_7101678.html

[oneslybookworm]

So glad to see this post. I haven't came out anywhere except on my anonymous blog, but I've considered coming out on Instagram. For those of you who have, did you talk with DH prior to saying anything, or just go for it?

[kdogg]

Apr 23, 2015 8:58:42 GMT -5 oneslybookworm said:

So glad to see this post. I haven't came out anywhere except on my anonymous blog, but I've considered coming out on Instagram. For those of you who have, did you talk with DH prior to saying anything, or just go for it?

I asked DH first, and he was more than fine with it. Whatever helps me out he says! lol

[callmehales]

Apr 23, 2015 8:58:42 GMT -5 oneslybookworm said:

So glad to see this post. I haven't came out anywhere except on my anonymous blog, but I've considered coming out on Instagram. For those of you who have, did you talk with DH prior to saying anything, or just go for it?

i'm still debating coming out too.  i waffle between wanting people to know, and not wanting to become "the infertile girl" and nothing else.

[awick14]

Apr 23, 2015 8:58:42 GMT -5 oneslybookworm said:

So glad to see this post. I haven't came out anywhere except on my anonymous blog, but I've considered coming out on Instagram. For those of you who have, did you talk with DH prior to saying anything, or just go for it?

I mentioned it to DH and he didn't seem to care, so I posted it.

I do have to admit though that the only people on my Instagram are people from here and maybe about 10 others. So it's a small group. I would talk to him about it a little more if I had posted on facebook.

[ilovecandy]

Bumping this for everyone to see. Can't tag on phone

[riffraff]

bump

[krystee]

I am going to the March for Science tomorrow and thinking of making my sign related to this! Anyone have good ideas for better science-related phrasing?

@
It will say in big letters:
"Without Science, I Wouldn' t Be a Mom"
(Photo of kid)

And in smaller letters:
Science has made millions of us parents--and we are grateful.

#NIAW

[ilovecandy]

For anyone tracking in this thread resolve has a pinterest board called niaw and has some great things to.post.

[awick14]

Thanx for bumping this. I came on here to look for it. 😊

[rachelgreen]

I should probably add all the zillion things I've added to my original list over the last couple of years.

I feel kind of proud this still makes the rounds though! Go get 'em ladies! Listen up!

And shameless plug... if you're in the Midwest, especially near Chicago - don't forget to register for the Walk of Hope on June 10th in Park Ridge! I'm doing my best to bring you another fabulous event!!

[rachelgreen]

Apr 20, 2015 19:32:36 GMT -5 krystee said:

I am so glad I posted. Thanks for the reminder, rachelgreen ! People have texted me to thank me for talking about it. One was someone whom I incorrectly assumed got a super quick BFP when they announced their pregnancy (I don't know why I assumed that except that they are young). They did IVF.

Look at you now with your statuses!!!

[rachelgreen]

Lol.

😉

My status today is one from a SAIF standpoint and as the chairwoman of the Walk of Hope so it doesn’t really fit but I can still add more if anyone needs some inspiration.

Zombie thread. Lolz

[pooh8402]

I love this thread so much. Thanks for resurrecting it yet again, Rach.

[seeyalater52]

Thank you for this thread. I’m thinking of posting this week, but it’s hard because I’d love to post it with an article or quote but there isn’t much out there that really resonates for me given the key differences in our experience as a same-sex couple. I’m thinking of writing something more personal that explicitly calls out that infertility can affect any individual or couple and some of the hurdles we faced as a same-sex couple even in a state with a very generous infertility mandate. I feel like it is a perspective that needs a voice but I’m not sure what to say. If I think of something maybe I’ll post it here.

[blt08]

Thank you for sharing these. I spoke publicly for the first time last September when I got my tattoo that memorializes our lost babies. I still don't talk about it often but I think we should. I'll definitely be sharing some of the stuff you post.

[msmerymac]

Thank you for this. I "came out" on social media a few weeks ago, unfortunately while having a bit of a breakdown. But I'd like to do something similar to these posts this year.

[blt08]

Some of the links are broken so I'm going to try and re-post them.

IF 101

resolve.org/infertility-101/

[blt08]

25 things to say/not say

www.huffingtonpost.com/barbara-collura/25-things-to-say-and-not-_b_5197697.html

[rachelgreen]

Apr 23, 2018 7:46:57 GMT -5 seeyalater52 said:

Thank you for this thread. I’m thinking of posting this week, but it’s hard because I’d love to post it with an article or quote but there isn’t much out there that really resonates for me given the key differences in our experience as a same-sex couple. I’m thinking of writing something more personal that explicitly calls out that infertility can affect any individual or couple and some of the hurdles we faced as a same-sex couple even in a state with a very generous infertility mandate. I feel like it is a perspective that needs a voice but I’m not sure what to say. If I think of something maybe I’ll post it here.

Not sure if anything in here is helpful but I found this article:
www.theatlantic.com/notes/2017/01/it-seems-every-other-lesbian-is-throwing-around-sperm-and-getting-pregnant/513317/

[rachelgreen]

Apr 23, 2018 13:55:03 GMT -5 blt08 said:

25 things to say/not say

www.huffingtonpost.com/barbara-collura/25-things-to-say-and-not-_b_5197697.html

Barb is an awesome woman! I love that she took the time to be our emencee our first year for our WoH.

[rachelgreen]

Apr 23, 2018 2:28:20 GMT -5 pooh8402 said:

I love this thread so much. Thanks for resurrecting it yet again, Rach.

It’s a walk down memory lane for sure...

[seeyalater52]

Apr 23, 2018 23:35:50 GMT -5 rachelgreen said:

Apr 23, 2018 7:46:57 GMT -5 seeyalater52 said:

Thank you for this thread. I’m thinking of posting this week, but it’s hard because I’d love to post it with an article or quote but there isn’t much out there that really resonates for me given the key differences in our experience as a same-sex couple. I’m thinking of writing something more personal that explicitly calls out that infertility can affect any individual or couple and some of the hurdles we faced as a same-sex couple even in a state with a very generous infertility mandate. I feel like it is a perspective that needs a voice but I’m not sure what to say. If I think of something maybe I’ll post it here.

Not sure if anything in here is helpful but I found this article:
www.theatlantic.com/notes/2017/01/it-seems-every-other-lesbian-is-throwing-around-sperm-and-getting-pregnant/513317/

Oh Rachel, this is amazing!! I hadn’t come across that article and it really reflects our experience on several levels. Thank you so much.

[ilovecandy]

Bumping this for 2019

[seeyalater52]

My status today:

It’s National Infertility Awareness Week. A year ago during NIAW I spoke out about my infertility for the first time, although we’d already been in the trenches for a while. I had just won my battle against my insurance company to cover IVF and we were full of hope for the future. A year of physically intense and soul-crushing IVF treatment and 3 miscarriages later, I feel like a different person entirely. There are days that I wake up in the morning and still cannot believe that this is our life and not a horrible nightmare. Our life is frozen in time while everyone else’s appears to be moving forward. I have been the best wife, friend, sister, daughter, and coworker that I know how to be as I have struggled to manage this heartbreak, but I’ve failed a lot of the time. This year, as we try to come to terms with the fact that I am almost certainly not going to be able to get and stay pregnant, I will continue to need your grace, patience, and love.

Infertility is not something anyone can truly understand unless they’ve experienced it, but a little empathy goes a long way. Support can take many forms, but it doesn’t ever look like unsolicited opinions, judgements, or advice. Avoid platitudes and reassurances that things will work out, because when all is said and done not everyone gets to have the family they wanted - even if they are lucky enough to be able to access the best treatment available. That’s the side of infertility that is uncomfortable and dark and difficult for many people to accept. Everything does not happen for a reason; sometimes you just pull the short straw in life. It is difficult to reconcile that despite incredible medical advancements there are many questions that reproductive science cannot yet answer: about why someone young and perfectly healthy cannot yet pregnant without intervention, about what causes recurrent pregnancy loss when all your tests come back completely normal, about what to do next when you’ve already tried the most advanced treatments available.