WWMLD- wedding gift?

[Bernadine]

So, a few months ago I was looking for an inexpensive dining room set, just to fill the room for a few years, until we could buy something nicer.  J's mom saw one, and I did like it, but didn't get it at the time.

After that, my parents generously offered to buy us a dining room set as a wedding present.  And not a cheapy set- a really nice set.

Well, now J's mom wants to buy us the inexpensive set for a wedding present.  And I feel bad saying that my parents offered, because I feel like it's throwing it in her face that my parents have more money.  I wish J had said something when she first brought it up, but he didn't.  Should I just tell him to tell her that my parents offered first?

FWP, right?  Everyone wants to buy us furniture.  Lol.

[tacokick]

You don't have to frame it as they are buying you a fancy set, just that your parents are already getting you a set. I think they'd be fine with that. Maybe have an alternative gift in mind to suggest?

[LoveBug]

I dont think you have to specify that the set your parents buy would be nicer than the set the inlaws would buy. Just say your parents already offered to purchase a set as a gift, that great minds must think alike, etc.

[ECB]

Also for the fact that she picked out a different set, I'd use that.  Your DH can say something to the effect of "We really appreciate the offer.  However, we actually found another set that we're going to get and just through circumstance, her parents offered to buy it. "

It's not about the $$.  You found a different set and it worked out that your parnets are going to buy it.  If she gets upset or says something about "but I had offered!", your DH could just try to claim that he didn't feel comfortable coming back to her, months later, to ask her to buy it.

[Deleted]

I agree with you later found another one that worked better and your parents decided to make that your gift from them. But be ready with a few other 'big' items she could purchase instead if she asks. Because she probably will and there's nothing worse than getting "oh you don't have to do that!" Or thinking of more ideas and repeatedly hearing done one else is already buying that too.

If you really can't think of anything I like people can always use a nice set of knives, pots and luggage.

[karmasabiotch]

Tell her that your parents offered to buy you one but that was such a nice thought on their part. Have something else ready if they ask what they can buy you. Maybe a card table and chairs? Luggage?

[thelurkylulu]

Can you just thank her and tell her your parents have already ordered you something?