I've been answering the question, "What grade is your son in?" for nine years, and even now I'm never quite sure what will come out of my mouth. In some ways, it's actually getting harder to answer. The older G gets, the farther off the map of traditional education we seem.
G has been attending The Clearwater School since age four. Clearwater is a Sudbury school, a democratic school based on freedom, trust, and responsibility. Kids have as much of a say in running the school as adults. Not only are there are no grades, tests, or homework, there is no curriculum: G has total responsibility for his own learning. It is kind of like unschooling in a big mixed-age group.
When G was elementary-school age, people were often surprised to hear he spent his school days doing whatever he chose, but there is more mainstream acceptance of the value of play for younger kids. Now that he is 13, their surprise borders on alarm as they ask, "How long will he stay there? Won't he go to a 'real' high school?" Somehow, it no longer sounds cute, and when I say he'll stay there through high school if he wants to, I get looks of disbelief.
I chose this school because I didn't want G to feel the pressure that kids can get "to live up to their potential." I wanted him to know what makes him happy, and to follow his interests. I didn't want his natural curiosity dulled by school, and it hasn't been. Everything he's learned has been something he wanted to learn — but usually he learns by doing things that society doesn't recognize as educational.
Each student has a vote in all decisions about the school's day-to-day operations, and the meetings can feature vigorous debate.
For years his focus at school has been computer and role-playing games, but now he also plays a lot of Ultimate Frisbee and soccer (he was in a neighborhood soccer league for two years, but he prefers the ambience of a mixed-age, co-ed, pick-up game — go figure). He is captivated by the party game Mafia, and often spends a few days thinking up a new permutation of the game, and then recruits a group of people at school to test it out. Right now he's in an acting class, and recently recruited two other students to perform a scene from The Tempest with him at the annual school festival. As a member of the Computer Committee, G helps maintain all the school computers.
He is also increasingly active in the democratic life of the school. Each student has a vote in all decisions about the school's day-to-day operations, and the meetings can feature vigorous debate. When G was younger, he didn't participate unless an issue especially interested him, but he now attends every meeting. A staff member (at Clearwater, we don't call them teachers) who has known G since he was four told me she appreciated his involvement in a recent discussion about a proposed rule. She was impressed by G's heartfelt commitment to individual rights and the way he stuck to his guns. (My son's version was "the whole meeting was basically just me and R arguing.")
Clearwater staff model a high level of respect for children and their interests, and relate to them without a trace of condescension. (Says G: "They don't assume that just because they're adults, they can help.") Older students also treat younger kids like people — not that they're always nice to the little ones, but they don't put them down just because they are younger. G has friends of all ages, and is passionately against all age-discrimination. He's argued to his grandfather that a four-year-old can be a valuable participant in making a serious decision. He's taken me to task when I jokingly suggested that we not invite my parents to a party because "we can't have as much fun with the old people there."
Being involved in this community has shown me how much children are capable of, and recently I realized I've come to look at adults differently, too. I haven't just learned to profoundly respect children — I've learned a lot about respect, period, and taking people as they come. I'm not free of judgment, but my mind is more open, and I'm more aware of my assumptions about what is and isn't worthwhile — about judging books by their covers. If somebody's hobby or job sounds weird to me, I put aside my knee-jerk reaction and try to find out what (for them) is compelling about it, just like I do when my son tells me about a new game.
The level of respect and trust I have for my son and his choices may seem radical, but to me it has become second nature. My confidence in this model of education has only grown as I've watched how it has helped G become the knowledgeable, eloquent, sensitive person he is. I don't believe that spending hours on the computer designing cards for Magic: The Gathering is a waste of his time, and I think he has as much right to do that as I do to spend hours reading blogs. Sure, I sometimes suggest he rest his eyes or get up and take a walk, and he's been known to say the same to me.
Once or twice when I've said he should do something "because I say so," he's shot back, "that's not the way you raised me!" He's right, and I'm so thankful.
I want to know how well it works out for him when he's 23 and trying to get a real job.
Or is the idea here that he will only do creative things and live off the grid or on other people's money.
To be honest, this quite literally makes me irrationally angry. To be, it's pigeonholing your kid and forcing them into your expectations. You should be helping to provide a wide range of possibilities for your kid. If you want to be a folk singer when you're all grown, that's fine. But this approach pretty much cuts off all mainstream avenues. And while not everyone wants the mainstream, depriving your child of that possibility if they want it is abhorrent to me.
"Not gonna lie; I kind of keep expecting you to post one day that you threw down on someone who clearly had no idea that today was NOT THEIR DAY." ~dontcallmeshirley
"Not gonna lie; I kind of keep expecting you to post one day that you threw down on someone who clearly had no idea that today was NOT THEIR DAY." ~dontcallmeshirley
Post by jeaniebueller on Apr 29, 2014 10:29:46 GMT -5
Yeah, I mean, good for her? I guess. But as we always point out in posts about unschooling, the real world doesn't work that way. Sometimes you have to sit at a desk and do something you don't find pleasant. Sometimes you have to follow rules dictated by someone in a superior position. Life isn't always a democracy. Soemtimes there are rules that are illogical, mundane and just plain boring. And that is part of life. Also, she must have far more patience than I do that she has never used the line "because I said so" with her kid. Either that, or maybe her kid doesn't ask her the same questions over and over like mine does.
I think this would be a great concept for the second half of a school day. Like from 8:30 to 1pm, you take your more traditional classes, at least in core subjects like math, language arts, etc. Then from 1pm to 4pm, you can unschool your little heart out.
Post by omgzombies on Apr 29, 2014 10:42:44 GMT -5
I don't think "focusing on computer and role playing games" are really going to translate to an ability to contribute to society in any real meaningful way. And this comes from a gal that plays a ton of both! RPGs are great for creating narrative and imagination (also for sitting by yourself a lot at lunch), but you need to couple with that with basic knowledge. Some basic history, math, science would probably be fairly beneficial for this kid.
Not to mention that most of society isn't "choose your own adventure". You do have to learn to work within a structure, and sometimes you don't get a say. Welcome to the real world. I have a feeling the kid's going to be in for a bit of a shock later on.
I think it could be good for a kid to have some unstructured time to figure out what their interests and passions are, but it can't be all the time IMO. Its all about balance. Scheduling every part of a kid's day is not great but unscheduling all day is also not great.
I say, great that it seems to be working for this kid and that he's developed interests and passion. I wonder how many kids spend all day on their phones or watching cat videos.
I know I'd spend my work day watching cat videos if I could. And I LIKE my job.
There is a Sudbury school here, and a lot if the families from our preschool, which is a Reggio school, go on there. It would not be my choice, I think it ranks up there with Waldorf.
I think this would be a great concept for the second half of a school day. Like from 8:30 to 1pm, you take your more traditional classes, at least in core subjects like math, language arts, etc. Then from 1pm to 4pm, you can unschool your little heart out.
Alternating weeks like vocational schools do could work too. There's obviously something to be said for wanting kids to be excited about what they're learning, but also, sometimes you just have to learn shit (I'm looking at you trig).
My sideeye is also out in full force right now. HBC's kid would do something so much cooler than play frisbee all day if he was directing his education.
My daughter would never learn to spell if left to her own devices. She doesn't even have that magic thing that makes words look weird if they are spelled in correctly. She just gives no damns like it's Tudor England or something.
My son would probably spend his days reading Star Wars novels, playing terraria, and making stop animation videos. Cooler? Definitely. A good replacement for a decent or even half ass curriculum? Nope.
I would try this if my kid had severe behavior problems and this was the only environment he could learn in. I wonder how much it costs to let her kid play Mafia all day.
There is a Sudbury school here, and a lot if the families from our preschool, which is a Reggio school, go on there. It would not be my choice, I think it ranks up there with Waldorf.
My kids went / go to a Reggio-inspired preschool, and DD's 'preschool boyfriend' is being unschooled at home. Dad's a higher ed administrator and professor.
I actually know quite a few people who unschool, though I don't know anybody personally who sends their kids to a Sudbury school (I'm sure they would if there was one close by, though).
There's quite a big unschooling community here, that I'm definitely not IN (my kid goes to public school FFS), but I get to see the edges of (like, I get invited along for outings and we've gone in the summer/school break times).
Like anything else, it totally depends on how you do it. The sense I get from them is that they see a lot of stuff as educational, and it's just a matter of figuring out what the lesson is from the activity, instead of trying to plan an activity to teach a particular lesson.
It's also about letting the kid come to stuff on their own. Like, they'll learn to read when they're ready to learn to read, and when they do they'll do so quicker and more painlessly because they're ready.
The person I'm closest to who does this, I think she does it right. Her kids have access to a lot of great edu-toys, and basically fill their days figuring stuff out and tinkering. She (and others) have talked to me about unschooling, and I know myself well enough to know that our "unschooling adventure" would consist of watching Disney Junior on the sofa while eating Pirate Booty.
I think there are a lot of good things that public and other schools can learn from the unschooling movement.
Letting kids have some say in their day (the voting thing) is actually something that would be good (do they want to have recess, then lunch, or the other way around?... let them vote if there's no good reason for one over the other)
Understanding that there are things that kids learn from play. I think this is part of the value of Project Based Learning, as well. Just because they aren't reciting times tables doesn't mean they aren't learning multiplication.
Understanding that kids will learn better, easier, with fewer disciplinary problems, if they like (or, better yet, love) what they're doing. Get the kid excited about it, and it'll be easier in the long run. Building that excitement might not look like schooling or education, but IMHO it's an important first step.
Yes, like anything else, unschooling can be done wrong... but I also think that done right it can be a great way for kids to learn. Honestly, though, I think the number of parents (and kids, frankly) who can do this and do it well is MUCH smaller than the number who are actually doing it.
I think this would be a great concept for the second half of a school day. Like from 8:30 to 1pm, you take your more traditional classes, at least in core subjects like math, language arts, etc. Then from 1pm to 4pm, you can unschool your little heart out.
This used to be known as "going home and playing with your friends after school."
So she's proud of the fact that her son has spent the last couple of years playing video games all day long? Instead of, oh I don't know, learning how the US government functions or how to calculate 20% of a restaurant bill?