Husband complaining.

[iamgrace]

FFS I am sick of H's BS lately. I hate bitching about him on here, but it's boiling over lol. 

I was was up every hour with Clare overnight. She is congested and can't sleep or nurse laying down. So ANYWAY at 5:30 the fucking cat starts crawling all over me because H didn't feed her last night, so I get up to feed her. I asked him to let Clare sleep on him if she fussed. He says "grumble, grumble, I guessssss". 

Oh fuck off. 

Anyway, many other small things are adding to my annoyance as well. Like, I said last night, "is the heat on too high? I am hot".  And he said "what, no, it's not hot in here what are you talking about?"  I said "I am too warm!"  He muttered on and on about how I should be specific. I am too warm vs the room being too warm. 

I could go on. 

Stupid things!  Uh. 

[urbancowgirl]

Ugh, I'm sorry. Those things would annoy me, too.

[rupertpenny]

I'm sorry, and I can relate.

Since H and I are new where we live we don't interact much with other people yet. We are both a little kind of at "bitch eating crackers" level with each other recently. We both just need a break from each other AND the kid. Hopefully my H will get a job soon and that will happen.

[pinkpinot]

My H usually gets up with the baby in the morning so I can sleep in a little. Today, he lets the baby in our bedroom. So I'm trying to sleep because we had a rough night last night and the baby is crying at my side of the bed for me to get up. WHAT THE HELL. I bring the baby in the living room and H is just sitting on the couch. Almost throat punched him.

[iamgrace]

It feel like we are always doing stuff with or for the kids and with or for other people. Never just for us or just the two of us. We need a vacation alone so we can decide if we still actually like each other.

Only a little kidding.

[jreeds]

Here, come sit next to me. We can complain together. :drink:

[bittybomb]

My doorbell has been broken for I feel like forever.  Its at least been months.  And my car needs a new windshield wiper for at least the last few weeks.  I forget about the damn doorbell until I'm expecting someone, and then feel dumb saying call/text me when you're here because bell is broken, and I forget about the stupid windshield wiper until its raining.  I have asked my husband to fix these things on dozens of separate occasions. I get it, he forgets too.  BUT IF YOU DO IT WHEN I ASK YOU, THEN YOU WILL NOT FORGET.

And then last night, I was coming home and saw our BRAND NEW patio umbrella had blown into my neighbor's yard, so I called my husband and asked if he had secured it, and his response was, "no, but its a good thing, or it would've snapped in half." Ummm, what?  Not if you closed it?

After that, I had it and made a GIANT BLACK SHARPIE to do list and hung it on the fridge.  Maybe now he'll do it.

I understand you.

[nadasteph]

Apr 30, 2014 8:17:30 GMT -5 iamgrace said:

It feel like we are always doing stuff with or for the kids and with or for other people. Never just for us or just the two of us. We need a vacation alone so we can decide if we still actually like each other.

Only a little kidding.

We're here too.   My 6 month old is not sleeping well and it makes me hate my h just a little.   We argued over whether it was worse to go to work on a few hours of sleep or harder to parent a baby and a maniac toddler on a few hours of sleep.  I wanted to stab him.

[iamgrace]

I want to write my H's to do list on his fucking forehead. Yes.

[firedancer49]

I get it, we go through spurts like this too.

The heat thing made me remember the time my DH got on my case about how I did not sign a check we were cashing completely straight on the line. WTF. He was being completely serious about how pissed off he was that my name was not straight. What do I do now? I never sign it straight.

[jreeds]

Also, on the to do list front...it would be nice to not have to feel like I need to make a big damn deal out of it everytime he does something. H painted our front door the other day, something he was supposed to do ( and said he would do) last fall. Whooo boy you'd think he built Rome he was so proud. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate him doing it and it is something I could certainly do myself but didn't. It's just that for all the other stuff I do around here on the daily WITHOUT needing someone to make me a list, I get a little aggitated that I don't get a parade

[ProfessorArtNerd]

I'm trying to be patient with my H. He lost his friend, he's very deeply upset about this. But he is SO FAR up his OWN ASS it's amazing. Like, I'm upset too, buddy, but I'm continuing on and being present in my life. I'm this far from insisting he go see a counselor at school (for freeeee, just gooooooo) because if he fucks up in school, I will divorce him. HE has put our whole life on hold for FOUR FUCKING YEARS to get this damned degree, so he'd better go balls to the wall to get it done.

[rupertpenny]

Apr 30, 2014 8:46:24 GMT -5 jreeds said:

Also, on the to do list front...it would be nice to not have to feel like I need to make a big damn deal out of it everytime he does something. H painted our front door the other day, something he was supposed to do ( and said he would do) last fall. Whooo boy you'd think he built Rome he was so proud. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate him doing it and it is something I could certainly do myself but didn't. It's just that for all the other stuff I do around here on the daily WITHOUT needing someone to make me a list, I get a little aggitated that I don't get a parade

Yes. My H expects a ticker tape parade for doing the dishes and other mundane shit. JUST DO IT. I will say thank you, but I'm not going to fall all over myself every time.

[hymen]

I'm just annoyed at my H in general. He ticked me off at my bday dinner with his family last night for a number of reasons.

[sugarbear]

God. DH is the same way about sleep. He's more of a fucking baby than the baby. I am the ONLY one who hears the baby cry and I'm still nursing because I'm too lazy to night wean him and I like the cuddles. Fine. But he only needs to nurse once per night (Needs. I know, I know.), so the other 539 times he wakes up, DH should go shoosh him, right?

Never happens.

And on the rare occasion-- RARE-- that I ask DH to snuggle the baby for awhile if he's sick so that I can, oh, I don't know, SHOWER for fuck's sake, or God forbid, sleep in our bed for a couple hours, DH lets out a big siiiiigggghhhhh, and goes and slumps in the chair. He might give the baby a half-hearted jiggle, but otherwise, he pretty much lets him wail.

(I will say, he is an excellent father to our toddler. He just cannot fathom getting any less than 8.75 hours of sleep per night, and is an absolute asshole if he gets anything less than 8.39 hours.)

[spitforspat]

My H works from home and sometimes I just want him to leave. LEAVE.

[iamgrace]

Thanks for the commiseration. I know every relationship has ups and dowsn, but MAN, I have felt down lately. It just seems like evrything goes along as per usual, me quietly fuming, then it erupts, things get better and then back to status quo.

Blargh. I poured a glass of wine. The kids are napping. Whaaaatever.

[speckledfrog]

Nothing a quick nut punch won't fix.

[malibu]

Apr 30, 2014 8:46:24 GMT -5 jreeds said:

Also, on the to do list front...it would be nice to not have to feel like I need to make a big damn deal out of it everytime he does something. H painted our front door the other day, something he was supposed to do ( and said he would do) last fall. Whooo boy you'd think he built Rome he was so proud. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate him doing it and it is something I could certainly do myself but didn't. It's just that for all the other stuff I do around here on the daily WITHOUT needing someone to make me a list, I get a little aggitated that I don't get a parade

This is how my H approaches parenting.

H: "No, I didn't give K a bath. YOU DIDN'T TELL ME TO." (Really? No one tells me to but I know to DO IT, goddammit)
H, on a day it's been 10 degrees outside and he was responsible for bring her to daycare - I pick her up and she's wearing a tank top and capris: "Well, you didn't lay out an outfit for her. I just grabbed something." (IT'S TEN FUCKING DEGREES OUT. Get some common sense, if YOU wouldn't go out in a tank top and capris, what on God's green earth made you dress your child in such clothing?)

I get tired of having to tell him to parent his kid. It's not like I've done this before, she's our only child. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to look at her, see crap stuck in her hair, and know she needs a damn bath. Funny how no one needs to tell me that ten degrees outside warrants long pants, sweaters, hats and mittens.

[crazycakes]

Apr 30, 2014 15:39:51 GMT -5 @booby said:

Apr 30, 2014 8:46:24 GMT -5 jreeds said:

Also, on the to do list front...it would be nice to not have to feel like I need to make a big damn deal out of it everytime he does something. H painted our front door the other day, something he was supposed to do ( and said he would do) last fall. Whooo boy you'd think he built Rome he was so proud. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate him doing it and it is something I could certainly do myself but didn't. It's just that for all the other stuff I do around here on the daily WITHOUT needing someone to make me a list, I get a little aggitated that I don't get a parade

omg, YES.  my H needs to be reminded 35 times to do most things (and this obv causes us to bicker b/c i am like, if you just fucking did it like you said you would, i wouldn't have to ask!) and then once he does it, i was say, 'oh thanks' or 'hey, you did a good job on the garage'.  and THEN after i have thanksed/praised him, he will randomly ask me 100 times over the next day or two, 'hey, did you like what i did to the garage?'

why, yes, i have no told you 4 times that it's great.  ie: the parade. 

Yep, same here. I asked DH to clean up the yard for weeks. He finally does it.

DH: Did you see I mowed the lawn?
Me: Oh yes, thanks! It looks so much better.
DH: Did I do a good job?
Me: Yes, it looks really good. 
DH: I even trimmed the bushes by the porch, did you notice that?
Me: Yes, looks great! Thanks!

An hour later...
DH: I did a really good job on the lawn, huh?
Me: Yep, you did. Thanks for doing that. 

Another hour later...
DH: The lawn looks so much better since I mowed it, doesn't it?
Me: (through clenched teeth) Sure does! It looks great. 

Repeat 100x over the next two days. For every. little. thing. Cooking dinner. Doing dishes. Watching the baby. 

DUDE. THIS IS SHIT I DO EVERY DAY. WHERE'S MY PARADE?

[luckyval]

Been there. Done that. We just finished a cycle of bitch eating crackers fight last week.

I think it's the day to day shit that clouds our perspective. And, much as there are plenty of things they don't do/fuck up, there's also a lot of stuff they do/do right.

[iamgrace]

Apr 30, 2014 15:58:26 GMT -5 malibu said:

Apr 30, 2014 8:46:24 GMT -5 jreeds said:

Also, on the to do list front...it would be nice to not have to feel like I need to make a big damn deal out of it everytime he does something. H painted our front door the other day, something he was supposed to do ( and said he would do) last fall. Whooo boy you'd think he built Rome he was so proud. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate him doing it and it is something I could certainly do myself but didn't. It's just that for all the other stuff I do around here on the daily WITHOUT needing someone to make me a list, I get a little aggitated that I don't get a parade

This is how my H approaches parenting.

H: "No, I didn't give K a bath. YOU DIDN'T TELL ME TO." (Really? No one tells me to but I know to DO IT, goddammit)
H, on a day it's been 10 degrees outside and he was responsible for bring her to daycare - I pick her up and she's wearing a tank top and capris: "Well, you didn't lay out an outfit for her. I just grabbed something." (IT'S TEN FUCKING DEGREES OUT. Get some common sense, if YOU wouldn't go out in a tank top and capris, what on God's green earth made you dress your child in such clothing?)

I get tired of having to tell him to parent his kid. It's not like I've done this before, she's our only child. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to look at her, see crap stuck in her hair, and know she needs a damn bath. Funny how no one needs to tell me that ten degrees outside warrants long pants, sweaters, hats and mittens.

My H has, in the past, on purpose dressed Henry in a ridiculous outfit because I didn't put one out. Are you fucking fucking mother fucking kidding me??


that only happened once. 

[Deleted]

This sounds like my H (especially the wanting a parade/cookie/monument/medal) - only we don't have any kids.

If we do have kids and he continues this, I fear my children would end up fatherless. 

[TC]

Apr 30, 2014 16:07:30 GMT -5 luckyval said:

Been there. Done that. We just finished a cycle of bitch eating crackers fight last week.

I think it's the day to day shit that clouds our perspective. And, much as there are plenty of things they don't do/fuck up, there's also a lot of stuff they do/do right.

You're just saying this because you got to go home and get laid, GTFO! 

I'm kidding! 

I agree that it's the day to day stuff. H is in a really crappy engineering group right now, so I have been picking up his group's slack and it has been great for our marriage to work on something together that isn't about dishes or cooking or money or errands or whatever. Totally seeing the appeal of marriage retreats this week. Before this, I think I wanted to drop kick him approximately 100x a day. 

[bittybomb]

Apr 30, 2014 15:58:26 GMT -5 malibu said:

Apr 30, 2014 8:46:24 GMT -5 jreeds said:

Also, on the to do list front...it would be nice to not have to feel like I need to make a big damn deal out of it everytime he does something. H painted our front door the other day, something he was supposed to do ( and said he would do) last fall. Whooo boy you'd think he built Rome he was so proud. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate him doing it and it is something I could certainly do myself but didn't. It's just that for all the other stuff I do around here on the daily WITHOUT needing someone to make me a list, I get a little aggitated that I don't get a parade

This is how my H approaches parenting.

H: "No, I didn't give K a bath. YOU DIDN'T TELL ME TO." (Really? No one tells me to but I know to DO IT, goddammit)
H, on a day it's been 10 degrees outside and he was responsible for bring her to daycare - I pick her up and she's wearing a tank top and capris: "Well, you didn't lay out an outfit for her. I just grabbed something." (IT'S TEN FUCKING DEGREES OUT. Get some common sense, if YOU wouldn't go out in a tank top and capris, what on God's green earth made you dress your child in such clothing?)

I get tired of having to tell him to parent his kid. It's not like I've done this before, she's our only child. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to look at her, see crap stuck in her hair, and know she needs a damn bath. Funny how no one needs to tell me that ten degrees outside warrants long pants, sweaters, hats and mittens.

Holy shit.  I was SOOOOO embarrassed the other day at my son's basketball practice.  I had to run to the store to pick up a dress for a party, and brought the little guy with me.  When we were done, we met my husband, my older son, and my daughter at the practice.  First of all, my daughter's outfit - I was like "whhhhhaaaaaatttt is that?" and if that were not bad enough, her hair was a knotty mess.  When I called him on it, he told me she doesn't really like it when he brushes her hair.  I rolled my eyes so fucking hard and then brushed my daughter's knotty hair.

[sparkythelawyer]

My husbnand is leaving for Vegas tomorrow for a bachelor party, and its is reminding me how ill-equipped he is at handling the mundane of life. Packing? He requires assistance. Did not think to take his suit to the cleaners. Did not think to re-fill his perscriptions. Oh, there's a problem with one of the re-fills? Now we have to scramble because he cannot go without these medications for a week, etc. I checked him in for his flight - I know we didn't purchase an upgrade but somehow this lucky bastard is sitting in first class! He can't even figure out where the airport is, and he's going to be in first class! Gah.

[malibu]

If I were to die unexpectedly, I shudder to think what the house would look like; how my child would be dressed each day - or if he'd notice enough to see she needed new clothes when she was outgrowing her current size...both sets of parents are nearby so I am sure they'd be there to help him, but I imagine she'd look pretty disheveled most of the time. Don't get me wrong, he's a good dad who loves his child. He just isn't exactly the most observant when it comes to things like this. I also wonder if he'd know what to do when it was time to get her into kindergarten; when she's due for doctor's appointments, stuff like that. I just know how and when to do these things mostly from parenting forums or right here on ML.

Now I feel like I need to go home and make a list of everything he'd need to do for her for the next 15 years!

[Dorothy Zbornak]

Apr 30, 2014 8:17:30 GMT -5 iamgrace said:

It feel like we are always doing stuff with or for the kids and with or for other people. Never just for us or just the two of us. We need a vacation alone so we can decide if we still actually like each other.

Only a little kidding.

This is where I am. Without the kidding.

[Odonata]

So he's really, really sick right now - I've never seen him this bad and he's miserable so I don't want to nag him...

But he's the WORST at sanitation. When I'm sick I'm always washing my hands. I wipe down areas I've been around and lysol the place - or I keep myself to one or two rooms.

Him? I will watch him blow his nose, then cough in his hand, then wipe whatever was left on his nose with his hand, then walk RIGHT over to the fridge and open it and take out some juice, touch the cabinet door to take out a glass.....and I CRINGE. (oh, and coughing in his hands is only a maybe, he sometimes will walk around and just open his mouth and hack).

I feel bad for him and want him to get better, but FUCK. I do not want to get what he has! And we don't even know what he has but it's really bad. (waiting on blood work). I always get sick after him.

And I know I can just wash my hands all the time, too, but they are currently covered (literally) with poison ivy sores and it's hell to even think about washing them. Otherwise, I would have dry cracked fingers right now from over washing. I get so mad that he doesn't think about other people living here while he's sick! And I'm pregnant! Don't get me sick!! I gave him a little thing of hand sanitizer with instructions that if he is going to touch anything in the house outside of the bedroom (where he is quarantined - I'm sleeping on the couch) he NEEDS to at least use the hand sanitizer first. I've already gone through 1.5 cans of Lysol.

[jreeds]

Apr 30, 2014 15:39:51 GMT -5 @booby said:

Apr 30, 2014 8:46:24 GMT -5 jreeds said:

Also, on the to do list front...it would be nice to not have to feel like I need to make a big damn deal out of it everytime he does something. H painted our front door the other day, something he was supposed to do ( and said he would do) last fall. Whooo boy you'd think he built Rome he was so proud. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate him doing it and it is something I could certainly do myself but didn't. It's just that for all the other stuff I do around here on the daily WITHOUT needing someone to make me a list, I get a little aggitated that I don't get a parade

omg, YES.  my H needs to be reminded 35 times to do most things (and this obv causes us to bicker b/c i am like, if you just fucking did it like you said you would, i wouldn't have to ask!) and then once he does it, i was say, 'oh thanks' or 'hey, you did a good job on the garage'.  and THEN after i have thanksed/praised him, he will randomly ask me 100 times over the next day or two, 'hey, did you like what i did to the garage?'

why, yes, i have no told you 4 times that it's great.  ie: the parade. 

We are married to the same man. For real, lol!