6 things men shouldn't tell their wives.

[Deleted]

This doesn't bother me that much expect for the health stuff. If you have a family you need to get that shit checked out. These are things I would tend not to share in a relationship as well. And three sounds kinda douchey, but I think societal pressures are what there are currently and I understand why men may feel this way.

[Deleted]

This is gross.

[bullygirl979]

He makes her (and all other women) look like a nag.

[bullygirl979]

Apr 30, 2014 12:49:11 GMT -5 mp said:

I wouldn't expect a dude to account for every thing he ate/drank while he was away from me - but I hate that this whole thing furthers stereotypes and antiquated gender roles.

Exactly. P will tell me if he binges on donuts. Is it healthy for him given he has pre-diabetes? No. But he is a grown ass man who will make his decisions and live with the consequences. Hence, I don't say anything about it. 

[Deleted]

Apr 30, 2014 12:49:11 GMT -5 mp said:

I wouldn't expect a dude to account for every thing he ate/drank while he was away from me - but I hate that this whole thing furthers stereotypes and antiquated gender roles.

Agreed. 

[Deleted]

Apr 30, 2014 12:49:11 GMT -5 mp said:

I wouldn't expect a dude to account for every thing he ate/drank while he was away from me - but I hate that this whole thing furthers stereotypes and antiquated gender roles.

Yea I can see that. As I was reading it I was thinking that BOTH sexes likely don't share these same things for the most part. So I guess his actual actions don't bother me you know? 

[kitkat1502]

Ick, I don't like this guy or his Karel very much.

#1- I think this one is totally lame. Catching hell from your wife for what you ate?! and then maybe going back for a forth if you catch grief about it??

#5- Makes him sound like an annoying grown-up frat boy.

#6- I get that a little flirting can be a good boost for the ego...but I don't like the "...guy she had a drink with on the plane". Idk, maybe I'm lame but those kinds of things I find more than just flirting and I'd be pretty pissed off.

[Deleted]

Apr 30, 2014 12:52:36 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

Apr 30, 2014 12:49:11 GMT -5 mp said:

I wouldn't expect a dude to account for every thing he ate/drank while he was away from me - but I hate that this whole thing furthers stereotypes and antiquated gender roles.

Exactly. P will tell me if he binges on donuts. Is it healthy for him given he has pre-diabetes? No. But he is a grown ass man who will make his decisions and live with the consequences. Hence, I don't say anything about it. 

Are you going to judge me because I just bought pop tarts at lunch?!?!?!

[bullygirl979]

Apr 30, 2014 12:53:07 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

Apr 30, 2014 12:49:11 GMT -5 mp said:

I wouldn't expect a dude to account for every thing he ate/drank while he was away from me - but I hate that this whole thing furthers stereotypes and antiquated gender roles.

Yea I can see that. As I was reading it I was thinking that BOTH sexes likely don't share these same things for the most part. So I guess his actual actions don't bother me you know? 

Correct, but what bothered me is his perceived disapproval from his wife. Like, if he told her he ate 3 sandwiches she would give him a hard time. It isn't like: it's none of her business and I don't care what she eats so I don't tell her. It's more like: Ooohh! She'd yell and nag if I told her what I ate. So it'll be my secret!

[bullygirl979]

Apr 30, 2014 12:53:31 GMT -5 doglove said:

Apr 30, 2014 12:52:36 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

Exactly. P will tell me if he binges on donuts. Is it healthy for him given he has pre-diabetes? No. But he is a grown ass man who will make his decisions and live with the consequences. Hence, I don't say anything about it. 

Are you going to judge me because I just bought pop tarts at lunch?!?!?!

Umm... the message of my post is that I don't judge

[Deleted]

Apr 30, 2014 12:56:57 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

Apr 30, 2014 12:53:31 GMT -5 doglove said:

Are you going to judge me because I just bought pop tarts at lunch?!?!?!

Umm... the message of my post is that I don't judge

I think I may be judging myself. LOL I did have a dream about them last night. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm pop tarts!

[Deleted]

mp and bullygirl979 I'm probably thinking about this from a skewed perspective as my exh was very, very difficult and judgy of my every action so I feel a little like I identified with what this guy may (or he may perceive he is) experiencing. Such comments as "I would probably actually want to have sex with you if you ate a salad." So I'm taking it more from a personal experience you know? But yea I guess when you really read into the subtext and he's generalizing about all wives it's pretty annoying.

[bullygirl979]

Apr 30, 2014 13:00:58 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

mp and bullygirl979 I'm probably thinking about this from a skewed perspective as my exh was very, very difficult and judgy of my every action so I feel a little like I identified with what this guy may (or he may perceive he is) experiencing. Such comments as "I would probably actually want to have sex with you if you ate a salad." So I'm taking it more from a personal experience you know? But yea I guess when you really read into the subtext and he's generalizing about all wives it's pretty annoying.

I still can't over the level of douche-baggery of your XH. And I still giggle over his video rant. Whatta moron!

[Deleted]

Apr 30, 2014 13:06:01 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

Apr 30, 2014 13:00:58 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

mp and bullygirl979 I'm probably thinking about this from a skewed perspective as my exh was very, very difficult and judgy of my every action so I feel a little like I identified with what this guy may (or he may perceive he is) experiencing. Such comments as "I would probably actually want to have sex with you if you ate a salad." So I'm taking it more from a personal experience you know? But yea I guess when you really read into the subtext and he's generalizing about all wives it's pretty annoying.

I still can't over the level of douche-baggery of your XH. And I still giggle over his video rant. Whatta moron!

Oh I still laugh over the video all.the.time. Fortunately he's remarried now with a kid and has left me alone for the past year and half. Woohoo! 

[prettyinpearls]

Apr 30, 2014 12:45:56 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

This doesn't bother me that much expect for the health stuff. If you have a family you need to get that shit checked out. These are things I would tend not to share in a relationship as well. And three sounds kinda douchey, but I think societal pressures are what there are currently and I understand why men may feel this way.

I think this guy is a douche, but the bolded is pretty much where I am. Sure, go ahead and ignore signs your body is telling you because you think you're "healthy". Idiot.

[Wanderista]

I think this guy is a gross sexist. The give away for me was this sentence, "The guys at the Genius bar will figure it out, and that will be all the embarrassment I need." Yeah, let's just assume that the Genius Bar is staffed only by guys, asshole. (Asshole = him, not anyone reading this).

I don't think that partners need to tell each other everything but this guy's whole approach and rationale is screwy. Oh well, it sounds like he has heart disease and will keel over at some point. Fucking Darwin.

[jm5855]

1. Husband sucks because he is scared and walking on egg shells around his alleged nagging wife, wife sucks because she is micro-managing his diet. No way that situation works for me.

2. Whatever, don't think this is a big issue unless your wife is not having her sexual needs met because you are jacking off too much or she has made it clear she is not comfortable with porn...in which case you are disrespecting her.

3. I can handle being out earned because it is happening to me right now with T...I fucking love it!!

4. Again this guy sucks. You have a wife and children and I would assume they are not better off if you are dead. Go the the doctor clown.

5. Tell her, don't tell her..whatever. I really don't see the harm in giving a general description of who you were with and what you did. If she is demanding to know all the details that is a different story. Guess I have been lucky in that my exwife and T have always been excited for me when I had a chance to hang with friends.

6. Just because you are in a committed relationship does not mean you do not find other men/women attractive, the problem is "harmless flirting" can easily lead to cheating/affairs/hurt children/divorce attorney fees up the ass. He is lying by insinuating that it doesn't bother him if his wife is flirting with other men as long as he does not find out about it.

Overall I don't think he is the world's biggest douche but I also wouldn't want one of my daughter's to date him.

[pinkdutchtulips]

#3 is one of the many things that caused my marriage's demise but #3 played a bigger role than most. we went from him earning 2-3X what i made to me being the sole income earner in an 18 month span. for him to deal w/ it, he self medicated which ultimately lead to the trigger to my leaving.

[starburst604]

Well, I guess Karel now knows all these things she shouldn't know, huh? No more sandwiches for YOU buddy!!

[starburst604]

And I've been guilty of not admitting to T something that I've eaten, because I'm grossed out and embarassed at myself and don't want anyone to know. It's not because he'll bitch me out or pass judgement. He would also be COMPLETELY FINE if I outearned him. In fact he'd love it!

[jojoandleo]

Huh, I agree with jm5855. Been a long time since I have said that!

I'm more annoyed that he is portraying that he shouldn't tell his wife because of how she will react. These are more, "You can tell her if you want, but you really don't have to, unless your wife is anti-porn/anti-strip clubs where you went on guys night, etc."

I don't ask H what he ate during the day because I don't give a fuck. I only ask if he had fun at guys night or what they did because I am interested in his day/night. he doesn't need to give me a detailed account. I don't give a fuck how much he spent, we have separate accounts. The flirting, meh, I'd probably rather not know if H flirted. I am sure he does. LOL.

Altogether, this guy makes his wife sound bad and like all women will nag about these things, which is what I find annoying. I don't actually care if he keeps this shit secret. Even the health shit. You wanna ignore a heart attack? That's on you, buddy. But, H goes to his Dr. pretty regularly due to TBI from his deployment.

[Wrath0fKuus]

I see a strong connection between the "ladies, let me tell you what I think as The Male Truth" approach and #3.

[GilliC]

I find this quite concerning, because I see a lot of similarities between Karel and XH. There were stupid things I wouldn't tell XH because I knew he'd harp on me for it. I found I was lying or avoiding some incredibly trivial things: How late I stayed up surfing the web or reading the night before, How much time I was spending on TN, etc.

It's stupid to nag about these little issues. If the problem is with repercussions (e.g. I'd sleep really late on Saturdays to make up for my late nights mid-week), then there should be a dialogue about that, rather than a bunch of nagging about the potential causes.

Sometimes I wonder if healthy communication between spouses is the exception rather than the rule!

[becwheat]

If my SO doesn't have any specific health concerns and wants to binge one day, I am not going to say a word. If he has diabetes or Coronary Artery Disease and eats three steak sandwiches... I would be upset.

ETA: This reminds me of a my friends ex-g who had a minor allergy to shellfish and would order lobster bisque whenever it was offered and then she would get itchy all over and be miserable. I mean really?