If your kid is not STTN, how do you divvy up night

[vanillacourage]

When I was on ML I did every night because DH had to go to work the next day and I could nap. I did most weekend nights too, because when I hear the squawking on the monitor I'm awake and DH sleeps deeply, so I might as well just get up.

Well, now I'm getting pissy that I'm doing 85+% of the night wake ups, when I have to go to work in the morning too (I also juggle two kids and getting ready in the morning as DH leaves for work before we get up.) How do you handle it in your household?

ETA - I should say, if you are not BFing what do you do. Obviously if mom is the food source then she has to get up.

[beaver12]

I SAH, so I do all night wakings. I'd end up doing them even if I was working. DS Is 12 months and his night feelings take 3-5 minutes and he goes right back down. The interruption sucks, but I'd wake up even if I wasn't the one going in.

[keyslover]

I SAH, but our oldest rarely STTN (4 at end of August). We divide and conquer. He gets the oldest if she wakes up and I get DD2 since I am still nursing.

Probalby wouldn't be too bad if I didn't feel the need to play on my phone after I get Dd2 back to sleep!

[hannamarin]

My H stays up later than me. If he is awake (until 1 am) he gets her. I am in charge of the rest. I SAH.
When I go back to work, we will probably need to divvy up early morning wakings.

[faith194]

When DS was younger and still waking up for a bottle, DH was great at getting up with him, even if he had to work. The last 6 or 7 months, DS only wants me in the middle of the night, and will cry until I come in even if DH has him. Right now he is teething, and every other night for the last four nights have been bad. I wish DH could help, but DS only wants me:( He is 21 months, and I SAH.

[fortmyersbride]

Since I BF, I handled the nightwakings with DS until hr weaned. Then it became DH's responsibility when he wakes up. DD hasn't been as good about always going back to sleep after BFing (about once a month or so she thinks it's playtime) in which case she gets handed off to DH as well.

[thedash]

We took consecutive leaves. The parent on leave got up. When we were both
back to work we split nights fairly evenly. But if one of us had an early or important day the other would take that night. We talked about it each evening.

[satama]

Since I was breastfeeding, DH would get up and change the baby and bring him to me in bed. I would then nurse and put.the baby back down. I had two c-sections so the first week or so DH might help me put the baby back down too. When DH went back to work I started doing the night wakings myself since I was feeling better by then. Sometimes DH would hear the baby first and still get up and change him for me though which was nice because then I.could to.lee.and get a drink or water before nursing. Both of my kids started sttn somewhere between 8-12 weeks on a semi regular basis. I would usually get up for any random wakings after that point since the baby usually wanted to nurse so there was no point for us both to be up Imo.

I did take a "night off" with DS2 and DH fed him pumped milk so I could sleep, probably around 3 weeks. I really needed some sleep at that point, but it was too much of a pain to make it a regular thing. If I was formula feeding.g though, we would definitely swap out. I say and dh works 6-7 days a week at 6am so I would probably just ask DH to do one night a week. I have a toddler too, so I cant nap either.

[karinothing]

I am BFing so I handle it all unless it is a particularly bad night and I come storming back into our bedroom and say "you handle him!" There really is not point of DH getting up now, the baby won't go back down w/out nursing.

In the beginning though, DH would wake up change him, bring me food/snacks/etc, and then bring him back to me.

[Deleted]

I nursed at night til nine months with all the girls so I took all nights by default. After that we took turns one night was mine then next was his. On the weekends the morning after your night was yours as well. Now the girls sleep all night the majority of the time so we just go with whoever wakes up.

[ijack]

H would get up if she didn't need to eat (after a certain age he would go in first to try soothing before I fed her), but if she needed to eat I was the source.

[Deleted]

I bf and have done 100% of the nighttime wakings for 2 kids now. It sucks sort of - but I also realized at some point that I chose to do it to myself so I couldn't be mad at DH. Also, I feel kind of lucky (now that it's almost over...!) to have spent those sweet, quiet bonding times with both boys.

[sewpinkgal]

I SAH, so I was in charge of all night wakings, unless we had arranged ahead of time that I needed to get some freaking sleep and then H would keep the monitor with him and take care of any feedings J needed at night.

However, if I had gone back to work, I think I would have insisted (even when I was nursing) that we divy them up much more evenly.

[GailGoldie]

our kids don't really wake to eat or anything now -but occasionally will fuss or wake with a bad dream - and DH always gets up b/c he can fall right back to sleep easily- and i can't- i'm up for a couple hours if I get up for the kids.... and on days i have to work i drive all day - so working without decent sleep = dangerous.

[dcrunnergirl]

When they were little, DH and I both got up for every waking when they were both eating at night. After a few months, we each took a baby and were responsible for him/her for the night. It was like this while I was on ML and after I went back to work.

[Deleted]

I BF and am out on ML but we both get up - DH changes the diaper while I go to the bathroom and set up my pillows, then I nurse him in bed and put him back in the co sleeper. So I usually stay up longer while H does the diaper changing and goes right back to sleep. If DS took good naps during the day I might take more of the night shifts, but he doesn't really nap so I don't get any sleep during the day.

[bunch]

Dd gets up once, I do it. I sah and dd is bf.

[aspentosh]

Well, I BF but DH still gets up when she wakes up in the middle of the night. He changes her diaper so I have a few minutes to gather my thoughts, and then will go back to sleep while I nurse.

I don't think it's unreasonable to think your DH should help.

[Deleted]

I ff, & ds rarely eats during the night anymore, but he does wake up 3 or so times a week around 3:00 am. He usually just needs his binky & goes right back down. DH does all wake ups, as long as I do all early mornings, & let him sleep in whenever possible. It works for us as I am an early bird anyways.

[mie]

It used to me 100% me, but now H has been waking up and bring her to me.

[nonsenseabound]

Dh gets up and changes the diaper and hands to me for breast feeding. With our older child, she is three and done breast feeding. So if she wakes up, dh gets her down since I am up longer with our son.

[readyin07]

I BF and am a SAHM and DH still helps. I am the worst wife ever. Basically, we went from having an early STTN-er to...not. He gets up two times a night normally. I wanted DS to just stay rooming with us. DH said no way so the compromise was that he goes to get DS to nurse so I can sort of wake up and then he will bring him back to his crib. A lot of the time I will bring him back to bed myself...just depends on how much I wake up during the nursing process. DH pretty much always will have to calm him down if he wakes up in between nursing sessions. If I go get him, he will launch at my boob for comfort and that doesn't benefit either of us.

[Deleted]

When I was BF'ng I got up, but once he was getting a bottle, we took turns-every other night. Now that he's older, we do every other week. Last week DS was teething and got up 4 nights in a row. The week before and this week he slept thru the night all but 1 time. Guess which week mine was?
Signed Sleepy