Does your SO stick up for you

[Deleted]

With my parents he might say something subtle if he felt it was needed, but usually he'd just let me deal with it.

He has said stuff to his mom when she was being bitchy towards me.

He would definitely say something if it were anyone else being a jackass.

[Deleted]

I don't think we have ever been in a situation where it was needed. I am sure he would though.

[thelurkylulu]

My parents have never been an issue. He does stand up to his mother on my behalf though. She is BSC.

[soozy87]

Yes, he would if I didn't.

[noodleoo]

Hmm. I'm not sure. I don't think I've ever been in a position for him to do this.

He should have stood up for me when his family was treating me like crap. But whatever. It is in the past and we all get along now. And for the most part, I stand up for myself anyway.

ETA.  I think I'm actually more likely to point out to him that people are treating him like crap and suggesting he stand up for himself.  I'm not sure I"d ever do it for him as I think would be embarrassing for him and I wouldn't want to do that.

Thinking more about the situation you described, I wouldn't want him to do that for me in the moment either.  I'd rather fight my own battles.

[SomeNights]

My H is definitely not one that I would call bold or outspoken, and he'll usually tell ME when he thinks someone is wronging me, but rarely will tell the other person.

One time last summer he did sort of stand up to his parents. They live across the country and during their visit they sat him down to tell him that they didn't think he's happy, and that I take advantage of him (No kidding; it was literally because he does the laundry in our house). He told them they were wrong and he was happy, but he definitely didn't tell them to back off the way I wish he would have.

[flex]

He'd let me deal with it (and frankly, I'd like to be the one who'd deal with it anyway), but if I asked him for help, he would have stepped right up.

[malibu]

We have never had this situation. I'd like to think he would, but he's pretty quiet and passive, so I really don't know.

[murdock]

If I give him the look that I'd like him to, yes. This has happened, maybe twice?

Usually, we both like to just deal with whatever it is on our own.

[Deleted]

The only incident where this was a possibility was at a soccer game.

I was the only female on the field. I obviously don't mind physical play but this guy was blatantly fouling me, probably because I kept beating him lol.

The guy ouled me and knocked me over pretty good. BF jumped up. Good thing there was a fence in between him or the player or I think the dude would've lost a few teeth!

[Deleted]

Oh wait I just thought of another incident where we got conned/robbed in a taxi and BF spoke up.

He is actually pretty quiet/mild mannered in most situations but if someone has been wronged he'll definitely speak up. It surprised me at first because I thought he was quiet, but I like it.

[jodinia]

He would, and has, specifically w/r/t my mother and comments/actions she used to say/do.

[dana2006]

He's not good with confrontations, and thankfully we haven't been in any situation where there's a need for him to do it on my behalf (I could take care of it with my family). But he does get worked up about it. The other day a friend of mine called late at night and made an unfair demand on me, even knowing I was going through a difficult week. I was able to deflect and protect myself, but he was really troubled by it. Unable to do anything about it, he dreamed about confronting her and trying to reason with her. lol.

[underwaterrhymes]

He would, yes. He is very diplomatic and he wouldn't be antagonistic. He's really great at getting people to see things from his POV, so if my family was being unfair or unkind, I do think he would not only say something, but say it in a way that it didn't alienate anyone.

I have no idea how he does it.

I'm sorry, scotty (edited to be more vague).

[eb777888]

He would and has, both with his parents and my own. I admit that when he said something to my dad one time, I was pretty surprised, lol. And a little embarrassed, it definitely was out of character for him to say something to MY family for me. H is pretty laid back but will step in if he feels it's necessary.

[Wrath0fKuus]

He got my parents to stop smoking around me.

[8675309]

This is our ONE and only problem in our marriage. He has NEVER stuck up for me when it comes to his family. EVER. He's more afraid of their backlash than mine. In other words, he's ok with sleeping on the couch for a month vs confronting his sister or mother.

[elleblue]

I've never been in a situation where I felt my H would've needed to stick up for me, but I'd like to think he would. 

[Deleted]

Only when it's his side of the family. He knows I can handle my side fine on my own.

[Deleted]

No. Not ever. Not once. Even if I ask him to. He always takes the other persons side & will actually add to the pile on. It's an ongoing issue in our marriage.

[EmilieMadison]

Yes. It's unfortunate that it came to that, but yes, my husband did make a point to stick up for me when he felt it was necessary and appropriate. Luckily, there has only been one circumstance in which I needed to be backed up in that way. 

[tulip]

He's never had a need with my family but I'm sure he would.

He has with his mother several times and has my back with her being CO from me and DD.

[simplyinpenguin]

The one and only time I had an issue with his parents was right before getting married. They threatened to disown him if he married a "non-Catholic harlot" such as myself. He told them "so be it" and then wished them well in their later years when they're sick, dying, and lonely because they shut their son out. How quickly they turned themselves around and, now, we're ok...provided we don't have to see each other more than once a year.

[EmilieMadison]

Apr 30, 2014 16:30:21 GMT -5 @savestheday said:

No. Not ever. Not once. Even if I ask him to. He always takes the other persons side & will actually add to the pile on. It's an ongoing issue in our marriage.

So I'm guessing he isn't exactly the nicest guy in general? 

[Deleted]

Apr 30, 2014 16:26:31 GMT -5 @kirkette said:

Apr 30, 2014 16:20:55 GMT -5 @wandering said:

The only incident where this was a possibility was at a soccer game.

I was the only female on the field. I obviously don't mind physical play but this guy was blatantly fouling me, probably because I kept beating him lol.

The guy ouled me and knocked me over pretty good. BF jumped up. Good thing there was a fence in between him or the player or I think the dude would've lost a few teeth!

This is the only example I can think of where I've been "wronged". Some people take co-ed soccer way too seriously.   
My Kirkette is so quiet. I've only seen him mad twice . Once was in a soccer game like you described above, and once when someone almost slammed in to my car when I was 9 months pregnant.  

Yes they do! Dear lord you would think they are trying out for the Olympic team or about to win a million dollars of they win.

[Deleted]

Apr 30, 2014 16:30:21 GMT -5 @savestheday said:

No. Not ever. Not once. Even if I ask him to. He always takes the other persons side & will actually add to the pile on. It's an ongoing issue in our marriage.

I'm sorry

[eb777888]

Oh, if somebody was physically fucking with me or something similar, hell yes my H would take care of it.

[BaliHai]

Yes. He has stuck up for me with my family for minor, joking-but-kinda-not things, so I am sure if it were serious he would stick up for me then, too. He has also stuck up for me to his parents, though it took him some time and some "hey buddy, how about you speak up?"s from me.

[Deleted]

With his mother? Yes. Absolutely. Anyone else? I think he would wait to see what I do/say before jumping straight to hero mode. If I didn't say anything, I think he would.

[marylennox]

Yes, he would and has. Both with my family and his.

I don't think I have ever asked him to, but due to both of our personalities it just happens. I avoid confrontation and he is assertive and has a way with words.