Mekiakoo

[littlelemondrop]

mekiakoo

I want to discuss an issue I'm having, hopefully you don't mind. 

My husband and I are moving to west tx. We are currently out here house hunting and arranged a visit to the deaf/HH preschool Miss A will attend. They were enthusiastic and welcoming but we had a few issues. One in particular. Miss A jumped right into the class and was very interested in participating and it was during that interaction that the teacher tried to make Miss A speak. The teacher held Miss A's hand to her (the teacher's) throat and said "two" and requested Miss A to repeat her. I quickly intervened and told the teacher Miss A does not speak and that's not something we work on, to which she the teacher replied, "oh don't worry, we'll work on that." My husband and I were and are very upset.

Can you give me your perspective on this? I definitely have my own opinions.

[littlelemondrop]

May 1, 2014 12:03:48 GMT -5 mekiakoo said:

Of course!

What kind of school is this? What kind of communication strategy do they focus on? There are different kinds of schools out there.

Some of my friends went to a pre school that was mainly oralism (using spoken English) and had some ASL included. Some went to a school that focused on cued speech (a "visual communication system — mouth movements of speech combine with “cues” to make all the sounds (phonemes) of spoken language look different."). Some went to a school that used sign language only. Some were mainstreamed and had an interpreter. There are so many options out there.

I'm a huge advocate for ASL- IMO it's truly the best and easiest way for a child to communicate. But I actually don't see a harm in also providing additional opportunities to learn how to speak as long as ASL remains their main communication strategy. I just don't think it's a good idea to disregard signing while focusing on spoken language or relying on cochlear implant, because there's no guarantee that it will be successful.

I can share my experience while growing up: My parents discovered I was deaf at 1 year old and they did a lot of research and decided that ASL was the best way to communicate. They learned how to sign and found a school with a deaf program that focused on signing, and the school also provided speech lessons for whoever was interested. My parents decided to do that. I also had hearing aids.

Well, I was only 7 years old when I decided I wasn't going to have any of it anymore. I hated wearing hearing aids and I HATED the speech lessons. I felt like it didn't benefit me because everyone in my world signed. My family, friends, teachers, even bus aides signed! My parents were okay with that.

Now 20 years later, I kind of wish I knew how to speak. Especially now that I have a hearing baby. But to be honest, I wouldn't have changed the way I grew up. I loved life and communication wasn't an issue most of the time. I learned how to communicate with other hearing people by using gestures or writing things down. I also participated in many hearing sports, it just felt normal to me. But honestly nobody would have been able to convince me to learn how to talk back then. In 3rd grade I transferred to a 100% deaf school that used a bilingual approach (ASL/English). In high school I also took some classes at the public high school with an interpreter since the deaf school didn't have a lot of class options. I ended up going to a hearing college (not Gallaudet!) and did just fine with an interpreter.

So I would say it depends on what kind of communication you'd like your daughter to be able to use. I think it's a great idea to give deaf children different kinds of communication opportunities along with ASL.

One more thing: this may be a bit complicated, but the deaf community usually has a STRONG opinion about spoken language/cochlear implants. They aren't as accepting and I've seen deaf children who have cochlear implants or rely on speaking (vs. signing) feel out of place and they usually have a difficulty with their identity as a deaf person. They don't feel like they fit in the hearing world or even the deaf world. Deaf people feel like they're not broken and they don't really appreciate people trying to "help" them by teaching them how to talk, "help" them hear because they have their own language and culture.

I am friends with a deaf couple who has 2 deaf children and the parents decided to give their kids cochlear implants (even though the parents were deaf) and the community was really outraged (HOW could DEAF parents IMPLANT THEIR OWN DEAF CHILDREN?!)- but their reasoning was that they wanted to provide their kids with more communication opportunities and they didn't want their kids to feel "limited" like the parents apparently felt while growing up. I completely understand the parents' reasons and I respect their decision. But I worry that their children will not feel like they fit in either community.

The deaf community is very small, but can be very powerful. Communities with oralism/cochlear implants are even smaller, I believe. But there is still a community out there if you ever decide to go that route.

I hope this was helpful and you and your husband are perfectly okay with feeling upset at the school, but check and see what kind of communication strategy they use. They probably assumed you guys want your daughter to learn how to speak. Maybe this school isn't a good fit for your daughter or maybe if you choose the school- be clear on how you want your daughter to communicate. It's important for the school to respect your choice as a parent.

As you can see, there are so many different choices out there that you can make for your daughter. Are you anywhere near Austin by any chance? If you are- let me know, I have several friends in that area who could help you out if you want.

You and your H are your daughter's biggest advocate right now, do what you think is right

Thanks for sharing your experience, Mekia. This preschool is small, really small. Miss A will be their 4th student. They utilize SEE not ASL and they consider their program Total Communication. I did get a lot of "deaf kid in a hearing world rhetoric." I'm not against Miss A speaking in theory, however I strongly feel our time is better spent elsewhere, like on ASL.
I was just really upset that this was a visit, and they really overstepped their bounds without asking. Also, Miss A is so confident and outgoing; I want to protect that. I never want her to think being verbal/oral is superior. Does that make sense? I just want to do the absolute best for her. I told the preschool director that I was like the Blackhawk of helicopter moms, soooo I guess I gave them fair warning? Lol (I'm really not bad outside of the deaf ed stuff.)

[littlelemondrop]

I forgot to tell you that this preschool is the regional day school, so I think I might be locked in with this program. I head back home this weekend and my parent mentor and I are going to hash this out. Maybe there is another program close by? This region is huge, and I cannot for the life of me figure out where all the deaf kids are!

I'm just barely educated on SEE versus ASL. All our ASL instructors have strong opinions on SEE - dislike. I gets it's purpose, though I definitely prefer ASL.

Miss A was born deaf, however it was complicated getting her diagnosis. Her newborn screening indicated further screening and 12 days later she passed her follow up. We knew at about 3 months she couldn't hear and at her 4 month appointment tried to get referrals. Our pediatrician wanted to wait although he acknowledged she was not reacting to sound. We got a second opinion and after about a month we had her diagnosis. She had an MRI around 9 months that indicated she doesn't have cochlear nerves, so she is completely absent of hearing beyond major medical intervention. All that to say we don't believe it's genetic, but we are still debating further genetic testing.

Giving Miss A language is our first priority and ASL does that and it will always be used In our home. We have pushed our families to take ASL classes and sign with her and they have been receptive. We have made it clear that to be a part of her life means learning and using ASL. We absolutely refuse to fail our sweet girl, she deserves our best.

I really hate the cochlear debate. I just want to do the right thing for my kid and it's adds a whole different level of worry and guilt. We don't care what form of communication she chooses, but I believe she deserves choices. I hate having to make these decisions for her, but I'm doing my best.

So would you have been upset by the speaking thing? Do you think I'm over reacting?