speaking of showers...wedding shower?

[peach]

A friend is getting married and having a shower soon.

She didn't register anywhere. I asked her what she wanted or if there were any favorite stores and she said she was mostly hoping for gift cards.

Her fiance lives in a house and has all the basics. She lives with her parents but was on her own for quite a while, and also has boxes of "house" stuff. I am sure though that they do have a lot of items that are just hand me downs or cheap junk and could use an upgrade but she said that they just want gift cards and will buy what they need themselves.

She said that they do need some things but she needs to go through the house and look at what they have but hasn't done it yet. So she just wants gift cards so she can go out and buy what she needs after the wedding.

For the wedding I will definitely just give cash, but the whole point of a shower is opening gifts! I think she is just hoping to avoid the overflow of tacky grandma gifts and useless crap like a food dehydrator or a picnic basket that she will never use and will just be a waste.

What would you give? I was thinking of a date night basket of some sort? Maybe a popcorn bowl with popcorn and seasonings and a dvd inside or something?? It's a church shower so I can't do wine and wineglasses.

[sierramist03]

Give her a crockpot no I'm kidding we got 6 between showers and wedding best part we didn't register for a single one.
How about a nice cookbook one our favorites is a cooking for newlyweds? I sometimes get a nice bowl set or nice measuring cups (we have a local shop that has awesome unique housewares and it's usually my go to store if I don't want the normal)
Could you also do something personalized a plaque or something?

[statlerwaldorf]

Etiquette book

[Deleted]

Jul 16, 2012 1:02:03 GMT -5 statlerwaldorf said:

Etiquette book

Bahaha! :Y:

Seriously, if you are having a shower you register for gifts. Thats the purpose of a shower. If she wants gift cards I would get her one...to Bass Pro Shop or GunWorld or something.

[livinitup]

I'm with the bride on this one.

Pretending that this is your first trek out into the world and into your first new place and you need to be "showered" with gifts is just ridiculous. Not every bride is looking to set-up her first home. Sounds like they have a home well set-up and another in storage. Get her a gift card. Why does her shower have to meet your vision?

[tacokick]

Jul 16, 2012 4:21:04 GMT -5 livinitup said:

I'm with the bride on this one.

Pretending that this is your first trek out into the world and into your first new place and you need to be "showered" with gifts is just ridiculous. Not every bride is looking to set-up her first home. Sounds like they have a home well set-up and another in storage. Get her a gift card. Why does her shower have to meet your vision?

But if you don't need things then don't have a shower. The whole point of a shower is to get presents. Amazon has everything. There is no reason she can't spend 20 minutes and make a registry rather than make your friends and family guess you want gift cards and to wear.

Honestly, I would just give her a card.

[sillygoosegirl]

Some of the best gifts we got were kitchen gadgets we never would have thought to register for, but recieved from people who knew they were useful because they used them in their homes.

[ssmjlm]

I would go the gc route myself, but I would probably splurge on something kitchen wise that they wouldn't think about but would be fun.

I wish we would have gotten a nicer knife set. We thought our old one was ok, but it would have been a great gift splurge item. I think it's going to be our Christmas gift.

[jackie011]

Jul 15, 2012 23:09:48 GMT -5 peach said:

I think she is just hoping to avoid the overflow of tacky grandma gifts and useless crap like a food dehydrator or a picnic basket that she will never use and will just be a waste.

Not creating a registry is the single best way to make this happen! Seriously, when you don't give anyone guidance, they are left to their own devices and who knows what you're going to end up with! Tons of stores offer registries, she could go hog wild anywhere and people will actually buy it. Be a good friend and encourage her to create a registry.

[kaylie]

Jul 16, 2012 7:18:27 GMT -5 jackie011 said:

Jul 15, 2012 23:09:48 GMT -5 peach said:

I think she is just hoping to avoid the overflow of tacky grandma gifts and useless crap like a food dehydrator or a picnic basket that she will never use and will just be a waste.

Not creating a registry is the single best way to make this happen! Seriously, when you don't give anyone guidance, they are left to their own devices and who knows what you're going to end up with! Tons of stores offer registries, she could go hog wild anywhere and people will actually buy it. Be a good friend and encourage her to create a registry.

:Y: :Y: This, all the way.

Alas, it's not really your problem if she ends up with three punch bowls and a bunch of vases and picture frames that don't match. I'd do a gift card to Amazon.

[gtkim]

When we got married we really didn't register for much, and really didn't want any showers. However, some friends were quite insistent so rather than a traditional shower we had a red wine party. DH and I love red wine so everyone brought us a bottle or 2 of their favorites and we had a great time. The party was super casual and it was one of the favorite parts of our wedding planning.
Do they have any hobbies that you could buy gifts for?

[tarheels]

Ditto others that by not registering, she is setting herself up for some random stuff. Encourage her if you have that type of relationship. If not, along the red wine lines, is there an activity you could get for them like cooking school or tango lessons?

[emoflamingo]

Uh yeah, she's going to get all sorts of random picture frames and picnic baskets and shit. I registered at 2 stores and STILL got that crap. (I get it, people have budgets, but I was young so it wasn't like I registered for all expensive stuff. I knew I was on a budget so I registered for attainable stuff for myself.)

I would either get something like what tarheels suggested or tell her that you want to buy her a REAL gift and ask her if she can just come up with ONE thing that she wants to upgrade or will need so you can get it. Especially if you're close enough to her that you can ask her about it.

[adhdfashion]

I thought you got sexy undies at a shower and house gifts at the wedding? What is going on in the world?! I think this really calls for some edible panties and a bed side lube warmer.

[minniebee]

I agree that requesting gift cards for a shower is kind of lame. The main point of a shower is to shower the bride with gifts and the main activity at the shower is opening the gifts. If it's just a bunch of gift cards, that is going to be one boring shower.

If you don't need anything, don't have a shower. If there's stuff you want, register for it.

As her friend, I would explain to her that if she's not registering because she wants to pick out and shop for items herself, she's setting herself up for failure. Without a registry, people are going to find their own gifts, many of which she never would have picked out for herself.

If she doesn't believe you, I bet you can find a bunch of people on this message board who can attest that most off-registry wedding gifts are not items you actually want. And ... because some of those gifts come from close family members, you're sometimes obligated to keep and use these items you don't like. My very sweet grandma made us a Christmas tree skirt (her usual wedding gift) but her eyesight is not good anymore, so it's not made very well - it's all crooked. Plus, it's made from ugly fabric. She's at my house every Christmas, though, so I have to use it.

I know your friend thinks that people will just give money/gift cards if there's no registry, but they don't.