F/U: Sexual harassment in Egypt

[Wanderista]

I've been meaning to post something about Egypt, particularly a follow-up to the topic that I raised before the trip. I'd never been outside of Europe and North America before so I really did not know what to expect.

Overall, I had a great time and I would definitely go back, particularly to Makadi Bay which was fantastic. We were definitely glad that we decided to stay there rather than Hurghada proper, which is a tacky tourist trap nightmare (though individual hotels there may not be). Our resort was great and we had a wonderful experience. We went on a Sahara safari and also I learned to snorkel on a trip into the various coral reefs deeper in the Red Sea. Yes, I would go back to the country and yes, overall, I was happy with where we stayed and most of the people that we met.

Now, about sexual harassment, it's a real problem in that culture. There were basically two serious incidents. The first one involved a guy who was selling massages for the hotel spa. We were on the beach at our sun loungers and we were booking the snorkeling excursion with a gentleman who worked for the local swim and dive center, when the masseur walked up and started chatting with my SO. The masseur then started rubbing hand cream on my arm. I figured that he was trying to sell a massage, but he got a bit "overzealous" and we had to ask him to stop. That really upset SO more than me, he didn't go past my arm and he was selling a massage after all.

The second incident bothered me a lot more, it was when I went on the snorkeling excursion. There were several stops along the snorkeling route, it was an all-day cruise along the coast. We went to a barrier island with a beautiful beach and while there I decided to just swim rather than to snorkel. SO decided that he wanted to walk around on the beach and take photos. There was a huge crowd of people with us of different ages.

I love to swim so I swam fairly far out on my own and then came back in closer to shore. This older snorkeling instructor who was about 50 and balding, and who had joked around with SO during the boat ride, waved at me to come over to him and asked me to start snorkeling to see a reef that was there. He then wanted to hold my hand while I snorkeled which made me a bit uncomfortable but on all of my excursions, whenever I tried to do something on my own, some Egyptian instructor always insisted on overseeing me (not for inappropriate intentions but as a cultural thing, there's a tendency to want to oversee or probably to protect women).

Anyway, it wasn't that abnormal that he'd want to hold my hand, so yeah, I was like ok, I'll snorkel and see some more fish. I had not brought my equipment into the sea so I had to borrow his goggles. It ended up that he went from holding my hand to touching my leg and my breast at which point I kind of freaked out. This was in deep water way out from the shore. He also tried to hug me from behind when I tried to swim away, to which I said no repeatedly and in a panicked manner. I insisted on swimming off and joined my SO on the beach for the rest of that stop. I didn't tell him what happened until after the trip. I still find it all very embarrassing. I did go snorkeling again because I didn't want it to ruin my experience but I did not let anyone hold my hand after that.

I don't want that to put anyone off of Egypt and it hasn't put me off of it, by and large, the Egyptians I encountered were polite, respectful and really gracious people. It was a dark cloud on my enjoyment though. In both cases, the harassment occured in such a way that it could be couched under the guise of normal professional activities. The snorkeling instructor holds childrens' hands while they swim and he could just claim that he was doing his job.

Sorry that this was such a long post but it took a lot of detail to describe what happened.

[tricolore]

What a jerk! That would have freaked me out too (snorkel dude). Really a shame to have such a creepy experience during an otherwise nice trip.

H and I went to Egypt right after we got married. Amazing place for sure. I didn't have problems with male attention (basically the ignored me when I was alone, which while annoying when I was waiting for water at a restaurant, I understand is more respectful from their vantage point). However, I did find the relentless tipping frustrating. I know that sounds weird b/c I know tourism is important and that comparative 'small' tips are important sources of income, but after awhile I really did feel it was excessive and bordering on the uncomfortable.

Great country, but definitely a different world (I should add that trip to Egypt was my first trip to Africa/Mid-East).

[ktkl09]

I'm jealous that you went to Egypt. It sounds fabulous. DH and I wanted to go this year but the situation there didn't seem ideal.

Anyway, the holding hand thing would have freaked me out .

[allibally]

Jul 16, 2012 23:02:41 GMT -5 @ktkl09 said:

Anyway, the holding hand thing would have freaked me out .

Seriously, me too. I would of left swimming as fast I could at that point.

Frankly, you were lucky that you kept it cool and didn't panic. You could of easily drowned by the way the dude was trying to hug and touch you.

[marynjoe]

Jul 17, 2012 0:09:31 GMT -5 allibally said:

Jul 16, 2012 23:02:41 GMT -5 @ktkl09 said:

Frankly, you were lucky that you kept it cool and didn't panic. You could of easily drowned by the way the dude was trying to hug and touch you.

That's what I was thinking.

While it's okay for you to feel embarrassed, remember that you didn't do anything wrong. Pervy McPervyston did. I'll bet you anything he only does that with tourists that aren't familiar with Egyptian customs. They purposely play on your desire to not offend them.

[Wanderista]

Thanks everybody, I know that it is a kind of awkward subject.

The Red Sea is very salty and you have a natural tendency to float in it so it is not hard to swim in, but yeah, it was scary to put it mildly. I had actually been coming back in towards the shore when the snorkeling instructor told me to look at this reef that was a bit further out. He hadn't done anything before that to indicate that he was a creep, he hadn't tried to hold my hand or anything.

Honestly, the hand-holding was pretty annoying and now that I have more experience with that culture, I have indeed learned how to say no instead of just being polite. I wouldn't say that the hand-holding people were trying to harass me though, that was done by the younger dive instructors on the trip and it was my first time ever snorkeling. I noticed that every time I went into the water by myself, they wanted to hold my hand. It was kind of like, "Don't let the young woman swim alone." Even though I was generally swimming with the group and when snorkeling I used a life vest. Oddly enough, later in the trip when I finally got them to leave me alone, I was finally able to relax, enjoy the snorkeling and see the fish.

Also, when we were in the desert, we rode these ATVs on a motor safari. I wanted to drive my own. Heck, I drive in the DC metro area. I know how to drive. But yeah, the people running the safari basically wouldn't let me operate the vehicle myself. An instructor insisted on driving the steering wheel for me and then I was told to go sit on the back of my SO's ATV. (I've got nothing about spending time with my SO, it was fun, we just both wanted to drive the ATVs and there were a lot of them). That was the day before the snorkeling trip, so I got kind of used to being ordered around by male instructors, they never crossed the line before that though.

[Wanderista]

Also, this kind of a response to several of you guys, so I won't just quote one previous response. Egypt is, indeed, a different world. When I ordered at the Burger King (and no, I don't eat Burger King in the US), the guy taking my order basically tried to haggle me into buying a bigger burger. It was not, "Want to super-size that?" No, he said, "But this burger is small," when I told him I wanted a #4 or whatever. He was actually trying to debate me about what I ordered. I thought the whole point of Burger King was, "Have it your way."

The tipping is definitely a big part of the culture. We only tipped people who we really felt did a good job, but we did not mind tipping them (we would have minded tipping the people who had bad attitudes like they expected a tip). We tipped our housekeeper like 3 times throughout the stay because he was genuinely nice, thorough and friendly. We also tipped one of the safari guides (not the one who didn't let me drive) because he was really nice and informative. Also over the course of the day we found out that he works 7 days a week and hasn't had a day off in 2012 and that he makes $10 a day. We gave him $10 and told him to take a day off. He was really grateful and almost did not want to take it.

It's definitely a great country and I would go back. As far as the political unrest goes, the coast was totally quiet and sedate. Movement in the country by locals is heavily controlled. There are military checkpoints all over the place. We went through several. That may change if the military relinquishes power, but yeah, basically, if there are riots in Cairo, it has no effect on the coast.

We ended up not going to Cairo due to the amount of time we had and also the season. I'd probably do the Nile and ancient stuff at a different time of year. The beach, swimming pools, and sea were perfect in July though. We also went to an aquapark which was really fun. Heat-wise, I did not find Egypt to be that bad especially when near a pool, but then I'm from the DC metro area which is really humid, so I can handle being hot. I found the Egyptian heat to be more like a sauna, rather pleasant. The evenings were also really nice. We played mini-golf and billiards at like 9 pm.

[lo]

The incessant tipping drove us crazy, too! Especially at the historic sites when random dudes would follow you around and point out a name of a God and then hold their hand out for a tip. Or they would tell you to watch your step and then want a tip. I have to say we ALWAYS tipped our tour guides and drivers. It didn't occur us not to. Those guys make so little money! We tipped a lot in Egypt, and most of the time I didn't mind, but sometimes I did.

The lotion on the arm thing also happened to me at a resort when a lady was trying to sell us a massage. She did ask my husband for permission to touch me (lol), as did a man selling perfume a few days earlier.

I didn't experience any sexual harassment as you did, but more like groups of young guys following us around and taking pics and videos of me. Several times they even asked for me to pose with them! Very stange!!