Adoption

[Deleted]

Adoption social worker just left... Not writing adoption plan yet... Can't call Ava Ava anymore.

The specialists who did the evals conference called the ASW, which I guess they never do, and told her they are concerned about Owl not bonding with me. They feel her issues are related to trauma (from her bio family) and that there are also some cognitive problems. They aren't sure why she isn't bonding with me and if she doesn't bond than they will consider moving both girls to another home.

I am devastated. I have been fighting for this little girl for so long and they just ripped my heart out.

We meet with Mental Health tomorrow for the first of two evals, hopefully they can provide some help.

[ssg73]

oh goodness I am so sorry. I hope that doesn't happen.

[twotrue]

It ate my post...anyway, I'm really sorry you are going through this. Out of curiosity - do they care whether or not Owl is bonding with J? Or do they only care about the bond with the primary care giver?

[Deleted]

It seems like they only care about the primary caregiver but the ASW has only met with us twice and the day at the evals wasn't a typical day so I don't understand why they aren't learning more from our agency worker to see how much of a bond we have now vs what we started with.

We got ahold of our agency worker and she is very upset and is going to fight for us.

[bluedaisyus]

Oh man, that sounds like a rough visit. I'm glad you reached your agency worker and she's on your side.

[2brides]

Oh, no. I hope this all works out. You have been fighting so hard for her. And not calling her Ava anymore? That seems like it is just going to be more and more confusing for her. Poor kiddo.

[kershnic]

I'm sorry that you're going through this. I know hearing her say that must be heartbreaking, but remember that this is one person's opinion on one day and there are lots of people involved in making these decisions for a reason. Keep fighting for the services your baby needs, keep working on building that bond, and just keep showing all of your workers that you love her and are doing your best for her. Good luck.

[ct]

Jul 17, 2012 16:20:50 GMT -5 kershnic said:

I'm sorry that you're going through this. I know hearing her say that must be heartbreaking, but remember that this is one person's opinion on one day and there are lots of people involved in making these decisions for a reason. Keep fighting for the services your baby needs, keep working on building that bond, and just keep showing all of your workers that you love her and are doing your best for her. Good luck.

ditto. well said.

[clickerish]

Oh for god's sake. Because taking her away from a woman who clearly loves her despite the difficulties is the best choice? I've never even met you, and I can tell you work circles around your average parent mentally just to try to be a good mom to a little girl with a complicated history.

I'm terribly sorry. ;( What a horrible situation to be in.