Pregnant After IF: Managing Anxiety/Therapy

[genet313]

Hi Ladies,

I'm not totally ready to join this board yet, but I hope I can.  I just finished up my first IVF cycle and got a positive HPT on Saturday and a beta of 306 at 13dp3dt yesterday. I have another beta tomorrow, so fingers crossed that looks good as well.

After almost 3 years of infertility, a miscarriage during a natural cycle and a surgery to remove fibroids, my anxiety levels are pretty damn high.  I want to be excited and I actually do feel positive about this pregnancy, but I'm still very anxious. I haven't been sleeping well at all the past few days and feel totally unfocused at work. 

OK, totally normal, I get it, but I'm wondering if you ladies have any tricks to combat anxiety during this time - beyond not Google-ing everything.  Also, did anyone see a fertility therapist, even after they became pregnant?  I'm looking into this as a possible option as well.  

TIA!!

[ecinereb]

It's a really hard time being pregnant after IF and after a loss. I tried to just take it one day at a time and one appointment at a time. I was doing acupuncture before and continued this until the end of 1st tri and found it helped to relax me as well.
Overall though I was anxious the whole time and even now at 39+6 I still am.

[kershnic]

Congratulations!

I was an anxious mess my whole pregnancy. I used this meditation series: www.circlebloom.com/ during my 2nd IVF. They have a pregnancy series also, which I intended to do but then (ironically, I know) I was too anxious to ever start it. I did however keep doing the happy mind healthy body one sometimes. In 3rd trimester I developed gestational hypertension. Doing that meditation could literally measurably bring my blood pressure down from one reading to another. After strong encouragement from my OB I also started taking Zoloft in 3rd trimester because he felt my anxiety was contributing to my blood pressure problem.

I did also purchase an anxiety workbook but never got around to doing it. I'm sure therapy would have helped me, but it wasn't something I had the time or energy to commit to. During all of it I felt that my anxiety was justified, because I was pregnant after 2 years of TTC, after 2 losses, at what was going to be the end of my fertility journey. But in retrospect my anxiety was out of proportion even for the situation and I wish I had done something more proactive about it sooner.

[KaraOrNot]

Congratulations! I have no advice, because I am struggling with this myself, but I am so excited for you! FX for tomorrow!

[FastHands]

Yaaaaaaay!!!!!!!!!!
I don't have much in the way of advice, just hope and good thoughts. Pregnancy always breeds anxiety, and adding IF and losses just makes things worse. Try to take it one day at a time if possible.

[azurely]

Congrats on the BFP!

I know what you mean and I wish I had good advice, but I feel the same way most days. After 3.5 years of TTC and three losses, being pregnant is amazing but I still worry that it's too good to be true.

This is probably irrational, but now that we've started telling people, I have been feeling even more anxious. The thought of having to tell people if something happens is terrifying. Logically I know that people knowing I'm pregnant will have no effect on the success of my pregnancy, but like I said, it's irrational.

I found my anxiety decreased after every good appt, but a few days later, I would start worrying again. My anxiety is usually the highest right before an appt.

Doing yoga and meditation is a good idea, and if you have a faith, praying or reading devotionals/Bible study has helped me, but the anxiety never really goes away.

[genet313]

Thanks ladies!  I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who's struggling.   I think I'm going to try the therapy route, and will definitely check out that circle-bloom thing - probably this afternoon at work.  I was up at 4 AM again today so I definitely need a time out.  Thanks kershnic!

[jewel]

I have a very similar story - several years of infertility, a couple of losses, a year of rough treatment (including 2 surgeries), and finally a successful round of IVF.

Honestly, the only thing that has really helped is time and progression of the pregnancy. We didn't tell our parents about the pregnancy until 12 weeks, and I didn't announce to anyone else until around 18 weeks. Knowing that I wouldn't have to un-tell a bunch of people helped ease a little anxiety about a possible loss. I also watched the odds of miscarriage by week, and just counted down until I made it through the next milestone. I tried the whole mantra of "I'm pregnant TODAY" and to be grateful for that, but it didn't help much. I was mostly just a paranoid mess for a couple of months, which has gradually faded over time. Until I could feel the baby move regularly throughout the day, I was much more anxious than excited. At the time, I didn't feel like anything could help, because all I wanted was a healthy baby that continued to grow.

So I guess I have no useful advice. For me, at least, things have gotten much better over the past month. The first 4 months or so were filled with anxiety, but it has eased quite a bit.

[ecinereb]

May 20, 2014 18:03:23 GMT -5 kershnic said:

Congratulations!

I was an anxious mess my whole pregnancy. I used this meditation series: www.circlebloom.com/ during my 2nd IVF. They have a pregnancy series also, which I intended to do but then (ironically, I know) I was too anxious to ever start it. I did however keep doing the happy mind healthy body one sometimes. In 3rd trimester I developed gestational hypertension. Doing that meditation could literally measurably bring my blood pressure down from one reading to another. After strong encouragement from my OB I also started taking Zoloft in 3rd trimester because he felt my anxiety was contributing to my blood pressure problem.

I did also purchase an anxiety workbook but never got around to doing it. I'm sure therapy would have helped me, but it wasn't something I had the time or energy to commit to. During all of it I felt that my anxiety was justified, because I was pregnant after 2 years of TTC, after 2 losses, at what was going to be the end of my fertility journey. But in retrospect my anxiety was out of proportion even for the situation and I wish I had done something more proactive about it sooner.

This is what my acu plays for me during sessions!

[rachelgreen]

Even though we might not have seen eye to eye in the thread on 3tc, I wanted to wish you well and congratulate you on your BFP.

As for the topic at hand, I also struggle with this. Some days it is more prominent than others. We ended up telling people last week due to other circumstances and it hasn't completely raised my anxiety but it's just another layer. I had figured that if anything bad were to happen, I would have been "out" about it since we're so open with our IF struggles. I just want to get to my next u/s on June 4th. I had hoped it would be today but I guess my meeting with the pregnancy coordinator at the hospital I will deliver at won't do one today. Boo.