I have a hard time understanding/ not judging this.
I have seen a few pics of brand new newborns who are drinking a bottle (not a pumped bottle) and I truly don't understand why a mom would not at least attemp to breastfeed.
I understand the moms who try and can't, but I knew a few moms who were never interested in trying and I admit I am a bit judgy about it....like why not even try???
Ditto Cosmos. Also, some women may have to return to jobs incompatible with BFing/pumping, or want their husbands to share more equally in the responsibility of a newborn.
I cant breastfeed at all due to my meds, so this may seem weird, but I also wonder why someone wouldnt even try. But every one has their own personal reasons. We shouldnt judge each other. You never know what their reason is. My friend didnt try because her childbirth was a crazy experience. She was rushed to surgery, lost a lot of blood and was just out of it in the days following. So she said "screw that. This body has been through enough". I can also see the draw of baby sleeping longer (at the start they sleep longer vs breastfed babies overnight) and being able to share the load more with the husband. It can also be nerve wracking to change your own diet due to problems with baby.
Post by whereintheworld on May 15, 2012 8:44:42 GMT -5
I BF'd my first for 4 months and it was tremendously stressful. He had a LOT of trouble gaining weight, even to the point that he lost a pound between months 3 and 4, had acid reflux that required meds, never slept more than 45 minutes because he was always starving and attached to my boob, and I was in the thick of PPD/PPA. We introduced formula at 4 months and he wouldn't go back to the breast, and I will admit that I just didn't want to pump.
With #2, I gave it my best shot for 2 months, but the same problems were there (weight gain, reflux, it was very hard on me emotionally, no sleeping for anyone). We switched to formula at 2 months and I have been much happier since then.
When we have #3, I think we will go straight to formula. I know there are many that will judge me, but I can honestly say that I have tried with my other 2 and it was not a good experience for any of us. I do feel the judgement from others when I have given both of my boys a bottle, but I have to balance that with my own personal happiness and what makes me the best mom/wife/person that I can be.
A variety of reasons, and you don't know any backstory. For example:
1. Mom may have adopted ::raises hand:: and was either unable or unwiling to do adoptive BFing 2. Tried it (how do you know they didn't even try it?) and it was painful/difficult/baby didn't latch/milk didn't come in/etc. 3. Will have to return to work quickly and won't be able to pump, so don't see the point in even starting for only a few days/weeks 4. Family pressure (overt or implied) that it's icky, difficult, painful, or not worth it 5. Family dyamics such that it would be difficult to BF while chasing around/shuttling around a number of children 6. Bad previous experience
Ad nauseum
I didn't BF. My mom didn't BF. My SILs did for an extended period of time. Strokes and folks. I don't judge either way. I HATE the Mommy Wars, and this is part of it.
I just didn't want to with DS. Even though he was planned I had a hard time emotionally w the pregnancy. I selfishly wanted my body back when he was born.
I love BF DS, so I think it is awesome experience that every woman should try that can.
But I don't really care what people do. It's their prerogative.
My Mom didn't BF me or my sister (twins). She said we weren't interested. I know she didn't have proper support available to her. That was a different time. I think supporting a Mom in whatever choice she wants is the best thing.
Example, if I tell you I'm planning to BF, don't send me home with a bag full of BM flavored formula. To me, that is not supportive.
I bf ds1 for 15 months, but he had to have formula in the hospital for medical reasons. Ds2 was in the nicu and they gave him formula too. I now bf him only but it took us until he was about a week old to get on all breast milk. Who cares what other moms choose to do? They are feeding their own kids, not yours. Even though it may not be what YOU would choose, it does not mean it is not the best choice for them.
Different strokes for different folks. I grew up in a non-BF zone, everyone was FF. I have no intentions to BF my future kid either though. It be a time constraint thing mostly for me, no office, no private area to pump- so starting off FF is the best option for a lot of people. Most of my friends whom are working mothers found it easier on their schedules. Everyone chooses what is right for them and their family.
Post by dcrunnergirl on May 15, 2012 9:01:39 GMT -5
How do you know they didn't try? And really what difference did it make? Between my milk barely coming in, and the stress of BFing and caring for two newborns, and after having just spent the past 14 weeks on bedrest all led to BFing just making my PPD skyrocket. I admittedly didn't give it my best effort, but I have no guilt about it. I needed to do what was necessary to keep us all happy and healthy. And for us, that meant formula feeding.
Well, if you know a few moms who didn't even want to try, why not ask THEM? You might be surprised - there might actually be a reason but one they didn't feel necessary to readily share.
And even if there is no "reason" (at least in your eyes), WHY does it matter? I too really don't understand why this is something to judge over.
Plus, also, what does a "pumped" bottle look like in comparison to a formula bottle? I pumped, stored the milk in BAGS, and then poured the milk into the same bottles that I eventually used for formula. So.... how can you tell by the type of bottle that they aren't using BM???
Plus, also, what does a "pumped" bottle look like in comparison to a formula bottle? I pumped, stored the milk in BAGS, and then poured the milk into the same bottles that I eventually used for formula. So.... how can you tell by the type of bottle that they aren't using BM???
no kidding.
We are supplementing with formula and I have to mark the bottles with painters tape because I can't tell it apart (and the shelf life rules are sooo different).
I assumed she meant the ready-to-feed bottles they have at the hospital.
We are supplementing with formula and I have to mark the bottles with painters tape because I can't tell it apart (and the shelf life rules are sooo different).
I assumed she meant the ready-to-feed bottles they have at the hospital.
IMO pumped BM looks different than formula, but you can't tell unless you see it upclose. Anyway, I admit too that I don't understand this. For example, SIL didn't even try because she didn't want her boobs to unperkify.
I will also say that I think most hospitals and society in a general does a horrible job of educating women about the benefits/ease/importance of breastfeeding. All around you see babies fed with bottles (I mean think about movies/tv babies are rarely breastfed). It is what people are used to seeing.
A variety of reasons, and you don't know any backstory. For example:
1. Mom may have adopted ::raises hand:: and was either unable or unwiling to do adoptive BFing 2. Tried it (how do you know they didn't even try it?) and it was painful/difficult/baby didn't latch/milk didn't come in/etc. 3. Will have to return to work quickly and won't be able to pump, so don't see the point in even starting for only a few days/weeks 4. Family pressure (overt or implied) that it's icky, difficult, painful, or not worth it 5. Family dyamics such that it would be difficult to BF while chasing around/shuttling around a number of children
Thanks for these reasons. It does make sense that family and cultural factors play a part.
I am not anti formula, just looking for reasons why a mom would not want to try at all. 6. Bad previous experience
I will also say that I think most hospitals and society in a general does a horrible job of educating women about the benefits/ease/importance of breastfeeding. All around you see babies fed with bottles (I mean think about movies/tv babies are rarely breastfed). It is what people are used to seeing.
This isn't my experience, though. Don't know if it's where I live, the research i did, or my friends, but I felt an overwhelming pressure to BF. And when I had problems w/ nursing, I felt INCREDIBLY guilty because of all the "breast is best" I had around me.
And I've had a couple friends talk about this and how guilty they felt, etc, when they weren't able to nurse as long as they originally had hoped.
I will also say that I think most hospitals and society in a general does a horrible job of educating women about the benefits/ease/importance of breastfeeding. All around you see babies fed with bottles (I mean think about movies/tv babies are rarely breastfed). It is what people are used to seeing.
This isn't my experience, though. Don't know if it's where I live, the research i did, or my friends, but I felt an overwhelming pressure to BF. And when I had problems w/ nursing, I felt INCREDIBLY guilty because of all the "breast is best" I had around me.
And I've had a couple friends talk about this and how guilty they felt, etc, when they weren't able to nurse as long as they originally had hoped.
I mean I agree, everyone I know breastfeeds. But I am not very representative of the population. And I know that women do feel pressure and guilt, I was just merely looking at the statistics and popular culture (how surprised was everyone when Beyonce was seen breastfeeding?).
The statistics show that even though 74% of women start out breastfeeding only 35% EBF at 3 months and 14% EBF at 6 months. So the majority of women out there do formula feed or supplment.
The statistics show that even though 74% of women start out breastfeeding only 35% EBF at 3 months and 14% EBF at 6 months. So the majority of women out there do formula feed or supplment.
Huh, I did not know this. This isn't representative of the people I know at all!
I don't mean can't bf, meds, or whatever. I mean the moms who just choose not to.
Do you really even know many people that fall into this category? Literally everyone I know who hasn't breastfed at all has had some sort of extenuating circumstances (not that they need one) that made breastfeeding impossible, ill advised, or very difficult--medications, supply issues, multiples, preemies, breast reductions, histories of sexual abuse, etc. In many of these cases, the issues would not be apparent from a picture.
I don't mean can't bf, meds, or whatever. I mean the moms who just choose not to.
Do you really even know many people that fall into this category? Literally everyone I know who hasn't breastfed at all has had some sort of extenuating circumstances (not that they need one) that made breastfeeding impossible, ill advised, or very difficult--medications, supply issues, multiples, preemies, breast reductions, histories of sexual abuse, etc. In many of these cases, the issues would not be apparent from a picture.
Yes I know a few people that said they have no interest. I was truly just curious about why people would just not be interested. Have gotten several great valid reasons ( including just don't want to)
Post by partiallysunny on May 15, 2012 9:49:29 GMT -5
I know women have chosen to not breastfeed with no medical reason or extenuating circumstance. My opinion is still the same. The baby is being feed and is no danger. I do not judge.
And I'll just come out and say it. It has no appeal to me. I have fibrocystic breasts which are sometimes painful even on a good day, I can't imagine how they'd feel engorged with a gummy nb clamping down on them. Since I FF'd DD, if I were to ever have a live baby, it would probably be something I'd consider, but would strongly lean against doing.
Flame if you must.
I have one friend who simply chose not to BF. She had 3 other small children to chase after, and didn't want to add to her already packed schedule. Who was I to judge?
Post by karinothing on May 15, 2012 10:12:12 GMT -5
I will say I am interested to see if Obama's push for employers to provide mom's with places to pump coupled with the AAP's recentent statement that breastfeeding (unless otherwise contradicted) is a public health issue not a lifestyle choice will increase the number of women who try BF. Although as I mentioned earlier 74% of women do try, so that number is pretty high IMO, and if you take out those that can't do it due to medication or previous surgery or whatever I bet you the actual number of people that don't try at all is pretty small.