kari, I think your idea to donate your milk is honourable, but truly, I would rather give scientifically tested formula than some random person (i would take yours of course) i am sure they would test it for diseases, etc but I wouldnt know that they were eating healthy. Etc
There are 2 possible scenarios that I am familiar with. #1, you meet someone personally or through a trusted friend. #2, milk bank that screens. I donated my extra pumped milk to a mom dying of cancer who had to stop nursing hew newborn due to chemo. We met through mutual friends, used the same midwife, and I shared my medical info.
Re. the general conversation, I think the idea that "everyone knows the benefits of BFing" is an upper white class idea. I think it is very untrue for many people in the US.
I have actually never known anyone who didn't try to BF. I have known people who have tried and stopped very quickly due to various reasons, one of which, I will admit, I judged (although it was a small part of the whole judge-worthy bad parenting situation).
I imagine that if I met someone who chose not to attempt BF'ing at all, I would first think "uneducated" (which, before you judge me for saying that, I do think the research about bf'ing rates supports it), and then possibly "abuse survivor". I think that says more about my culture, which is extremely pro-bfing, then is does about me being judgemental. If you grow up NEVER knowing/seeing bottlefeeding, and every single mom friend you have nurses, well, of course you will expect people to nurse, and it would be a bit shocking to see a bottle fed newborn.
I about fell over the first time I saw a baby with juice in a bottle, lol.
ETA: Also, I think all the people who tried really hard and had to quit are a totally different situation from never trying at all. I don't get the relevance to the original question. This coming from someone whose baby went on a nursing strike at 7-8 months, which resulted in me quitting nursing. I didn't feel guilty or pressured at all. I tried to get her to nurse, within the bounds of family balance and mama sanity, it didn't work, oh well, move on. I really don't get the feeling judged thing, and like I said, that is me coming from a community of 99%-100% bfing rates.
Post by leshoequeen on May 18, 2012 10:32:11 GMT -5
I'm pretty sure I'm not trying with our next baby. I tried with DD after a traumatic emergency C/S and it was horrible. She didn't latch well. I never had much supply. I was an emotional mess over the entire thing. I wanted it to work out but it didn't and in the end it was much more of a struggle than it was worth. I don't know that I'm willing to go through that again. My DD is a perfectly healthy 2 year old who was (mostly) formula-fed!
After hearing all the negatives (pain, frustration, exhaustion, etc), I get why people don't try.
And honestly after everything I went through to get BFing to work with DD, I thought MANY times about not trying with LO2 when the time comes. Thankfully we settled into a routine so I don't feel this way, but if someone had asked me "how's it going" at week 1-8 of BFing, they would have heard an earful that would have no doubt turned them off.