Anyone want to talk to me about sex?

[Bernadine]

I don't even know what about exactly, lol, but I'm getting a little nervous. I'm pretty sure it will be happening in the near future. I do feel ready, but Xh is the only person I've been with and our sex life was, um, lacking.

I'm scared I'm going to be bad. Or that I don't do it like other girls do.

[dakotadangerdog]

www.amazon.com/Guide-Getting-Paul-Joannides/dp/1885535333/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1342623845&sr=1-1&keywords=the+guide+to+getting+it+on

Best book ever.

Be open. Be honest. Relax. Maybe get drunk first.

[roselis]

I was scared I was going to bed bad my first time post-separation too. But apparently I wasn't as the guy came back for more.
My best suggestion is not to try and force anything. Just go with it and enjoy it. It got a lot better once I stopped worrying about it.

[roselis]

Jul 18, 2012 10:04:53 GMT -5 dakotadangerdog said:

Maybe get drunk first.

Ok, I have to agree with this one. I was drinking and asked the guy to stay the night. Wouldn't have had the guts to do that otherwise. Luckily, I was sober by the time we got to it.

[margaritagirl]

Same here - XH was my only. You'll be fine. You don't know their history either!

I agree totally - maybe relax a bit with a few drinks.

[Deleted]

I think the pressure is mostly on the guy so you have that! Just go with the flow and be natural.

[doriswe]

I was really anxious about my first time post marriage and spent way too much time worrying about it. It was totally fine and I doubled checked with him and he said it was all good!!

[redredwine]

The way I got over it was to just start having more of it...

The first time post-D was a one nighter so there was NO pressure at all, I knew exactly what it was (and maybe planned it that way). The second opportunity after that I was super nervous, to the point where I didn't even have it and then I think the guy got tired of trying after several times and peaced out (so be it, he was a douche). Finally, I kinda just got over it. Once I letting go of my nervousness and all the chatter in my head about "should I? shouldn't I?" and just started having it, I realized it wasn't that big of a deal and started enjoying it.

Now I'm getting my groove back and I'm liking it.

Of course, I did have my sluttly moments before I was married.

[redredwine]

Jul 18, 2012 9:45:45 GMT -5 Bernadine said:

I'm scared I'm going to be bad. Or that I don't do it like other girls do.

As for this? Yah...have a few drinks. Then fake it til ya make it! Guys won't know the difference and they'll be happy they're getting some!

[riverpestie]

Another vote for a few drinks!!

[gozf]

NOT TOO MANY DRINKS!

[missbetty1]

I would have voted for having a few drinks but after having jasmine tea (hot) for the first time a week or so ago I would strongly suggest you and him drink that! It made both me and Mars very relaxed, euphoric and horny and it didn't affect me having a orgasm like alcohol does...omg I've got to get more of that stuff...

[gozf]

Look, I don't know anything about this jasmine tea thing, but seriously, don't drink much. A glass of wine or 2 to take the edge off, fine. But so much more can go wrong if you end up overindulging or it just hits you wrong.

It's ok to be nervous. Nerves are good. Nerves remind you of your boundaries.

[missbetty1]

Jul 18, 2012 11:45:13 GMT -5 gozf said:

Look, I don't know anything about this jasmine tea thing, but seriously, don't drink much. A glass of wine or 2 to take the edge off, fine. But so much more can go wrong if you end up overindulging or it just hits you wrong.

It's ok to be nervous. Nerves are good. Nerves remind you of your boundaries.

We only drank a cup while we were out at dinner...a little goes a long way lol... plus it has other positive health benefits...

[Bernadine]

I probably will have a drink or two to loosen up a bit. I'm not too embarrassed to let him know I'm a little out of practice. I know I'm probably psyching myself up for no reason.

Also, I just got back from my brazilian. My vag hurts. I hope he appreciates this, lol.

[turtle1120]

Jul 18, 2012 12:46:02 GMT -5 Bernadine said:

I probably will have a drink or two to loosen up a bit. I'm not too embarrassed to let him know I'm a little out of practice. I know I'm probably psyching myself up for no reason.

Also, I just got back from my brazilian. My vag hurts. I hope he appreciates this, lol.

You've got nothing to worry about!!! He'll be too excited to notice if it's really good or not!

[silverhammer]

Jul 18, 2012 11:45:13 GMT -5 gozf said:

It's ok to be nervous. Nerves are good. Nerves remind you of your boundaries.

LOVE this!

Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Sex is supposed to be fun! Sloppy, drunk sex is not great, especially when it's your first time with a guy. Assuming you know what you like, just tell him. Ask him what he likes and you'll both have a good time!

[stephbfan]

Well my ex wasn't my one and only but in addition to being the 1st time that I slept with him afterwards it was also my first time after I had DD so I was very self conscious too.
I went in VERY nervous but after a while I was soo into it that I just stopped thinking. My advice is, fool around a lot before you takes your clothes off.