Post by lasagnasshole on Jun 12, 2014 17:08:20 GMT -5
I have so many thoughts.
1) With the title, I assumed her H must be a college professor. (When he taught, my H halfway dreaded spring every year when all the short skirts and low cut tops came out because he said it felt impossible to look at a female student without it looking like you were the pervy old man staring at her tits when you're really just trying to teach them about Duverger's Law.) I did not expect him to be a regular Joe with a Facebook account.
2) How many people are in their newsfeeds wearing bikinis? Not saying I have never seen a bikini or a low cut top on social media, but she makes it sound like it's nonstop.
3) This man of mine diverts his eyes from whatever questionable images flash on the screen before him. But sometimes the temptation is too much. What does this even mean? That sometimes he looks at a picture of a woman wearing a swimsuit? That every time he sees a woman in a swimsuit, he whips it out and starts jerking off? That he'd rather masturbate to Facebook pics than have sex with you?
"Your cellulite? Yeah, instead of spending hours at the gym, you chose to dedicate that time to reading your child an extra story or spend extra time snuggling with your husband. That cellulite is testimony to your dedication to your family."
Well, fuck me. I go to the gym, and I'm still fat.
So I don't even have anything to show for neglecting my marriage.
I actually feel kind of sad for her. I can't imagine how horrible it must feel to constantly think that every image of a woman in a bikini is an assault on your marriage. That has to be stressful and clearly she's super insecure.
She needs to seek counseling immediately. People covering their boobs will not help her. If all the boobs and legs disappeared, there's still young beautiful faces and fantastic figures that could tempt her poor husband.
Okay, what? She has a Megan-Heimer-esque dedication to adopting from Africa.
Well, supposedly they are adopting from Lesotho, not the Republic of the Congo. But she has this on her header: A Teacher + A Doctor turned global migrants. Oh and pink & brown babies, too!
Da fuq?
(Also, if it's really a "problem" in her marriage, why don't they just delete their social media accounts?)
I actually feel kind of sad for her. I can't imagine how horrible it must feel to constantly think that every image of a woman in a bikini is an assault on your marriage. That has to be stressful and clearly she's super insecure.
She needs to seek counseling immediately. People covering their boobs will not help her. If all the boobs and legs disappeared, there's still young beautiful faces and fantastic figures that could tempt her poor husband.
Her blog header says she currently lives in the land of super petite people - SE Asia. So, um, I think this is something she obsesses over.
I had this kind of attitude when I was an insecure college girl. I can't imagine being a grown-ass woman with a husband and children and still feeling like every attractive woman is a serious threat to your relationship.
It must be hard to be that incredibly insecure, and it must suck to live in marriage where your husband apparently has no control over his own thoughts or, possibly, penis. I mean, It's been years since this squishy midsection saw the light of day in public, and I'm sure my husband has occasion to see women in swimsuits (try my best to keep him inside all summer, he's sneaky like a cat!) and amazingly, he's yet to have accidental sex with anyone brought on by her boobage exposure.
What a small, sad life one must lead when this takes up so much headspace. When she is compelled to write a whole diatribe about protecting her husband and marriage from bathing suit Instagram pics.
Post by mominatrix on Jun 12, 2014 17:38:16 GMT -5
Seriously, I think I'm really insecure, and it does sometimes come out inappropriately... But I'm effing Beyonce compared to this woman.
I don't feel sorry for her husband. I blame him. One thing I get from my H is a sublime sense of security... like I don't worry that he's not wanting to be with me because he wants to be with ME, he clarified and established that. I might not feel like the bestest, most beautiful woman in the world, but I also know that TO HIM (and for him) I am, and I'm fine with that.
This woman's husband has/d the opportunity to do that, but instead she's convinced that she's an also-ran. I wonder who convinced her of that?
Now, I could be wrong... that's been known to happen!... but I don't like the sense of HER insecurity in a vacuum, KWIM?
Seriously, I think I'm really insecure, and it does sometimes come out inappropriately... But I'm effing Beyonce compared to this woman.
I don't feel sorry for her husband. I blame him. One thing I get from my H is a sublime sense of security... like I don't worry that he's not wanting to be with me because he wants to be with ME, he clarified and established that. I might not feel like the bestest, most beautiful woman in the world, but I also know that TO HIM (and for him) I am, and I'm fine with that.
This woman's husband has/d the opportunity to do that, but instead she's convinced that she's an also-ran. I wonder who convinced her of that?
Now, I could be wrong... that's been known to happen!... but I don't like the sense of HER insecurity in a vacuum, KWIM?
I actually blame their religious culture.
Phrases like "guarding your heart" are very fundie. I have spent enough time in churches to know there is this whole fundie subculture that sees any sort of attractive visual image as a MAJOR temptation to all men. It's the root of the "girls have to dress modestly so as not to tempt the boys."
Not to say the H isn't to blame because he's buying into this culture, too. It frankly makes a WAY bigger deal of this kind of stuff than it needs to be.
I'm sure the husband could do a better job at making his wife feel beautiful and loved. But I am pretty sure it's more that this issue is intertwined in their cultural worldview than it is that he's looking too long at busty co-eds.
Well did you read the part about her Dad hiding her "sexy" clothes? That couldn't have helped.
Look my DH works with non ugly women all damn day. I am free to worry about it and all the social medias if I wanna grow myself an ulcer or two. Or I could trust that our marriage is made of more than that and if it's not, then I guess I would find out soon enough and I would say good riddance.
Well did you read the part about her Dad hiding her "sexy" clothes? That couldn't have helped.
It's also weird how she uses the actions of teenage boys to explain why her grown husband needs protecting.
The obvious implication is that he hasn't matured at all since he was 15.
It's stupid, and frankly, it's insulting to men.
It's why this whole way of thinking is so fucked up. It infantlizes men with an attitude that they can't possibly help themselves, and it puts the entire onus of protecting the weak men from their insatiable desires. GROSS.
Seriously, I think I'm really insecure, and it does sometimes come out inappropriately... But I'm effing Beyonce compared to this woman.
I don't feel sorry for her husband. I blame him. One thing I get from my H is a sublime sense of security... like I don't worry that he's not wanting to be with me because he wants to be with ME, he clarified and established that. I might not feel like the bestest, most beautiful woman in the world, but I also know that TO HIM (and for him) I am, and I'm fine with that.
This woman's husband has/d the opportunity to do that, but instead she's convinced that she's an also-ran. I wonder who convinced her of that?
Now, I could be wrong... that's been known to happen!... but I don't like the sense of HER insecurity in a vacuum, KWIM?
I actually blame their religious culture.
Phrases like "guarding your heart" are very fundie. I have spent enough time in churches to know there is this whole fundie subculture that sees any sort of attractive visual image as a MAJOR temptation to all men. It's the root of the "girls have to dress modestly so as not to tempt the boys."
Not to say the H isn't to blame because he's buying into this culture, too. It frankly makes a WAY bigger deal of this kind of stuff than it needs to be.
I'm sure the husband could do a better job at making his wife feel beautiful and loved. But I am pretty sure it's more that this issue is intertwined in their cultural worldview than it is that he's looking too long at busty co-eds.
Yeah, I'm too lazy to go back and c&p on my phone but the way she talks about men being so visual and stereotypes by gender sounds like a fundie worldview to me.
I agree with everyone else that she needs help for her insecurity. I know I'm a damned good catch, that my husband is a smart man, and that he loves me, so I spend exactly zero time worrying about him seeing another woman's body.
Seriously, I think I'm really insecure, and it does sometimes come out inappropriately... But I'm effing Beyonce compared to this woman.
I don't feel sorry for her husband. I blame him. One thing I get from my H is a sublime sense of security... like I don't worry that he's not wanting to be with me because he wants to be with ME, he clarified and established that. I might not feel like the bestest, most beautiful woman in the world, but I also know that TO HIM (and for him) I am, and I'm fine with that.
This woman's husband has/d the opportunity to do that, but instead she's convinced that she's an also-ran. I wonder who convinced her of that?
Now, I could be wrong... that's been known to happen!... but I don't like the sense of HER insecurity in a vacuum, KWIM?
This is a good point. But I do think it has a lot to do with their religious culture.
"This prick is asking for someone here to bring him to task Somebody give me some dirt on this vacuous mass so we can at last unmask him I'll pull the trigger on it, someone load the gun and cock it While we were all watching, he got Washington in his pocket."
2) How many people are in their newsfeeds wearing bikinis? Not saying I have never seen a bikini or a low cut top on social media, but she makes it sound like it's nonstop.
Carl has this friend from HS who bought herself some bodacious tatas and LOVES to show them off on FB. He shows me the posts and we laugh at her together. I'm sure he's secretly dating her.
Pfft, she's missing out. Letting her husband get all wound up and hot looking at pics before going to bed with him takes a lot of work out for her.
Seriously though, yeah, serious self esteem issues with a fun mix of leftover guilt from Daddy with that one. Yikes. She must be on board with victim blaming in a rape case where the woman was "wearing too little".
Post by mominatrix on Jun 12, 2014 18:21:08 GMT -5
Oh, I'm with you that a HUGE part of this is religious culture. But my guess is that her husband is no peach, either.
Maybe I should be stressed. One of my H's best friends at work is a mid-20-something year old genuine hottie. But I'm not. 'cuz I'm me and he's him and they work together and bitch about their manager and play Nerf wars at work... and then go on with their lives.
One of the things I hate is this assumption that people can't have any kind of relationship that doesn't have sexytime.